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Secondary education

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Original poster

Bereavement in schools - help!!

146 replies

missdisorganised1 · 09/01/2011 08:30

It has been 11 months since my Mum and Dad were killed. My Nan and Granddad looked after me after the accident until I was 18 but since I was 18 (October last year) I have been living in the family home on my own.

The school staff know all this so why do I still get some school letters addressed to my Mum and Dad. The last one only this last Friday. I?ve tried ignoring it, mentioning it to the Head of the Sixth Form and I even wrote to the Chair of Governors (who wrote back to my parents rather than me which was a "nice" touch)

I am just getting so stressed by this and need to vent somewhere. Sorry!

OP posts:
wigglybeezer · 14/08/2011 15:58

Can I suggest that you write a diary or do a video diary of your reactions and feelings on important occassions. There may not be anyone to share those experiences with you now but there will be in the future. Your children would be fascinated!

Original poster
missdisorganised1 · 18/08/2011 10:28

I did it ? I got the grades I needed and I?m off to uni as planned!! I needed 280 points, which is a BBC, and I managed to get ABB.

The Head of the Sixth form was lurking and clearly looking out for me when I arrived at school and I could tell by her broad smile that I didn?t have anything to worry about. She was very kind and made a special fuss of me knowing that I didn?t have parents outside in the carpark or on the other end of the phone. In the past I have moaned about the school sometimes being rather casual or cruel but today they got 10/10 for the way they handled it.

I think all of my friends got the grades they needed and six of us are going out tonight. I saw two girls and 1 lad in tears so something went wrong for them and I saw one parent having a real shout at a teacher, "Why didn't you warn us!!!"

Can I say to the people here that have supported me, thank you, you did make a difference.

OP posts:
Leverkusen · 18/08/2011 10:35

Well done! You've done so well! I am sure your parents wod have been extremely proud

archfiend · 18/08/2011 10:46

That's fantastic, many congratulations and have a lovely night out with your friends!

PercyPigPie · 18/08/2011 11:17

Well done Smile. You are amazing.

landed · 18/08/2011 11:24

Hi missdisorganised1 I haven't posted before as I haven't had anything extra or of use to add, but now and again I have seen your postings and been extremely impressed by you. I just wanted to say you are FANTASTIC, congratulations and you really do deserve to go far. I hope you enjoy your time at uni. Have a lovely night out celebrating.

MysteriousHamster · 18/08/2011 11:49

Congrats, those are fantastic results! When you do find out where you'll be living on campus? Will it be easy enough to rent the house out?

Congrats again :)

boohoohoo · 18/08/2011 12:10

Congratulations!, read your post and shed and welled up at such wonderful news, your parents would be so proud of you. have an amazing time tonight x

boohoohoo · 18/08/2011 12:12

Shed?

SoupDragon · 18/08/2011 12:14

Congratulations! :)

activate · 18/08/2011 12:14

OMG massive congratulations - well done you you obviously worked extremely hard and you have done incredibly well

good for you

cornsilx · 18/08/2011 12:15

well done Smile

Pippaandpolly · 18/08/2011 12:26

I haven't posted on your thread before but have just read the whole thing and wanted to say a massive congratulations. One of my students lost her Dad last year and also got her A2 results today-I'm very proud of her and I'm sure a lot of people are very proud of you too. Enjoy celebrating Smile

katz · 18/08/2011 14:06

congratulations - well done you

cat64 · 18/08/2011 14:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 18/08/2011 15:12

Another who's just read your thread.

Fantastic news, very well done. I'm sure everyone at MN, who has seen your story, is really delighted for you. Grin

Grockle · 18/08/2011 16:07

Will done MissD Smile

Original poster
missdisorganised1 · 18/08/2011 17:21

People here have been very kind to me, especially today. I haven't managed to speak to my Nan or Granddad yet, they are on a coach tour until Sunday and instead of taking the mobile phone and leaving the list of contact details they did it the other way round.

The estate agent sounded pleased when I confirmed that I would be wanting to rent the house out but that's it so far apart from Mumsnet people. The aunt and uncle who help look after my finances get back from work about 6 or 6:30 so they are next on the list.

OP posts:
JWIM · 19/08/2011 10:04

MissD - many, many well deserved congratulations - fantastic results. Hope that you had a chance to tell your aunt and uncle and that you will soon be able to speak to grandparents. Hope you and your friends had a great celebration. Here's to a successful time at university and a bright future.

Waltons · 20/08/2011 16:41

Glorious news missd and I am so happy for you! Enjoy the celebrations and all the excitement of preparing for uni.

Your surrogate mums will still be here if you need us. :)

Dozer · 20/08/2011 20:30

Congratulations!

Sandalwood · 20/08/2011 20:34

Well done to you!

Original poster
missdisorganised1 · 21/08/2011 08:56

Now I am going to university there is so much to do before the Induction Week (September 19th)! I'm renting out Mum and Dad's home because I need the money to live on. This means living with my Nan and Granddad during the holidays which isn't ideal for them or me. I am grateful and I will pay rent it just not really the way I expected to be living as a student. The Estate Agent has been round again and the renting family are wanting to move in the week before I depart so I will have to work round that. They pay for six moths to start with but I hope they might be longer term than that. One room in the house will have a lock put on it and some of my stuff plus some of Mum and Dad's that I didn't want to part with will be stored in there.

OP posts:
NappyShedSal · 21/08/2011 22:53

WELL DONE!! I am sitting here in tears - not sure why, but am soooo pleased that you did well in your exams and have got yourself to Uni. Have a blast, and I hope the house renting / sorting etc goes smoothly.

Waltons · 22/08/2011 21:48

missd, you will probably find that you can spend holiday periods with friends doing other things - perhaps not immediately, but after a couple of terms. Try to enjoy the time you spend with your grandparents and humour them. It isn't easy for any of you, but they are your family, and you all need each other for different reasons.

Good luck with sorting out the rental.