Felpersham Cathedral School

[LoathsomeLizzieP]

Can anyone help? DH was planning in sending DD and DS (twins) to Mercer College, but I am unsure whether boarding would suit them, particularly DS.

We live about 10 miles from Felpersham and are considering the Cathedral School - do any MN'ers have any experience of it? Exam results seem good, but are the facilities and extracurricular opportunities as good as an Independent School?

Also worried about entrance exams, DH has arranged extra tutoring, but concerned about DS, particularly in Maths. Should we keep the option of Mercer College open, and what other independent schools in the area can be considered? Other local state schools are not up to standard, DC's will go to Borchester Green over my dead body.

No help here but does the rest of your family think?

How bad is Borchester Green?

Can I add: I think you are a snobby cow and I DO find you loathsome.

Definately ask your mum. And consider your own experience....if for example independant school made your husband a feckless tosser and you a bossy, selfish little madam then you might want to think again........

BTW - how is your second cousin doing with her AI baby?

You are loathsome, but I understand that is your raison d'etre. Your precious twins need to get a good dose of relaity at Borchester Green. Then jazzer can take your DS under his wing and introduce him to porridge and beer.

Ds is too thick for Felpersham. I think you should send dd there and ds somewhere like Borchester where his dimness won't make him a pariah. Of course you won't do that because as the son and heir he must be cherished and dd will just have to lump it too.

BTW - I hate their names - ok by themselves but really twee as a pair.

No chance of that - she's far too busy with the Orangery and telling her family what to do.

From my experience I boarded at independent school and found that it was the intangible things, social skills and the like, that really helped me to get on in life, as like DS I am bright but wasn't the most academic.

My oldest brother was a bit of a brainbox but went to the local grammar and has never really achieved much. This is what makes the decision so difficult - it is not just a case of exam results.

My neice went to Borchester Green, having met some of her friends there I wouldn't have my DCs go near the place!

Your last few words sound distinctly probable. Things have gone far too well for you these
past few years.

And, by the way, did you or did you not have a hand in the death of your DMIL? I've always wondered.

I don't know why you're so bothered about what school they're going to go to. They're going to inherit Locksley Manor or whatever it's called, they don't need any social skills or academic qualifications to do well in life.

I mean, look at Otis Ferry.

Felpersham Cathedral school is an Independent school. That's why your DC are sitting an entrance exam for it and why your sainted mother is cool about it.

However, as its probably in truth a second-rate private school, it will be stacked out with rich-but-dim kids and your DS will fit in beautifully. I take it the grammar is now defunct - pity, I expect that would have suited your DD much better. But as your mother rightly observes, she should do well anywhere.

Lower Locksley even.

And they'll get a bit of Brookfield won't they? And poor Ruaridh will get sweet FA and will probably kill one of the twins in revenge anyway...

I don't see why Ruaridh should take it out on the twins. He's a Home Farm Aldridge not an actual Archer.

You may wish to consider modern educational thought as regards the teaching of twins. Unfortunately, OP, your DS is as thick as his old pa and your DD is bright - should they be educated at the same school?
You may have overlooked St Snobs, the local school attended by your cousin Alice Aldridge. Surely a good school to choose for your DD? You might as well send DS to Borchester Green so he can mingle with his intellectual peers from Meadow Rise.

Ah but they don't even live on the farm and they'll be getting bits of it when he won't...

Ruaridh will get all of Home Farm - the gals will be the ones getting bugger all. I'm pretty sure David and Ruth bought off his vile siblings some years ago. Lizzie was very shrill about securing Dim and not-so-dims inheritance.

You have an extremely irritating voice and manner, and the way you and your husband converse is totally unrealistic. Your only hope of Freddie not turning into his dad is to send him to Borchester Green - your mum is too tactful to tell you the real reason

BTW. If your DD is so bright, how come we never hear from her? We hear Freddie occasionally but never Lily (what was that business on stir-up Sunday where the (numerous, but only the male) grandchildren ate so much of bowl-lickings that they were a bit queasy?)
Has Nigel turned into a Victorian parent and is so alarmed that his daughter might have brains that he has locked her in the attic?

You wait till your kids go off the rails like the Fragrant Kate.
Then again, when I was decorating the kitchen of my last house 20 years ago hearing you whining along every evening as the snotty teen, it amuses me no end how stuck up you've become.

Go buy a tree from Eddie and some scrumpy from Jazzer.

What I don't understand is why you are worried about the twins being split up if Lily gets into the Cathedral School and Freddie doesn't - but your alternative for Freddie is Felpersham Boys. Or have I misunderstood? Or is Lily a traditional boy's name in your dh's family?

Pip's not as irritating as Shula was at that age.