@WaxOnFeckOff of course that's what she's being asked to do. You really are splitting hairs.
It's the behaviour that's the issue. It's the behaviour that broke the trust. If not the behaviour what is she to apologise for? If he was merely grandstanding, although I doubt it, then it's even worse.
She has said quite consistently that the first she knew he acted inappropriately was when he handed her the letter after arriving at her house.
I believe that to an extent. I think whatever is in that letter was probably not illegal but way over the line and indefensible.
I think it was probably pretty common knowledge that he was, I don't even know how to put it tbh, flirtatious? Enjoyed the company of women? But he probably toed the line of acceptability that existed in the pre #metoo climate. Would that kind of behaviour wash now? No way.