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Welcome to Scotsnet - discuss all aspects of life in Scotland, including relocating, schools and local areas.

Here come those tiers again.

999 replies

Cismyfatarse · 12/02/2021 16:30

New Fred.

OP posts:
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6
NearWildHeaven · 14/02/2021 13:46

@Lockdownbear

She brought home the empties?? Give her credit for not being a litter bug.Smile

I think you and DH need to discuss how you approach it.
But I'd be asking questions who's idea, where did they get the money etc

I didn't think it was legal to drink in public places in Scotland so a reminder of the law and risk of being caught.

At 16 shes not a kick in the bum off drinking legally so chat about responsible drinking and risks of getting taken advantage of being drunk etc.

I think she's 13 though?

I feel for you @jabbathebutt

It's like the posters here have said. Combo of boredom and monotony and usual teenage rebellion. It's probably just another headache you don't need right now.

Lockdownbear · 14/02/2021 13:48

Sorry I thought I read 16!Shock

jabbathebutt · 14/02/2021 13:51

yes she's 13. Literally turned 13 yesterday and I suspect maybe it was some kind of birthday present or something from friend. Apparently friend's mum is "always drunk". So I initially had sympathy but now I'm concerned. DH says he will talk to her "later" but its "not a big deal". I'm the one who is much more strict and always arguing with her so I'm really biting my tongue right now! DD has had some trouble with previous friends ditching her so I thought she'd found a nice new friend but now not so sure! Like PPs said, lockdown has been hard on our kids so I'm reluctant to ground her or anything like that.

NearWildHeaven · 14/02/2021 13:55

@jabbathebutt

yes she's 13. Literally turned 13 yesterday and I suspect maybe it was some kind of birthday present or something from friend. Apparently friend's mum is "always drunk". So I initially had sympathy but now I'm concerned. DH says he will talk to her "later" but its "not a big deal". I'm the one who is much more strict and always arguing with her so I'm really biting my tongue right now! DD has had some trouble with previous friends ditching her so I thought she'd found a nice new friend but now not so sure! Like PPs said, lockdown has been hard on our kids so I'm reluctant to ground her or anything like that.
Absolutely you need more info. For all you know it was a gift she didn't really want but felt she had to go along with to keep her friend happy?

It's been so cold maybe she would rather have had a hot chocolate than a wine!

Our poor teens. This is just rubbish

Lockdownbear · 14/02/2021 13:58

@MaxNormal

I think the premise of closing your borders so as to have a normal life inside them is a good one

I don't see how it's a particularly feasible one. The UK is massively reliant on imports and a major international transit hub, our society and economy is not set up for long-term border closures. It's also inhumane - there are many people who, thanks to years of freedom of movement, have structured their lives around international travel and loved ones in other countries. It's completely unfair to pull the rug out from under them and the lives they built in good faith as a long-term strategy.

It also sounds bloody miserable. Who wants to be stuck on one little island for years on end?

I suppose it's easy for the SNP to posture about it - let England take the hit for all the goods coming in at Kent etc but play at being strict. Not sure what the legalities are of attempting to close a land border with the rest of the UK are but I suppose we'll find out soon enough.

That's pretty much how I feel. It's pointless closing borders. They'd need to make exceptions for essential business travel and very little of the current travel will be anything but essential business travel.
WaxOnFeckOff · 14/02/2021 14:11

Just my opinion jabba, but i would try not to be very angry etc. I think, if they are normally a decent kid, they respond better to a calmer discussion about why what they did was a really poor judgement (could get taken advantage off/people can spike alcohol/health reasons/what a life of drink can lead to/might get in trouble with the police etc etc.

What you want her to do is to make better judgements for herself so maybe some tools in how to say no without being teased for being a baby, how some people try to bring you down to their level to make them feel better, just really some lessons in resilience and how to deal with life more positively for herself?

Just my tuppence worth.

blowinahoolie · 14/02/2021 14:19

jabba do you drink alcohol together at meals? DS (13) gets alcohol occasionally at home, but miniscule amounts. He has the occasional shandy too at weekends, so it is not a big deal.

Hopefully you can sit down and have a chat with her about it, over a few mocktails WinkAsk Frank is a fantastic tool online too.

mondaywine · 14/02/2021 14:22

@IncludeWomenInTheSequel that’s to allows Celtic to regroup and remember how to play football. We have been dire recently!

jabbathebutt · 14/02/2021 14:30

I don't drink at all and DH only socially.
DD says it was a gift, first time she'd ever tried anything, upset and sorry. Had a talk to remind her about her age, being safe, and how her friend needs to show some more respect for other people's houses and rules (friend is nearly 14). Also DD needing to be honest and not hide anything from us.
Will definitely be keeping a closer eye on this friendship going forward.

blowinahoolie · 14/02/2021 14:59

jabba sounds like she has learned from it and genuinely didn't realise the wider implications. Tough times for our teenagers growing up just now. Glad all is resolved 😊

anon444877 · 14/02/2021 15:03

All the who wants a holiday stuff always misses too that not everyone has relatives locally. Last year, we met one set of grandparents in Scotland for one week in August - and we've not seen the others since before this time last year, or any aunts, uncles, cousins etc.

Devi, Jason etc they often come across as lacking empathy to me. What's wrong with wanting a holiday anyway? It doesn't make you evil.

anon444877 · 14/02/2021 15:06

jabba your poor teen, so much of their routine and options are gone - if you are stuck at home with parents getting stuck into wine or beer several nights a week it's probably somewhat natural as a thing to try, undesirable as it is.

DollyMixtureLulus · 14/02/2021 15:19

Jabba if they go to school together I'd phone and let guidance know about her friend and her mum. That's such a worry.

Scottishskifun · 14/02/2021 15:23

We are trying to book a holiday cottage in Scotland I know it's a risk and might get cancelled but I need the thought that there is some escape to look forward to! Also we live in a really low area mostly so hopefully will continue to be low.

We are also lucky in that we own a campervan so we can escape somewhere if we wish once allowed but I'm not touching anywhere on the 500 route!

IncludeWomenInTheSequel · 14/02/2021 15:31

[quote mondaywine]@IncludeWomenInTheSequel that’s to allows Celtic to regroup and remember how to play football. We have been dire recently![/quote]
Grin

I follow a team that's always been shite so it makes no odds to me!

IncludeWomenInTheSequel · 14/02/2021 15:32

@anon444877

All the who wants a holiday stuff always misses too that not everyone has relatives locally. Last year, we met one set of grandparents in Scotland for one week in August - and we've not seen the others since before this time last year, or any aunts, uncles, cousins etc.

Devi, Jason etc they often come across as lacking empathy to me. What's wrong with wanting a holiday anyway? It doesn't make you evil.

No, of course it doesn't.

But it's the trade off that might give you normal daily life. And the thing is if we don't control coronavirus then other countries won't let us in anyway. It isn't all up to us.

DollyMixtureLulus · 14/02/2021 15:43

I'm sure I remember NS saying that holidays re-seeded the virus here. Why why why would we put ourselves through another winter like this for the sake of a week in the sun.

I'd be more than happy for normal life but closed borders. If you're that desperate to go away, quarantine.

Y0uCann0tBeSer10us · 14/02/2021 15:54

As above though, surely most foreign travel is essential business at this point. And there can be no normal life without that. I'm personally not that fussed about a foreign holiday, haven't had one for years, but I do think this focus on holidays is missing the point a bit.

We need to decide what level of control of the virus we want too, and what we're willing to sacrifice to get it. I think everyone would agree that we don't want the NHS to be overwhelmed, but with the vaccination program going well and it moving into Spring and summer this will naturally become less of an issue. We then have the clash of people who want total suppression and will pay a high price for it (like Devi), and others who want the freedom to travel, eat out etc. and are willing to live with higher infection rates to achieve that. I'm not aware of any actual discussion on this point in Scotland (you might even call it a grown up discussion)- there just seems to be blind acceptance that we have to suppress the virus as must as possible, seemingly whatever the cost.

fluffyugg · 14/02/2021 15:55

I'd be happy to not have holidays too if it meant we could get all kids back to school and have hospitality etc up and running again, absolutely.

Rae36 · 14/02/2021 15:56

I just want to see my mum 80 miles away. That seems a long way off right now. My friend's whole family are in the Philippines, she feels she might never see them again, she's so sad. Not everyone wants to travel just for fun in the sun.

IncludeWomenInTheSequel · 14/02/2021 15:58

@Y0uCann0tBeSer10us that's exactly what the Covid-19 committee discusses - I'm joining it this week to discuss the findings of the Citizen's Panel I was part of (really not boasting, I was just picked at random!)

jabbathebutt · 14/02/2021 15:58

on a more positive note, 15m first vaccines is great news!

But I still hate the fact the rest of the population have not been vaccinated is being forgotten in the push to lift things *completely"

Y0uCann0tBeSer10us · 14/02/2021 16:04

@IncludeWomenInTheSequel it's good that someone is considering the tradeoffs - I wish I was invited to do something like that! The public messaging seems to be very much around suppression though, with Devi in particular quite aggressively refuting any suggestion that we might live with the virus. Maybe its because she gets a lot of air time!

Y0uCann0tBeSer10us · 14/02/2021 16:06

@jabbathebutt I wouldn't lift things completely all in one go, but I do think we need some kind of route map out of this. This is simply an unbearable situation for many. Personally, I'd like to be able to visit relatives in England without breaking the law! Not too much to ask is it?

MaxNormal · 14/02/2021 16:09

I'd be more than happy for normal life but closed borders. If you're that desperate to go away, quarantine

My family are all abroad. I haven't seen them for a long time. I accept the fact that is going to go on a while longer but not years.

DH works abroad. He can't afford to quarantine every time he goes away.

Please accept that shut borders will mean anything but a normal life for some of us.

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