The Advent Calendar of doom and gloom from the anti santa..

[WaxOnFeckOff]

Inspired from another thread - messages from the SG behind every door

Day 1. Picture is the inside of a stable - Message reads: Get yet middens clean ya dirty bastards, the 'rona is hiding in yer dirt ...

Over to you...

Day 15 The aforementioned Gaelic Choir soloists are separated each singer into their own hermetically sealed perspex booth to prevent their joyous proclamations being an infection risk.

Bugger... I was day 16 then. Hadn't seen the next page.

Day 17 - the three wise men of the Scottish government.

Oh hang on...

@RaspberryCoulis

Day 17 - the three wise men of the Scottish government.

Oh hang on...

😆😆😆😆 did you mean the one wise woman?!

i'm not contributing as I am rubbish at thinking up funny things so I shall just lurk and laugh

... and their gifts of hand sanitizer, a tartan face mask and a gift voucher for Home Bargains.

Day 19

And the Angel Boris said, ‘Do not be afraid, for I bring tidings of great joy. Unto ye I give five days of Christmas mixing and mingling.‘

Ahem, Day 18?

Or was that just Boris being late as usual?

@Tambourina

Day 19

And the Angel Boris said, ‘Do not be afraid, for I bring tidings of great joy. Unto ye I give five days of Christmas mixing and mingling.‘

Day X? But the anti-Santa replied unto the Angel Boris: 'Over my dead body will there be 5 days of mingling. In Scotland there will be less days than in England as per the law of the SNP'

Day 20(ISH): Santa stands in his now oversized jacket, breeks swamped around his ankles.

It seems that, furloughed and seperated from his candy loving elves, Santa found P.E with Joe Wicks.

Day 21 Angel Forbes sent out an edict to all council areas to get their infection rates in order to be taxed.

Day 22
The anti Santa in tones of incredulity A Manger, you say? With hay?
And just who does this baby Jesus think he is ?
Getting ideas above his station.
He’ll get a baby box just like every other Scottish bairn.

@BusyDreaming

Day 22 The anti Santa in tones of incredulity A Manger, you say? With hay? And just who does this baby Jesus think he is ? Getting ideas above his station. He’ll get a baby box just like every other Scottish bairn.

Like it lol. Day 23 A picture of several individual take-away food boxes containing Christmas Dinner as it were recently decreed that the population of Alba should not share serving spoons.

Day 24: 2 tin buckets and free standing bog roll holder sit neatly in the garden hedge.

After all we can have 3 households in 1 for 5 days but we must remember that sharing a lavvy is not the done thing so Granny Mags will have to enjoy a piss amongst nature.

Day 25- John Swinney in a Christmas hat with his head in his hands, realising that the CfE fails to teach children how many doors are on an advent calendar.

Day 26 we all rush to the online sales. No booze promotions mind, we're Scottish

Day 27 - a bored looking lonely fucking robin © (and misremembered from) someone from the other thread
Because advent, instead of lasting for 24 days is scheduled, in line with the rest of 2020, to last somewhere in the region of 7 and a half years.

😂😂😂😂

Day 28, the excitement of rosy cheeked children opening up their stockings filled with gift vouchers.

day 29, the children toss mince pies at to Granny through the open patio doors

Day 30. The adult children of fertile parents squabble in the garden over who gets to be in granny's festive bauble and who has to watch from afar. Meanwhile grandpa sits outside the (closed) pub waiting forlornly for his mates to come and buy him a festive pint.

You'll have had your turkey.

Day 31: boxing day shopping results in a large human crush as 80% of the Scottish population decides to go shopping simultaneously in order to meet people not in their bubble, indoors.

Day 32 (I assume this goes on indefinitely):

Christmas is banned as per this teatowel:
www.presentindicative.com/products/christmas-is-banned-teatowel?fbclid=IwAR1ea9i-1O0gkYrzwDBy9EYu4F6sW6YAj-0Rhh2v8KeKXK7tg6ff0ggKbmI

Day 33 Our leader’s face is projected onto Arthur’s Seat with halo and “Rejoice!” Logo

Day 34.

Three not so wise men arrive with gifts of a face mask, some hand sanitiser and a £30 fine for nipping across to IKEA.