Moving on up... Uni/CollegeS5/S6/S4/Work

[Groovee]

Hey everyone

It's that time of year... school returns within the next week or 2, others will be preparing to start college or uni. Some will be moving out. Some will start work... so here's the thread for those in that position.

For me Dd is going into second year at Dundee Uni. She did a fantastic first year. She's off to be a mentor to those starting uni this year. Ds has just gone into S6 and has the world to consider in the next year.

Me... I need to find a job after losing my job in June! Done in quite a callous way that I am taking my time to be kind!

We are also St Andrews bound on Saturday. Piles of ‘stuff’ mounting up and lists being ticked off. Part excitement and part apprehension on both our parts I think. We are staying over until Sunday just in case a last minute rush to the shops is needed or she fancies meeting us for lunch on Sunday.

I haven’t seen anything about parents information meetings susiewong I’ll check with my DD. Still struggling with the online matriculation here!

Hi suzie I'm fine, I miss him but have tried not to to contact him too much. He says he will call at some point tomorrow to let me know how he is doing. I'd text him to let him know that DH has broken his hand.

Cat is grumpy as hell and has taken to trying to spend time with DS1 for extra snuggies. But it loves DS2 the best.

DS2 is a more sensitive soul than his brother but I hope he is out enjoying himself and i'm sure if he can get through the first few weeks then he'll be fine. I think freshers is too long without the routine tbh. I'd think that they should have freshers till tomorrow then do their introductory lectures until Friday and start full timetable on Monday.

Good luck to all the next batch who are off this weekend. :)

I haven’t really been keeping up with the thread over summer but I was delighted to read your DS is in Aberdeen WaxOnFeckOff I hope he’s starting to settle in and has a friendly bunch of flatmates.

I think the penny is finally dropping here that these piles of things we’ve accumulated are for a purpose and Saturday is looming fast. I think I’ve been in a bit of denial. I keep telling myself that St Andrews is just a shortish train (and bus!) away from us and she can choose to pop home for a weekend as and when she feels like it.

Like you I feel like freshers week may prove quite difficult because it’s unstructured, over two weekends and my one is not particularly a drinker/partier. She will be looking for music/choir/drama groups to join though so hopefully lots of opportunities to meet new people. I’m hoping for lovely flatmates 🤞🏻

Off to town today for a nice lunch, hair appointment and a bit of clothes shopping.

Sending positive vibes to everyone in the same position.

HotGingerPudding2 hope it goes ok for you and your DD. We live 650 miles south of Edinburgh so aiming to get their Fri afternoon and leave Sunday. St Andrews was DD's firm, so I have to be grateful we have got the extra hour to do.

We've hired a motorhome, so you can imagine the piles here, DD's uni things, our clothes bags and bags of food.

Hotgingerpudding2 DD says most of the party events don't start till past her bedtime. However all the music and drama on offer was one of the attractions for her. She is also threatening to resume her martial arts training which may be good when she no longer has DD2 to spar with incessantly.

She has course meetings on Monday and adviser meeting on Tuesday and other formal stuff interspersed so doesn't sound like there will be much time to be a knotless thread.

She took hours to do on-line matriculation because she is a detail reading freak and also got thoroughly entertained by all the explanatory videos. Spent a lot of the last couple of my weeks sitting on my hands in the background and so far so good. She has friends already settling in for supported entry stuff so again sounds like St A is geared towards getting them all integrated and up and running ASAP.

Laundry management and packing schedule in full swing here.

Iirc, there were a few things that ds needed to do during Freshers Week, so it is not totally structureless - just that he needed to choose for himself when he should do them (eg register with a GP, sort out monthly payment for his halls).

It's also worth checking the reading list. There was one book on the history reading list that was difficult to get hold of, even though the Uni book shop tries hard to ensure that it has sufficient stocks for each subject's reading lists. (Book was "Barbarism and Civilization: A History of Europe in Our Time" and it was between re-prints )

@HotGingerPudding2 yes the on line matriculation was detailed so took a while! It may only be some courses that have the parents meeting and in fact we’re now thinking of not staying for ours (it’s at 3:30 on Sunday). Going to see how it all goes. DS might be happier if we’ve gone home by then ! We’re only 1 1/2 hrs away so can decide on the day.
Glad to hear you’re doing ok @WaxOnFeckOff but sorry to hear about your DHs broken hand - suppose it’s something else to concentrate on though ? ! I know I’ll need to try and not contact DS too much once he’s away but he’s knows what I’m like so hoping for at least the occassional text ! It’s hard letting go ....
Packing on the go here too ... vacuum packed the bedding & towels tonight - brilliant invention !! And decided we’d need roof box on car so DH sorting that now ! DS on the other hand it out tonight , tomorrow & Friday night !!

susie he's driving me demented (DH not DS), he injured his shoulder 3 weeks ago and been off work, was due to go back next week but fell going up the stairs, put his hand out to stop himself but fell on it onto the wooden edge bit that goes up the stairs, complicated twisted fracture in two places and now signed off for another month! He can't drive so has DS1 and I ferrying him about everywhere to all his appointments!

Spoke to DS2 today - he's been out and about quite a bit, sometimes with flat mates (another 3 blokes and 1 girl), sometimes with others he's met, bumped into some other people from high school and hung around with them a bit (they weren't people he knew very well) and then bumped into some of DS1s friends too. Hasn't done many things he is supposed to do and hasn't eaten much, says one day he just had apples!! . He seemed quite chipper and hasn't even switched on his PC or connected it. He's sussed out where the laundry is and is down to 1 pair of jeans so is going to do some tomorrow.

Everyone sounds in full swing with arrangements! The motorhome sounds a brilliant idea ifonly4 We had to book a hotel in Dundee as we couldn’t get anything in St Andrews for a sensible price despite looking in February.

Can I ask whether your understanding about accommodation fees is the same as mine ifonly4 howabout and susiewong?We are having an issue with setting up payment instalments (and seem to be going round in tortuous circles online!). My DD has emailed Finance but just got back a standard reply not actually answering the question. So as it stands she has an invoice pending for the full £8000+ fees payable next week. Not ideal. From the website it seems as though payment by instalment equates to two equal chunks, one next week and one in January. There doesn’t appear to be any other option available that I can see.

I would feel much happier getting this sorted before the weekend if possible so may have to resort to phoning today.

WaxOnFeckOff That is such a shame about your husband’s hand. Sometimes I think you just couldn’t make these things up. Awful, particularly following another injury. I hope his recovery is straightforward and in the meantime you are not driven mad with all the ferrying around!
It sounds as though your son has the social side sussed but the feeding himself part needs some work! The important bit is that he seems happy and that’s what we all wish for.
Today, I’ll be washing new bedding and giving laundry lessons! I have fairly high hopes as it was an A award for ironing and my basket has been clear ever since. I’m glad she’s catered though as the meal repertoire is pretty limited!

@HotGingerPudding2 we went for the 3 instalments & paid the first last week. Next due in January then last one in April. Paid on line so was easy enough. Although when DS did on line matriculation it should the finance section as pending. Got him to check the other day but it still said pending. I’m assuming it will update once he registers on Monday. I’ve got my receipt copied just in case !! Will try & find the website paid I clicked through on ...

@HotGingerPudding2

www.st-andrews.ac.uk/students/money/fees/howareyoupaying/payingtheuniversity/payingaccommodationfees/homestudent-fullyearoronesemester/accommodationfeeshomestudent/accommodationfeeshomestudentinstalments/instalments-cardpayment/#d.en.87538

@WaxOnFeckOff glad your DS is out & about meeting folks. He’ll soon get fed up of apples I’m sure 😂.
Hope your DH finds something useful to keep him occupied without being too much of a pest !
DS has finally started packing & wants to iron the last wash - says he needs to practise ! Better late than never i suppose 😂

Thanks ladies, sounds like all the preparations are ramping up!

I'm now thinking that the day of apples might be code for just having cider all day - he didn't say that the apples were in their natural state...

He does like apples and we did buy some and he did promise to keep eating fruit while he was away so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

How often are you all thinking that contact should be? I'm thinking that unless we have anything particular to talk about, we should have a regular weekly call and obvs any texts or messages in between? Does that sound about right?

Good luck with that. Ds refused to have Facebook calls - even on his birthday - but we do get regular WhatsApp communications to both of us/his dad/me. The former two are usually almost all rugby related

He hates phone calls but communicate quite well on WhatsApp even though that's not the same

Aye, we'll see! :o

He is quite good at doing texts, but if I use messenger then he doesn't answer for a long time as he doesn't have the separate app and says he doesn't have whatsapp. It's all about insta I think but wont add me to that either. So it was him that said he would call...

I don't think video calling in any format would be a go-er either. :(

Hi all, just catching up, I've not been on for a while, not sure if it was ok as Dd is at college, not Uni?
Wax, glad the mive went smoothly.

Dd is doing well, loving college, has made friends and is quite settled where she lives, though she still wants to move out of there.
She comes over once a week or so, she was here last night and we're spending the day together at the SECC on Saturday.
So far, so good.

We're not allowed near him on Insta either not that I can get it on my current phone

WhatsApp does work well - much better/quicker than Messenger (maybe because of the "ping") so try to persuade him to put it in his phone.

Or try WhatsApping him anyway, in case he's already on but just not telling you

Brillo, the title says it all Moving on up... Uni/CollegeS5/S6/S4/Work

This is for all of us with DC at the stages of moving forward from childhood to adulthood :)

Really glad to hear that college has started well, I still remember when you were at the stage of her not being happy in high school (unless I've muddled you up) and now look where she is :)

pb definitely can't find him on whatsapp but then I only do the basics on there.

Hotgingerpudding we went for 2 instalments so DH could put it on his credit card rather than direct debit.

DD1 has promised to text goodnight to DD3 (only 8) so that will probably be her check in. Her and DD2 (only a year younger than her) are also a bit co-dependent so will likely be in permanent on-line bicker mode.

It is me who refuses to be on-call for FB or mobile or whatsapp etc but playing hard to get with them generally works.

Mine both have multiple insta etc accounts - some for friends, some for public profile, some I can access and some I can't. So glad neither of them had a phone till they were 16 as I have no idea how anyone realistically would have kept an eye on it all.

Yes, of course it says college too, I've even posted before.
I think that's my anxiety hitting again.

Aww, hope I didn't add to it with my answer, it wasn't meant to be cheeky brillo, I often post on threads I'm regularly on but no longer read the top anymore.

Thanks susiewong and howabout for that link and info.
I must say I find the payment side really unclear. Naively, I assumed you would initially select an instalment plan (monthly would have been best to coincide with SAAS payments) and then set up the DD or bank transfer. Instead, we are billed the whole amount, and the only options if you don’t pay in full by next week are 2 equal payments, the first one next week and the second in January or 3 instalments of 30%, 30% and 40% are possible only if you use a debit card and subsequent payments are taken automatically from that card. We are opting for the 3 instalments on the basis that where else would you pay so many months up front for accommodation? And it’s up to us to calculate the first instalment due rather than being billed! I find it a bizarre system to be honest. It really doesn't create any link between the SAAS loan and paying accommodation costs. Rather than topping up my DDs student account for the difference in SAAS loan and accommodation, and adding a living allowance, we’ll have to get her to transfer some of her SAAS payment to us as that will be paid directly to her each month. It really seems topsy turvey to me.

The Aberdeen one seemed to be set up in 3 installments. It said you could opt for a regular DD instead but I thought it easier just to pay the first lot before he left, the 2nd is due by the end of January so we'll do that when he is home and I can't remember when the 3rd one is but hopefully that will coincide with Easter holidays and I will pay that then.

I'm sure it seems straightforward to whoever designed the systems but everything seems overly complex and confusing.

My DD2 graduated this year. She is back home for a while and is working in a bar until she figures out what she does next.

Holy crap it is hard having her back at home! She is quiet and helpful around the house but i am just not used to sharing my space anymore.

You miss them so much when they go then find it hard when they return.

I think my job is done - she needs a job and independence and i need my house back!