Starting Uni - The next chapter

[Groovee]

So results day is here and I knew it would happen but in just over 3 weeks Dd will be moving to Dundee.

Thought I would start a thread to get us through those moments that we as parents find hard.

thanks everyone - had this discussion with my DH last night and i think he's probably more of the "need a text every day" point of view but i think that's a bit much. guess it does partly depend how she gets on with her flatmates/whether she makes friends early on.

she's due to come home 3 weeks after she leaves for a party and he has agreed that we should probably try and leave her alone till then so she has a chance to find her feet.

How is it 8 days until Dd moves?

Her bf is being a pain about her moving.

She's the youngest out her flat mates but they seem to be getting on well so far.

Still got stuff to buy her though.

Sorry I haven't had time to read the full threat so someone may have suggested this.

But just in case they haven't. Can I suggest buying a prepaid prescription certificate if she's not entitled to free medication. Read some ghastly stories about students running out of money and not being able to cash prescriptions and being very ill.

lemonsorbetinthesun
This shouldn't happen in Scotland though, as we have free prescriptions.

Oh right! Sorry didn't read that. Happens in England unfortunately as we don't have free prescriptions!

Yeah we are very fortunate. Asked Dd what the situation is about changing GP's etc and she shrugged!

Goodness knows how she can educate children when she can't educate herself 😂

On the health subject and following on from the Men Vac question. DD1 had precautionary treatment for suspected sepsis. Despite loads of tests they still don't know the underlying trigger. Make sure teens are aware of what to look out for and when to seek medical advice even although they are up to date on all their vaccines - they are susceptible because they are away from home, under stress, mixing with lots of new people from all over the place in close quarters, burning the candle at both ends, drinking and eating the wrong things etc etc etc.

My Cousin is a Campus nurse. She is usually the first port of call and AFAIK there should be a service on all campuses.

Do you think the romance will survive the transition Groovee?

@howabout it's survived him being 3 months abroad. They FaceTimed a lot and she's only an hour away. But you never know.

Dd is using her rail card today. Phone call "how do I use the railcard?"

This is after she woke me at 5am looking to get in as she couldn't open the door.

Turns out at 10am that she has lost her bag (actually left it at a taxi rank) and fortunately the police station had it!

Mega shop today for bedding, laundry bag and other things like hangers for the wardrobes and over the door hangers too.

Still not finished.

However I put the duvet cover on the duvet and then the pillow cases on the pillow and packed them.

Not long to go! Where did you get the laundry bag from Groovee? Good idea re duvet (need to buy one first, using Nectar points! ).

Getting organised here too although I'm sure we're missing something! My DS' task for tonight is to get his duvet and pillows ready too ☺️

Primark had some. She got a pop up thing. But they had some nice bags.

Just thought if she only has her mattress topper and sheet to put on it would make it more like home.

I did an IKEA trip today although it was nearly aborted before I'd even got 1/2 a mile from the house - got 2 of the blue IKEA bags as laundry bags.

I was very lucky to avoid murdering my currently not so very darling son

Is anyone else having challenges with major snash and attitude from their offspring?

It's got so bad we've arranged for his aunt (who he likes and respects) to come over tonight to have a word with him

We've been ok. Apart from the drunken escapades from Friday night 🤭. She left work on Friday and I think a week's downtime may be doing her good.

No snash from D'S but then he is staying at home so has more interest in maintaining a harmonious household. My guess pb would be either that he is having last minute jitters and this is his way of coping or that it's nature's way of allowing you both to look forward to him leaving and to enjoy the peace of not having to deal with each other for a few weeks.... by which time he'll be settled in! Hope the chat goes well.

I spent bank holiday Monday with DS sorting out his wardrobe, ditching all his uniform and organising his new student uniform of jeans, t shirts and hoodies. Got him new trainers which are a bit bouncier than his old ones and which have the unfortunate side effect of making him even taller to the point where his head was brushing the roof of the train when waiting to get off!

Wax - I think it's mostly the latter, as I'll be glad to see the back of him by Sunday actually I will miss him

I think there is a degree of nerves on his part but he denies it. He claims that he just doesn't know what he needs to do/get organised - but refuses to acknowledge that he is refusing to let us help ("You don't know anything" ) and we have arguments every time we try

I went away to Uni, so I do have some experience (an East Coast Uni too so I know about the cold wind ). Dh and I both, as adults , have some experience about what utensils are needed in an unequipped kitchen

He's refused to engage with us, beyond a very short list he sent me (after nagging him) about the things he thinks he needs - but is now complaining that I've gone ahead (less than a week before he goes) with starting to put together some boxes with stuff for him to take. "I've not talked to him about it"

I've been trying to talk to him and don't want to be trying to get everything together the night before. So yes, I did just get started putting some things together from my own kitchen cupboards.

He's also being an arse about his finances and refuses to let us sit down with him to work out a budget. Even getting copies from him of the student loan and bursary awards (dh and I have been living off savings while we try to sort out a new direction for ourselves - but ds has never gone without maybe he should have ) so that we can understand what and when he gets his money and whether we need to subsidise him temporarily results in fights. At least I've managed to find out that he can pay his rent monthly - but it's up to him to fill out the paperwork and I don't know if he's done that

.....and breeeeeaaaaathe

I am having to weigh carefully every word I say to ds so I don't set him off - he and dh have had arguments more days that not at the moment so I am trying to maintain the peace! I know he's scared- not so much about living away (we're less than 1 hour away so expect him home reasonably often - although less than dh wants/expects!) but of the actual workload. I've asked him to make sure he lets us know if things are getting too much as we won't be around to notice he's gone quiet and stopped eating (which is what happened when his AH work was all due in S6...)
Finances - I have asked him many times to download the d/d form to pay halls monthly but not done yet. Budget - warned him that if he spends it all at once he'll have nothing left but he has savings from working so he's not bothered.
We have a pile of stuff ready to go - dh did the Ikea trip with him - they were not talking by the end - but you've reminded me I need to get the pillows out of the linen cupboard!

I'm glad that we're not the only ones suffering

Good point about concern own out the potential workload. I have no idea whether ds gas downloaded the dd forms (I've told him he needs to organise monthly payments). I'll risk being shouted at again ask him If push comes to shove, we can sort it when we're up there.

Dh and I are sharing the pain load: he's done the PC shopping with ds, I've been doing the IKEA/Tesco/Sainsbury's shops. (We'll do a Lidl shop when we're up there on Sunday). I think I've got the worse deal

Maybe the stroppiness is a function of the subject our dses gave chosen to do - naturally argumentative (Doesn't help that dh is on a short fuse at the moment too )

After all the hassle before even getting to IKEA yesterday (he refused to get out the car, so I ended up dragging him to Sainsbury's first deliberately the one in the opposite direction and then actually driving home, before he got distressed because he thought he was running out of time turned out he thought it was Wednesday so I agreed to go back to IKEA), we then had a very pleasant conversation over meatballs & chips (just coffee for me) after completing our shopping (only spent £50 - and that included an orchid for me! ), discussing cities that are on the sea, BRICS and whether they would want the UK to join (No ), and how any country is only a few bad decisions away from disaster or decline (Venezuela, Argentina) Go figure

It feels like the pile gets bigger and bigger!

@prettybird I could have written your post about my DS...

He's now panicking about packing but is too busy attending "leaving parties" (I met him at 5am this morning in the kitchen, I was seeing to a howling dog and he was just coming in...). So I've filled a box of kitchen stuff for him and have laid out some Ikea bags, I'm not planning to do anything else and fully expect the car to be packed and ready to go on Saturday morning.... watch out for flying pigs!

Budget chat is a no-go zone but I am not giving him a penny more than we've agreed (his dad has laid it out on a spreadsheet which he hasn't looked at 😐)

You've no idea how reassuring this is!

Ds seems a bit more relaxed this afternoon having gone with dh to but a new laptop and printer today probably helped

I did risk getting my head bitten off to ask about whether he'd organised monthly payment for his rent. He said (remarkably pleasantly ) he was going to do that today or tomorrow we'll see

The in laws have kindly bought Dd a laptop. She's setting it up and it's talking her through the set up. It knows Dd so well.

She said farewell to our brownies and burst into tears at brownie bells. Going to really miss her at brownies.

Dh's mum is paying for the laptop for ds' 18th (which he will celebrate up in Aberdeen, away from us ).

I'm sure all her brownies will remember your dd fondly Groovee It will be a special memory for her.

Ds got a card today from the U15 team that he has coached since they were in S1 and he himself was only in S4 (the lead coach on paper wasn't around as his son was seriously I'll for the 1st half of the season). He's going to miss their 1st league game of the season on Sunday. They should have had a game last Sunday but Glasgow Hawk's Youth section folded over the summer and that was who we were due to play.