Starting Uni - The next chapter

[Groovee]

So results day is here and I knew it would happen but in just over 3 weeks Dd will be moving to Dundee.

Thought I would start a thread to get us through those moments that we as parents find hard.

Ds tells me that the options open early for PIR at Aberdeen so he is currently "in a queue" to pick them. @Haggisaggis - presumably your ds is also having to choose.

Ds has come down to tell me he got it wrong and it only opens on Thursday. But it has meant that he has now taken time to look at the different choices and is going to go away and write down the different options so that he is ready to make his choices as soon as it opens on Thursday.

ds - when I managed to get hold of him (he is working extra hours to get some more cash before uni, and also seeing his girlfriend as much as possible so I barely see him!) - does appear to have his option choices in hand - much to my surprise! He seems to be chatting a lot to one of the guys in his flat so seems fairly well on top of things. dh did the obligatory Ikea run with him yesterday - so stuff now starting to pile up.

Ds has changed his story again about when he can make his choices and has now chosen and submitted his options. He's effectively doing PPE with his options. In addition to his compulsory PIR sessions, he's also doing Philosophy (Controversial Questions) and Economics (Business) and in the second session is choosing the "other" Philosophy and I think it was Sociology.

To give him his due, he did get me to check the timetable to confirm that it was balanced time wise. He's made sure not to have an early start on Monday (in case he's come back down to Glasgow) and he finishes early on a Friday (which will also be useful if he's wanting to come down). He's ended up being totally free on a Wednesday - which he's happy with as he can concentrate on his sport then. He's also think of trying to get a job that morning not sure he's going to find anything that specific

Wigglybeezer. My son is off to St Andrews too. Not getting much info from him. Do we need to buy a red gown for starting, for the procession?

Dd has done nothing! Seriously in 2 weeks time I think she will have a huge shock.

Unless things have changed drastically, you definitely don't need to buy him a gown before term starts. He can then see if he wants one (they're not cheap) and maybe see if he can get one second hand. Even the pier walk on a Sunday - which is itself optional - not everyone wears a gown. I'm not and never have been a church goer, so I used to go along (with friends) occasionally and join them as they came out of Sallies Chapel.

Thank you prettybird. As he's an atheist I don't think he'll be attending Church😬 Good idea about buying the gown second hand, as I think they need them for other events?

They don't need them for any events but they're nice to have as they're part of the Uni tradition. At least, they weren't needed in my time in my halls (John Burnett) - others might encourage them more strongly.

I'm an atheist too but it was still good fun to tag along on the pier walk on a Sunday after the service (plus it meant you didn't have to get up so early ). Just don't do it when it is windy!

Unfortunately, I lost my gown during one of my house moves a few years after graduating

Hi 1nutcracker, my boy will be studying history and is a bit old-fashioned so he will enjoy having a gown and granny will probably insist on paying for it so he's going to try and get a second hand one. I don't think you NEED one though, I noticed on the open day that there seemed to be a communal rack of gowns for the student ambassadors to wear as needed.

Dd1 just got all her freshers week stuff and things about enrolment - it's all starting to seem real now (she still can hardly believe she got in!!). It's all a bit all over the place because of the GSA fire, the student association as well as the design school which is her building are still behind the cordon while they make the 'mack' safe. It seems pretty well organised though. She loved the list of clubs and societies!
Still can't believe that's the first one off to Uni!

can i ask for those of you whose kids are moving out, how much are you planning/expecting them to keep in touch?

DD's not moving that far away but she's going into halls partly to get that "going to uni" experience/some independence. I'm quite relaxed about only seeing her once a month or so (or even less if she wants) but think i may need to manage some extended family members' expectations! both in terms of seeing her but also the extent to which DH and I are keeping track of her.

social media/mobile phones have obv changed things a lot since i went to uni... but i was similar, where i didn't move that far away and then ended up coming home most weekends to work so i never really "went away" - i'd like her to get the chance to get away properly.

My DD isn't starting uni (she's going into 3rd year) but her 1st year she was home quite a lot, home every holiday and a few long weekends because she had to come home for dermatology apps. She didn't settle well and hated her halls so we visited often too. 2nd year was totally different as she moved into a flat with her friends from school so she never came home apart from xmas and I got a message once in a blue moon!

Knowing Dd she'll expect me to snapchat.

When she was in Greece in June she text every day.

So as long as I get the streaks snapchat, I'll know she's still alive.

strum I was similar when I "went away" to Uni. My folks didn't keep tabs on me because I had quite close relationships with extended family independent of them. It is a nice thing as a proper grown up to be able to turn up at your Grannie / Uncle / Aunt unannounced any time you need a square meal / shoulder to cry on / washing machine without your parents always knowing your business.

If you can engineer that with extended family then that's what I recommend. When I properly flew the nest to London after Uni I used to practice my WP skills in my lunch hour writing long letters to keep my Grannie entertained and stop me feeling so homesick.

Have started the shopping. Said a blunt no to things that are not essentials!

Trying to buy a railcard and it's a blinking nightmare! The site is awful.

I'm not expecting ds to check in with is that often - but his cousin is in her 4th year at Aberdeen and will keep an eye on him. Dh is more concerned than me he didn't go away to Uni and I think is gearing up his niece to mollycoddle her cousin

Ds may come down once or twice per semester - suspect more frequently before Christmas but it will then tail off. Part of that depends on how he gets on with Uni rugby/senior rugby in Aberdeen - otherwise he might come down to continue to play for the U18 team here.

That's based on my assessment of his character and how I was when I went off to Uni. I was pleased that I knew no-one going to that Uni and had to make the effort to make new friends. But it was also St Andrews and very intense so I did need to get away every so often.

But he's in a 5 person flat and not catered halls (as I was: so easy access to c200 people) so it may depend on how he melds with his flat mates.

We're also expecting to go back up to Aberdeen within a few weeks to take up things he's forgotten more stuff

I used to get regular letters from my mum and occasionally my dad - but they were used to writing as their parents were in SA. I also got regular phone calls - which in the days before mobile phones, involved someone in the main hall hearing the pay phone going and then going along to my room to get me - It me making sure I was around when I thought my mum might call. At least that side of things has got easier.

I don't think my DS will be in contact very often - maybe a text once a week! He has a few reasons to come home within the first couple of weeks (parties etc) but he's going to try to stay away as otherwise he thinks he'll want to come home all the time (and I agree). His paternal grandparents spend quite a bit of time in Aberdeen and I think they're expecting him to hang out with them - I think he'll go out for his tea with them but that will be about it.

You're a bit closer to Aberdeen superjaggy so I can see why it will be important to resist the temptation. It's going to cost ds too much to keep coming down to Glasgow but I'll have to stop dh from keeping on offering to pay

Dh is the one who says I spoil ds, yet I am the one who says he's going to have to live on a budget

We saw dd on our way to our holiday the weekend after we dropped her off and I saw her on my way to a weekend with friends a couple of weeks after that. We also saw her in late October as we were in Glasgow for a concert but she didn't come home at all in the first term and only once in the second term - for a concert.

We did text each night - that was for me to check she was still alive ! as neither dh or I have any social media. She also had phone number of an aunt and uncle but she didn't go to visit them at all. I have encouraged her to go to see them a little more often this year as they are getting elderly and it would be a nice thing to do.

We will text each night once she goes back - or at least I will text to say goodnight and hope for a response !

By the way - would recommend Santander 123 account with the free 16 -25 railcard

DD is off a week on Saturday! I am hoping she will keep in touch daily or at least several times a week by text or WhatsApp (we have various different family WhatsApp groups). She's not great on the phone unless she needs moneysomething urgently.

Like others I'm hoping she doesn't come home too often and make it a habit but I'm expecting her to miss her friends. I would hope to see her before the end of September though!

Does anyone know if teenagers will have been vaccinated with MenACWY at school? My mum mentioned it recently and I've seen it on a couple of threads here recently. DD doesn't know, I asked her to find out last time she was at doctors but she forgot and not sure they will tell me if I phone due to patient confidentiality?!

Mine have both had MenACWY at school (they are 15 and 17). I think it was in S3.

I think Dd had hers at school. I remember there being a catch up.

Thanks both!