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A place for stay at home mums and dads to discuss life as a full-time parent.

Original poster

Partner will not help financially:(

82 replies

Zaramcdhy · 26/04/2019 21:22

Hi guys, so I really need some advice. I have been with my partner for approx 4 years, we live together and I have one son (partner not bio father). We both work full time and earn approx the same each month. My partner does not contribute properly financially towards household costs, I pay all rent, council tax, gas & elec, tv, childcare! My partner pays around 250 pound per month (my car and insurance payment) and sometimes contributes towards food. In total my outgoings per month are around 850 pounds and I am seriously struggling. He owns an expensive sports car which on top of the finance payment costs around 350 pounds per month in fuel! He continuously runs out of money before next payday and looks to me for money and stupidly I have been allowing this. I’ve tried everything to make him see this is not fair and I cannot continue to live like this but he will not change, he promises to but then doesn’t. The house is in my name as I cannot trust him enough financially to do this joint. what would you do in my position?

OP posts:
BlessYourCottonSocks · 26/04/2019 21:27

Kick him out. He is the epitome of 'cock lodger'.

Bluntness100 · 26/04/2019 21:28

Have you not posted about this before?

Mintandthyme · 26/04/2019 21:28

Get rid of him
And be very thankful you haven’t had a child with him

Aquamarine1029 · 26/04/2019 21:29

Show. Him. The. Door. Immediately and permanently. You already KNOW you need to end this pointless relationship, so just get on with it already. You will be so much happier.

NorthEndGal · 26/04/2019 21:30

Put him out, he isn't contributing, money wise or other ways

7yo7yo · 26/04/2019 21:30

I’m sure I’ve read this before.
Or it maybe one of the many many threads where the op is supporting a cock lodger.
Kick him out.

Longdistance · 26/04/2019 21:32

Dump his arse. He’s a cocklodger ie; he’s poncing off you.
What he pays to household costs is minimal and he’s taking the piss.

PennyB40 · 26/04/2019 21:33

You’d probably have more money if you kicked him out and then you could claim top up tax credits or UC depending on your income.
You are giving him money that you could be spending on your child, honestly being single is not that bad!

Quartz2208 · 26/04/2019 21:33

Just get rid of him - he is costing you money

Original poster
Zaramcdhy · 26/04/2019 21:33

Hi, no I’ve never posted before xx

OP posts:
sallievp · 26/04/2019 21:36

Get rid! What a loser.
Think of your child...is this man a role model you want for them?

Unburnished · 26/04/2019 21:36

How did you come to live together? What was his situation before? Do you think you’ve been used while he feathers his own nest or does he talk about commitment, marriage and children?

Whatever the answer, I’d ask him to leave as, well, what is the point of him? He’s like a very expensive pet.

user1493413286 · 26/04/2019 21:37

He should be paying half of rent and bills (not necessarily childcare I guess) otherwise he is taking advantage and I’d be showing him the door

Asvan · 26/04/2019 21:40

He's a waste of space OP, get rid of him. He sounds so selfish if he thinks he can get away with contributing £250 per month. Even students pay more than this to stay in student accommodation! You are not his mother and he is not your problem. Kick him out and he will realise exactly how far his poxy £250 will get him.

Absolutepowercorrupts · 26/04/2019 21:41

Tell him to leave, chuck him out, get rid of him. He's not a partner he's a sponging arsehole.
You can't change his behaviour you can only change yours, there are people who, if you give them an inch they'll take a mile. He's taking about 50 miles.

AdaColeman · 26/04/2019 21:42

Get rid of him, or he will suck you dry before he moves onto the next soft touch.
Oh, and stop thinking of him as your partner, he isn't, he's your millstone.

Original poster
Zaramcdhy · 26/04/2019 21:55

Thanks guys. I kind of knew that would be the response I just needed a little reassurance from other woman I guess. I’ve asked him to leave several times and he always cries and makes me feel guilty, he tells me he does contribute and he tries his best and he isn’t a bad person etc! He refuses to leave and says he has no where else to go and makes me feel bad that I don’t have a choice but to let him stay :/ same thing again today I asked him to leave and he refused to go and has sat in my sons bedroom all night (before cooking himself some tea from the shopping I just bought)!

OP posts:
Mintandthyme · 26/04/2019 22:01

WTF??
Tell him to go sleep in his car
Your poor son having to put up with this.

madcatladyforever · 26/04/2019 22:01

Get rid of that piece of sponging shit. Having been there I can promise you it will never get better.

Original poster
Zaramcdhy · 26/04/2019 22:02

I forgot to say my son isn’t home tonight he is with dad otherwise I wouldn’t have allowed him to be in his room.

OP posts:
TixieLix · 26/04/2019 22:02

Where was he living before he moved in to yours? Has he got family nearby? If all else fails he can live in his expensive sports car. Or sell it for a rental deposit Grin.

Hearhere · 26/04/2019 22:05

He's playing you for a fool, I'm embarrassed for you
get rid

AnyFucker · 26/04/2019 22:07

Let him sleep in his money sucking car

Come on love, stop being a complete mug

Aquamarine1029 · 26/04/2019 22:09

Call the police and have them remove him. Then change the locks. This is your home, not his and he can't be there if you don't allow it. It's time to put on your big girl pants and deal with this.

EKGEMS · 26/04/2019 22:12

What a despicable waste of space! He can go sleep on a park bench!

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