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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Partner messaging sex workers

88 replies

JennyStr · 09/05/2023 07:18

I met my partner 7 years ago, together for 3. We got engaged last year. I am totally devoted to him and we had out entire future planned. I trusted him 100% and never felt the need to snoop on his phone, until now. He had became very protective of his phone, would throw it down when I walked into the room and would spend long periods in the toilet with it and instantly be active on WhatsApp. He would quickly swipe away notifications if I was sitting close enough to be able to see them. So I went through his phone and found several numbers, some unsaved and some saved in his contacts as random letter combinations. I done some digging and found at least 6 were prostitutes. He refused to admit it and said it was from his past but recently I caught him red handed sending a WhatsApp message to a prostitute directly from a well known escort website

He swears he only sent a message and has never and would never go through with it, the fact that he searched her out and sent the message has broken me, regardless of whether or not he's actually slept with them. He's had several traumas over the 3 years we've been together and I've been right by his side the whole time sometimes to the detriment of my own mental healhy. If you don't take the above into account he is the perfect partner. Loving, patient, mild mannered, gentle, thoughtful, caring and our sex life is fantastic. I've always been very open to new things in that sense. I'm 100% honest with him, and have never lied to him about anything in the entire time we've been together. Our while future was planned, every aspect of our life is built around my partner and I. I absolutely adore this man and am totally devastated by this. I know that what he is doing and how it's made me feel is so wrong, and there is no excuse for this. You don't do this people who you love and you especially shouldn't lie to people who trust you. It's still very raw as only happened recently and I'm still trying to wrap my head around it, I cannot believe this has happened and cannot understand why he could even bare to look me in the eye knowing this has been going on behind my back. I'm not even angry, I'm hurt, sad, lost, heartbroken. I'm 43 years of age and was abused severely for all of my adult life and my partner Is the polar opposite of my ex who put me through hell. I don't know what to do now, I only have him and when I feel rotten he's the only person who can make me feel better. It's difficult to turn to him for comfort when he's the one who caused this pain. He works hard, we both do, we support each other. He makes no demands of me, doesn't get angry about anything, he's understanding, caring, funny, and I feel so loved by him every moment of every day so to find this out has completely turned my entire life upside down and I don't even know how to start getting over this.
I guess what I'm asking is if anyone else has been this or similar? What did you decide to do? Did you leave? Did you give him another chance? Did it work out? Did he stop or do men who do this ever stop or do they just get better at hiding it. He doesn't go out drinking with friends, he spend every moment when he's not at work with me, makes effort to spend time with me and go places and do things. He's the very opposite of the kind of partner that ant woman would expect to be doing this. I feel so dirty and worthless and keep asking myself what I'm doing wrong that he's turning to this.

OP posts:
JamSandle · 09/05/2023 07:21

Do not marry him!

JennyStr · 09/05/2023 07:23

PARTNER, NOT PARENTS MY MISTAKE and I can't figure out how to edit

OP posts:
ArcticSkewer · 09/05/2023 07:26

I'm really sorry you are going through this.

I know exactly what you mean about wanting to turn to the very person who hurt you for comfort. But it's not good to have just one person. How about friends and family? Build up new friend connections if you don't have any currently (I hope this isn't connected to your partner driving old friends away).

You know he will continue to see prostitutes. I wouldn't accept it.

MegaClutterSlut · 09/05/2023 07:26

First thing I will say none of this is your fault, this is all him. Personally I wouldn't be able to get over this, everytime he went on his phone or spent longer in the bathroom would make me a paranoid wreck. That's no way to live

JennyStr · 09/05/2023 07:27

That's definitely off the cards. I know deep down what I have to do, but I also needed to write this down somewhere and to have people to talk with about this, other than him I have nobody to confide in

OP posts:
Lovingitallnow · 09/05/2023 07:28

It would be a no for me.

DustyLee123 · 09/05/2023 07:29

Get an STI check and get rid of him.

JennyStr · 09/05/2023 07:30

I have many friends I just don't really confide in them, I'm not one for taking especially about emotional or relationship issues, I like to be private. He hasn't stopped me having friends, he is thr very opposite of someone who would do that, I guess it's the reason why I'm in such a mess, I didn't see this coming, not from him

OP posts:
beenwhereyouare · 09/05/2023 07:30

I'm so very sorry that you're hurting- I don't have any relevant advice to give. But I couldn't just keep scrolling without saying this:

You're not the one doing anything wrong.

supercali77 · 09/05/2023 07:31

I'm really sorry but as the old saying goes 'it's not the first time he lied its just the first time he got caught'. If you want to know whether to trust him, think about how he was the first time you saw the contact numbers. He minimised it and said it was from the past. Then you find out it isn't in the past. This is how he did it before - Hide it and then minimise when caught. So you cannot trust him when he says it was 'only' messaging. And even if it was, this is still a betrayal.

You cant rely on him fundamentally changing, he's not been honest and he's continued to deceive. Are you happy to live a life where you can't trust the man you're with.

JennyStr · 09/05/2023 07:32

Thank you for being kind. The logical part of me knows this is not a "me issue", he's done wrong by me. The emotional side of me keeps asking why I'm not good enough, and how awful must I be if he's willing to seek out other women to buy sex.

OP posts:
JennyStr · 09/05/2023 07:33

Thank you for taking the time much appreciated

OP posts:
HairyFarnbarn · 09/05/2023 07:34

This is not your fault. But you cannot allow it to continue. Leave him.

RuthTopp · 09/05/2023 07:37

Sorry , but this would be the end of the road for me. All trust is gone and there is no going back. Even if he promised it was a blip , or just looking , how could you forgive him ?
Concentrate on your children and tell him he needs to leave to give you space.

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 09/05/2023 07:40

It's not that you are lacking in any way shape or form, it's that he is seeking this out in spite of the huge risk to your health if he did go through with it. HE is lacking, not you.

JennyStr · 09/05/2023 07:44

You're right, the sense of wellbeing you have when you 100% trust your partner is an absolute condition for me. I can't go back to the constant worry always wondering where he is who he's with what he's doing on his phone. I went through it in my previous relationship and tortured myself with having to keep digging to know every little detail which of course made me feel even worse.
The difference Is that my ex was never trustworthy, he was the definition of a narcissist, and physically violent, but I expected it of him and it never came as any great shock when I found him with yet another side bit. I think that's why it's shook me so badly with my current partner , I didn't see this coming, it didn't occure to me that he could be even remotely capable of this

OP posts:
JennyStr · 09/05/2023 07:46

JennyStr · 09/05/2023 07:18

I met my partner 7 years ago, together for 3. We got engaged last year. I am totally devoted to him and we had out entire future planned. I trusted him 100% and never felt the need to snoop on his phone, until now. He had became very protective of his phone, would throw it down when I walked into the room and would spend long periods in the toilet with it and instantly be active on WhatsApp. He would quickly swipe away notifications if I was sitting close enough to be able to see them. So I went through his phone and found several numbers, some unsaved and some saved in his contacts as random letter combinations. I done some digging and found at least 6 were prostitutes. He refused to admit it and said it was from his past but recently I caught him red handed sending a WhatsApp message to a prostitute directly from a well known escort website

He swears he only sent a message and has never and would never go through with it, the fact that he searched her out and sent the message has broken me, regardless of whether or not he's actually slept with them. He's had several traumas over the 3 years we've been together and I've been right by his side the whole time sometimes to the detriment of my own mental healhy. If you don't take the above into account he is the perfect partner. Loving, patient, mild mannered, gentle, thoughtful, caring and our sex life is fantastic. I've always been very open to new things in that sense. I'm 100% honest with him, and have never lied to him about anything in the entire time we've been together. Our while future was planned, every aspect of our life is built around my partner and I. I absolutely adore this man and am totally devastated by this. I know that what he is doing and how it's made me feel is so wrong, and there is no excuse for this. You don't do this people who you love and you especially shouldn't lie to people who trust you. It's still very raw as only happened recently and I'm still trying to wrap my head around it, I cannot believe this has happened and cannot understand why he could even bare to look me in the eye knowing this has been going on behind my back. I'm not even angry, I'm hurt, sad, lost, heartbroken. I'm 43 years of age and was abused severely for all of my adult life and my partner Is the polar opposite of my ex who put me through hell. I don't know what to do now, I only have him and when I feel rotten he's the only person who can make me feel better. It's difficult to turn to him for comfort when he's the one who caused this pain. He works hard, we both do, we support each other. He makes no demands of me, doesn't get angry about anything, he's understanding, caring, funny, and I feel so loved by him every moment of every day so to find this out has completely turned my entire life upside down and I don't even know how to start getting over this.
I guess what I'm asking is if anyone else has been this or similar? What did you decide to do? Did you leave? Did you give him another chance? Did it work out? Did he stop or do men who do this ever stop or do they just get better at hiding it. He doesn't go out drinking with friends, he spend every moment when he's not at work with me, makes effort to spend time with me and go places and do things. He's the very opposite of the kind of partner that ant woman would expect to be doing this. I feel so dirty and worthless and keep asking myself what I'm doing wrong that he's turning to this.

Thank you all so much for taking the time to offer advice and support. I can't tell you how much I need it right now

OP posts:
Lostinplaces · 09/05/2023 07:47

He is the one who is lacking, lacking in decency and respect for you his partner. I’m so sorry. You deserve much more and much better.

JennyStr · 09/05/2023 07:58

DustyLee123 · 09/05/2023 07:29

Get an STI check and get rid of him.

I've already booked one. I've only had 4 sexual partners my entire life and so the fact that I'm having to even consider this is seriously humiliating.

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 09/05/2023 08:01

Tbh I could get over cheating- but it’s the sordidness of paying for sex that honestly I could never be around him again. To think it’s ok to pay for a woman- actually makes me feel sick.

newhome12345 · 09/05/2023 08:09

So sorry this has happened to you. I don’t think you’ll be able to stay with him. Can you afford therapy? I suggest you try and get a therapist asap to talk through everything with, as it sounds like you have a lot to process with the ex and now your current partner. Remember to love yourself x

LaviniasBigBloomers · 09/05/2023 08:21

I could never trust a man who buys sex. And that's apart from moral issues around paying to access a woman's body which quite honestly turns my stomach. The reason is that there's a set of circumstances that have to occur for someone to cheat on you - the right person, the state of your own relationship, the stars sort of have to align. All a person who buys sex needs is a phone and some cash. It's fully accessible and so different in my head.

Get rid and remember, this isn't your fault.

Tiddlypomtiddlypom · 09/05/2023 08:48

He’s lied to you throughout your whole relationship.

He’s a cheating, filthy piece of shit, who pretended to be decent. He’s deceived you. He sees women as nothing more than meat he can pay for to stick his dick in. It’s utterly, utterly disgusting.

The trauma of finding this out must be awful, but don’t allow your dependence on him to make you endure another appalling relationship. Remember that everything he was, was a lie.

IfICouldIStillWouldNot · 09/05/2023 09:00

Don't marry him. I'm so sorry he has let you down. You have to leave him.

QueefQueen80s · 09/05/2023 10:11

I could never be with someone who did that. You are worth more.

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