I met my partner 7 years ago, together for 3. We got engaged last year. I am totally devoted to him and we had out entire future planned. I trusted him 100% and never felt the need to snoop on his phone, until now. He had became very protective of his phone, would throw it down when I walked into the room and would spend long periods in the toilet with it and instantly be active on WhatsApp. He would quickly swipe away notifications if I was sitting close enough to be able to see them. So I went through his phone and found several numbers, some unsaved and some saved in his contacts as random letter combinations. I done some digging and found at least 6 were prostitutes. He refused to admit it and said it was from his past but recently I caught him red handed sending a WhatsApp message to a prostitute directly from a well known escort website
He swears he only sent a message and has never and would never go through with it, the fact that he searched her out and sent the message has broken me, regardless of whether or not he's actually slept with them. He's had several traumas over the 3 years we've been together and I've been right by his side the whole time sometimes to the detriment of my own mental healhy. If you don't take the above into account he is the perfect partner. Loving, patient, mild mannered, gentle, thoughtful, caring and our sex life is fantastic. I've always been very open to new things in that sense. I'm 100% honest with him, and have never lied to him about anything in the entire time we've been together. Our while future was planned, every aspect of our life is built around my partner and I. I absolutely adore this man and am totally devastated by this. I know that what he is doing and how it's made me feel is so wrong, and there is no excuse for this. You don't do this people who you love and you especially shouldn't lie to people who trust you. It's still very raw as only happened recently and I'm still trying to wrap my head around it, I cannot believe this has happened and cannot understand why he could even bare to look me in the eye knowing this has been going on behind my back. I'm not even angry, I'm hurt, sad, lost, heartbroken. I'm 43 years of age and was abused severely for all of my adult life and my partner Is the polar opposite of my ex who put me through hell. I don't know what to do now, I only have him and when I feel rotten he's the only person who can make me feel better. It's difficult to turn to him for comfort when he's the one who caused this pain. He works hard, we both do, we support each other. He makes no demands of me, doesn't get angry about anything, he's understanding, caring, funny, and I feel so loved by him every moment of every day so to find this out has completely turned my entire life upside down and I don't even know how to start getting over this.
I guess what I'm asking is if anyone else has been this or similar? What did you decide to do? Did you leave? Did you give him another chance? Did it work out? Did he stop or do men who do this ever stop or do they just get better at hiding it. He doesn't go out drinking with friends, he spend every moment when he's not at work with me, makes effort to spend time with me and go places and do things. He's the very opposite of the kind of partner that ant woman would expect to be doing this. I feel so dirty and worthless and keep asking myself what I'm doing wrong that he's turning to this.