OLD nightmare - do I call the police or am I over reacting? (content warning: sexual harassment and abuse)

Wow, well done for trusting your instincts - they were obviously spot on!

Definitely report to police. Lock down all your social media and LinkedIn (take your last name off, make sure they're private, change profile pictures if he could recognise them as you.) I'd probably come off the OLD site for a bit too.

He sounds like an actual psychopath.

Make sure he can't delete what he's already sent. I wouldn't block, let him keep sending evidence and get to the police.

I don't think 111 will be much help.

OP does he know where you live? If so, 999 wouldn't be overkill. If he doesn't, I agree 101z

Hopefully the police can advise you.

Jesus, men are fucking terrifying

God, how awful.

Take screen shots to show the police. Then block him.

He sounds dangerous. Definitely report to the police.

I know its scary but I'd leave him unblocked for now, just until the police advise. Is he still texting? It can all be shown to the police as further evidence of his behaviour.

I'm really glad you're going to report him. I think you should report him to the site as well but I would speak to the police first. I think for now I wouldn't block him because anything he sends you can be used as evidence.

What an awful experience. Agree with speaking to the police. As a PP mentions, he might wake up this morning and delete the exchange from his end on WA. If you go to the three little dots at the top RH side of WA page, go down to more, look at the next menu there is a setting that says export chat. You can then send the chat to your own email and it would be preserved. I figure that logically, since he has already sent it to you, and you have seen it, and you would only be sending it to another of your own addresses (your email), you are not therefore spreading illegal material to another individual. But! I am emphatically not a lawyer...

I would report him to the police and then block

Take screenshots of everything and report to the police.

This is horrendous and he sounds dangerous 😳

I would definitely report to the police

Hi OP, just coming on to say the same as other which is to report to police on the non emergency line I would say-- they'll guide you if it's more important I think?

also just a couple of tips as you're saying you're new to OLD, and obviously they might seem obvious now but just in future I would always try and keep communication on the app until you've met them in person- don't give your phone number out. Also be careful with photos you have on the app so they're not the same as ones you have anywhere else so they can't do a reverse good image search to find more info such as LinkedIn or Facebook. And don't give your surname either. Any decent guy will understand all of that- often they'll ask tor my number and I'll say I'd like to keep it on here for now. I know on bumble for example they can still send pics and I think videos but just feels a little less dangerous than them having your personal number etc.

Best of luck and hope you're OK and police help x

What does Old actually stand for?

Hi,
Please report him to the OLD app or site too. Well done on trusting your instincts and cancelling the date. My friend was raped by an offender from OLD. We need to protect each other by reporting these men e very way we can.

Online dating

I hope you're feeling ok, Susie Lamplugh trust are good for support if he is continuing to harass you.

Heterosexual women have the dubious distinction of being the only group who date and get into intimate relationships with our most real and present predator.

We do it, because not all of them are.

But the point is, we don’t actually know which ones intend to cause us harm and which ones don’t - and we risk our lives finding out, often times not finding out until we’re well and truly ensconced into a life with them.

VAWG is endemic - every day multiple women are harmed and murdered by their partners. If it were the other way around, there would be utter outrage. Men (as a group) hate us (as a group), and I’m not really sure why - given the direction of harmful behaviour. And the fact that so many women stick up for men over women blows my mind.

I say this as someone who’s never had a bad experience myself (albeit countless examples of low level shit that all women put up with), and is surrounded by good men. I have no axe to grind. But too many women are not so lucky. It terrifies me for my daughter.

Men (as a group) hate us (as a group), and I’m not really sure why - given the direction of harmful behaviour.

There’s a theory that men hate women because women give birth and therefore life, a miracle that men can’t surpass.

OP Can you say what felt off. It might help other women reading who are OLD.

It doesn’t make any sense though.
Unless it was meant more as in angry about being alive.
Bitth isin’t a ’miracle’, just what was biologically designed.

My guess to men’s anger towards woman is their unhealthy obsession to sex and to degraid and ’own’ women in that sense.
That’s why they took women’s rights and bodily autonomy away, and still try their best to take them away still and control them.

Have you managed to get through on 111, OP?

Worth checking if your force has an online portal where you can report. You can usually upload photos/videos.

I agree you should take screenshot of the conversation and make a note of his number.

Police matter.
Report immediately.
They should take this seriously.

That’s horrific. The woman concerned may not be aware of it. It should definitely be reported. Vile man….it seems your instincts were right and you dodged a bullet.