3yr old horrid to my partner.

[marybeth60]

Hi,
my DD is 3 next month. Her father and I separated when she was just 1yr old and has lived with me and seen her dad regularly since then. For the past year I have had a new partner, I introduced them gradually and she has always been happy to have him in her life....recently tho she has begun to reject him, she glowers at him and refuses to speak to him! Making life very uncomfortable all round.
She is a VI little girl who talked coherently from age one and has a mental age of at least 5. Emotionally tho she is coming into her "3D" stage as my mother calls it and has recently started acting up whenever she comes home from my ex's house. Saying she wants to live with daddy, that she doesn't love me (oof..that one hurts) etc etc.
My partner and I do not live together as yet as we are very wary of upsetting her further, but this is what we want to do and in the future marry!
Can anyone give advice who has gone through this or similar? I don't want to scar her, but nor do I want to throw my partner away, whom I love very much, for a 3yr old temper tantrum. Please help someone
...other sites have suggested my partner abuses my dd which is UTTERLY disgraceful . He has NEVER been alone with her to abuse her, if you have these disgusting thoughts, please keep them to yourself!!
Thanks

'Learn your daughter some manners' - hmm, it is TEACH your daughter some manners. I thought you were rather stupid when I bowed out yesterday. Now I see you cannot drop this or speak properly I know you are stupid. I just love being right!

whoops sorry op,like the name change,so well thought out.

Check back on the first couple of pages and you will see I am not the OP you dumbo. May I recommend you change your name though and disappear into the background for a while . PMSL.

Name change?? no thank you, don't need to hide behind different name's but thanks for the advice.

Name calling hahaha sure your not the op's daughter.

Surely you meant to type 'you're not the op's daughter'. Oh dear, are you sure you're not the OP 3 yo?

Aww bless you.

Poor soul.

Are people really calling each other cunts on the Relationships board?

The pettiness and aggression on this thread are a disgrace. I'm sure there are other places where it's a bit more appropriate to act like an illiterate idiot.

I'm sorry but do not see the need for such vile language.

In response to the OP, I think your DD is maybe finding it hard to share you. I was a single mum for a long time before getting 'back in the saddle' so to speak and my DD found it hard to share her mummy at first.

Could it be that do you think?

I never swore once and i was not aggresive.

could you not take your obvious vendetta elsewhere?

The op did not call her daughter 'horrid'
She said she was being horrid to somebody, which is altogether different

As for '3yo are not horrid to someone for no reason', are you serious?

Op, I would ask your partner to continue to be kind, patient and loving in the face of challenging behaviour. Hopefully she will see her aggression is not achieving results and change tack

Good luck

Wow, what happened here?

Anyway, I am single with a 3.7 yr old DD, she is usd to having me all to herself and some days, this is just not enough.

Of course 3 year olds are wilfull, and know how to get a reaction. I am sure that this is all is happening with OP's little one.

I left ExH when DD was just over two years old, she was spiteful, hitting, spitting, kicking, because she just did not understand what had happened and this was the only way she knew how to react.

Once I had got over the emotional side of things when a marriage breaks down, I put my heart into making sure DD felt loved and had a happy upbringing.

She still has her moments, but has adjusted very well considering.

she does not feel threatended if one of my male friends comes over and is very chatty and shows off lol.

Different children, different reaction.

OP, you know your daughter best, so be it talking to her, special one to one time, or giving her something to look forward to, it helps in taking her focus off of the little battle she is having with you.

at how this thread has developed into such an unpleasant slanging match. I agree with HB and others - however good her language is, the DD is very very young - don't overreact to the behaviour, she's probably feeling insecure and testing the boundaries in the normal threenager fashion. rather than doing the booo hooo mummy is so sad you said some awful, be the adult, and briskly jolly her along a bit.

Wow this thread really kicked off!

I think what MissPopOff says is great advice. Also, as with any three year old, try not to draw to much attention to it and she may soon get bored. Crying infront of her is not a great idea IMO as she will see that she is winning.

Agreed Total and ShadeofV.