3yr old horrid to my partner.

[marybeth60]

Hi,
my DD is 3 next month. Her father and I separated when she was just 1yr old and has lived with me and seen her dad regularly since then. For the past year I have had a new partner, I introduced them gradually and she has always been happy to have him in her life....recently tho she has begun to reject him, she glowers at him and refuses to speak to him! Making life very uncomfortable all round.
She is a VI little girl who talked coherently from age one and has a mental age of at least 5. Emotionally tho she is coming into her "3D" stage as my mother calls it and has recently started acting up whenever she comes home from my ex's house. Saying she wants to live with daddy, that she doesn't love me (oof..that one hurts) etc etc.
My partner and I do not live together as yet as we are very wary of upsetting her further, but this is what we want to do and in the future marry!
Can anyone give advice who has gone through this or similar? I don't want to scar her, but nor do I want to throw my partner away, whom I love very much, for a 3yr old temper tantrum. Please help someone
...other sites have suggested my partner abuses my dd which is UTTERLY disgraceful . He has NEVER been alone with her to abuse her, if you have these disgusting thoughts, please keep them to yourself!!
Thanks

We all think our children are more mature and intelligent than their age, it's natural. But you must moderate this. She is three, not five, and even if she were older her behaviour would be pretty normal. Children like to test adults, she may get more of her own way by making a fuss/ignoring your boyfriend. I think you should balance her behaviour and manners with her emotions. So whilst it is not acceptable for her to be rude, gentle reminders and giving her plenty of examples to follow, I would think about plenty of time for just you and your daughter.

Thanks Posie,
inspite of the ridiculous attacks have gained some good advice!
Thank you.

It's always a mixed bag on MN and the posters that have 'attacked' you will probably be the source of invaluable advice another time.

You are just a charmer.

Hope your child grows up with better manners.

Hey sunshine if you're looking for a fight there are loads of twatty blogs all over the internet that you can post on. Try 'the false rape society' they believe that being accused of raping someone is worse than rape....worthy of some of your temper today!!

In all honesty Posieparker,i am not the one swearing and being aggressive.

So where is my temper??

PMSL this is like a am i being unreasonable thread

thesun i agree

Thank you Booyhoo.

Thank you Booyhoo

I recommended a friend try Mumsnet today. I hope this isn't the first thread she sees.

Lurking and now waving a little flag of support for marybeth

no advice I'm afraid but some people on here are extremely rude and I sincerely hope they do not act the same in rl as they do on here.

"no advice I'm afraid but some people on here are extremely rude and I sincerely hope they do not act the same in rl as they do on here. "

i agree, else their dcs might copy it and act out against their partners.

Actually I do have some advice- I have found that the best way to deal woth these sorts of people is simply not to engage with them.

sorts of people.

yes am so rude and foul mouthed

I think it is very hard for children to see someone else[however nice]in the position that believe belongs to a parent.My husband died when dd was 11 so a lot older.When my dh and I got together she said to hime one day,'Its not fair that you are alive and my Daddy's dead.'Dh just agreed that it wasn't fair and they eventually became very close and are now devoted.Your little girl is clever enough to try to manipulate the situation but too young to really understand what she is doing.I think she needs lots of cuddles from your dp and lots of reassurance that he isnt trying to take daddy's place but he wants to be her grown up friend.A bit of bribery from him might help-the occasional small gift perhaps or a treaty trip suggested by him to her eg,'XXX would you and Mummy like to come for a picnic in the park?I could buy some ice-cream.'
No more nastiness eh-its not appropriate in this case.

sorts of people.

yes am so rude and foul mouthed

"yes am so rude and foul mouthed"

...and defensive. Why's that?

Oh, you were mimicking another poster?!

My mistake.