when to tell someone you are a "randy pervert"

[justlookafterthedog]

as a randy pervert (and that is what quite a few of you would think of me) how should I (a man) communicate this to potential partners? I know that I am incompatible with the majority of women and I have no wish to waste their emotional energy on something that will never work or worse still start a relationship that is doomed to unhappiness. first or second date, maybe wear a t shirt?

oh, just an ice dildo affair. It has a fancy malancy name.

This ice docking caper.....is it some kind of race against time before it melts?

''vegetable-based lolly ''..is that code for putting the cucumber in the freezer?

and you know if you're eating something really frozen solid, your lip/tongue can stick to it for a moment....

Eeeeek

Not just any ice dildo.

OMG, I bought a cucumber and some carrots tonight (no other veg). Do you think the checkout boy thinks I was setting up an ice docking smorgasbord ?

coolfonz, does the cucumber have to come from M&S ?

Sorry I have to do this but:

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ice+docking

Not a cucumber in site. At least not whole.

eel rubbing

You're just making this shit up now.

Badger quivering
Squirrel tickling
hamster dancing

Everyone has danced the hamster at least once I reckon.

OMFG

frozen poo ?

.. well it's definitely an ice lolly you wouldn't want your kids to get hold of....

Oh my fooking word thats minging!

I thought I was quite enlightened too!

ice docking - would a rocket lolly do?

OFFS - I thought as a nurse/midwife AND health visitor that there was no perversion I no longer knew about but that is a new one on me. and again.

Ladies, get with the programme, we had this all last night. (cf Bum sex and wind thread)

Ice docking is, well, so yesterday.

The vibe is now with the live Twitter butt rampage festival by one of the posters.

why would anyone want to make a poo dildo ? I am utterly baffled by that.

There'd have to be a seperate freezer for the bumgames stuff too I'm afraid. Can't imagine them sitting next to poor old Cap'n Birds Eye.

You wouldn't want to get confused with a breaded coley fillet i would imagine.

Careful, NdP, that's probably what CoolFonz is calling his manhood.

Coolfonz - I'm not sure I ever got to the bottom of the eel rubbing on that thread, being momentarily distracted by the ice docking. Can you enlighten me so I don't have to google and be sullied for life?

that's just too funny

I mean - which came first? Did someone have a frozen poo and think "What could I do with that?" or did they think "Our sex life is a bit boring, what could I stick in the freezer to spice it up...?"?

rofl portia

'Keith' or 'Cap'n Birds Eye'

Is Coolfonz a fella then ? I missed that memo.

lal, on what planet, in what domestic situation would you happen to have frozen faeces sitting around ?

The appeal is lost on me. I can see the appeal in most kinks, even if I wouldn't necessarily want to make a lifestyle of them. But this one ?