Drugs again. Please someone tell me I'm doing the right thing.

[MercurySummer]

First of all, sorry if this is a bit rambly and not as intelligently written as most MN posts... I wasn't going to post at all as most of his stupid family are probably on here, but then I thought, f@*k it.
Dp and I together over 6 years, have a DS (4) and a DD (12 weeks). He has what you might call an 'addictive personality' and has had a previous problem with cocaine. we broke up over it when DS was small (I was informed of his problem by a 'friend'). Things haven't been right between us for a while, and the old warning signs had returned, so last week when we had had a row I looked at his mobile. I found some fairly incriminating messages. I then checked his bank statements and found MANY occurances of large sums of money being withdrawn for no apparent reason. I confronted him with this, and he tried to explain it away (unconvincingly). After more pressure from me, he finally admitted he's been using Mephedrone ('not regularly... probably once a fortnight')! Since then he seems to have lost the plot completely, not going to work and basically behaving like a prick. I've kicked him out and he's gone to his mothers. That was 3 days ago and I've heard nothing from him . I'm gutted about it all. He knows how I feel about drugs (never touched them, infact I don't even drink). I'm not even gutted for me (I will get over his betrayal eventually), just for my poor DS and tiny DD who will grow up without their dad around.

So sorry for rambling. Please someone reassure me that I've done the right thing. Was feeling so strong but now... I don't know how I feel.

Yeah, thanks AF. Just feeling a bit... messy-headed at the moment. To start with he was very business like, talking about maintenance, access to DCs, house etc as if he was as set on separating as I was. But as time has gone on and we've started talking, he has said that he wants us to 'start again'. I know this is a very bad idea. I think he probably realised too late that I was serious this time, and saw a potential way back in while I was vulnerable from the first week as a single parent. I now get the feeling that he wants his new house and 'singledom' so he can do whatever he likes, and feeding me all this shit to keep me dangling, so he can also play at happy families. I mean, he lied about the drugs, even when I had proof, so why wouldn't he lie about OW/s? Thanks for listening to me rant.

Even if what he says is true - not shagging, only doing drugs once a fortnight etc - he still went out countless times all night. He still used the children as an excuse for his partying. He had a coke problem before and now he's doing gear again. He doesn't answer his phone to you when he is out.

I mean, on its own that is bad enough. Let alone he may be doing coke again and going with other women. He sounds like a fucking tool, whining and weak.

And as an aside - Meph/M-Cat has been illegal now for X months, so it is not nearly as easy to buy. Not at all in fact. And M-Cat was usually available by post through the internet, not using cashpoints, but cards etc.

fucking tool

yep, you got that right, cf

MS...have been at work all day and am a bit disappointed you didn't get more replies today

I think wwifn must have missed your post, she is normally allll over it

hope you are ok x

Thanks for thinking of me AF. I called him round here tonight as dd was ill, ds in bed and potential trip to out of hours doctor. Should have just dealt with it myself. Now I'm worried that he might think I'm inventing reasons to get him to come over!! Aaargh! Such a mess.

is dd ok ?

I just want to say you are so doing the right thing.

Some of the MNetters on here will remember my dilemmas with Shagman.

He's now texting repeatedly looking for money. He's in shit street.

And its worse for you because you have children with him but he will never change, or if he does he will only do with a lot of time and help.

Stay strong.

She seems better now. Had her second lot of jabs today, had high temp, sickness and seemed to be having trouble breathing the out of hours people said 'oh just give her some calpol.'

aww, keep a close eye on her

Sorry, x posted Fabregasted. Shagman??

Ms I've name changed, but after me and my XH split I got involved with a friend - some of the wits on here christened him shagman.

But I split with him when I found out he was using drugs, specifically coke.

Cue a billion texts saying he was going to change, cue the disappearing act for days, so that I had some of his family members on the phone to me looking for him. cue the suicide attempts.

And now he wants money. Lots of money.

Which I wouldn't give him even if I had it - this is grow up time I'm afraid

absoloutley terrible!
if i were you id call the police and let him rot in a cell, in fact, if i had it my way id let all the druggys hang! bloody vermin!

Check the date JKettlesbury.
And as an ex- 'druggie,' how high would you have me hang?

Bloody vermin necroposters, ship 'em off for national service!