It has occurred to me this morning, that since I started losing weight, DH has become increasingly nasty about my weight. Why would he be doing this?

[ShinyAndNew]

I thought at first, maybe it is not that noticeable that I had lost weight. Or maybe that I hadn't in fact lost weight but that my jeans had somehow stretched in the wash and that is why they now fit

However in the last few days, my sister, the woman in the shop and someone at work have commented that I look like I have lost weight. This morning yet another pair of jeans, that had previously been far too tight and uncomfortable to wear, now fit. I know these ones have not stretched in the wash, because they have not been washed since I last had them on. They were too uncomfortable so I took them off after about 15 mins and put them back away.

DH has always commented on my weight, but the last few weeks, since I have been dieting his comments have been getting more frequent and nastier.

For example:

"When we go on Holiday, you should wear a bikini, then when you see how enormous you are in the pictures, you will want to diet"

"I don't what you are eating in the day, but it must be a lot for you to be that size. You cannot possibly just be eating what you say you are. I bet all you do is sit at the PC and eat and smoke"

"Kids, who do think is bigger? It's your mum isn't it? She loads bigger than me isn't she? Look how fat she is getting" - Of course they agreed with him

"I think the wii is lying to you. It is making you think you are smaller than you really are. I think you must weigh about X stone" - 2 stone heavier than the wii puts me at.

Normally he will just try and sabotage my diet by bringing in biscuits and chocolate and going on and on until I eat them, or going in a mood with me if I won't order take away with him or if chose something less fattening from the takeaway. But this time I haven't told him that I am dieting. I have just made small changes, like smaller portions and more exercise. Mainly during the day when he is working. I haven't told him that I have lost weight or that my clothes are fitting better.

So what's with this new tactic? I don't get it.

Give it a go

It's a funny thing, the way other people react when you lose weight.
I started my diet last year and had a friend as a diet buddy. She was my best friend and had the same amount to lose. I'm 5 stone down, she's lost a stone, if that. And it's broken us apart tbh, which is so upsetting and pointless. SHe can't deal with the fact that I've done somehting she finds hard, and can't help herself making digs everytime she sees me, if I don't order the same as her I'm 'not eating', if I feel ill , it's because I'm 'not eating', if I have a new dress on it 'looks gross to show your bones'. SHe was talking about my collar bone ffs which can now be seen as it's not covered in blubber.
So I do feel for you op. But the problem is entirely his, he feels threatened and his insecurity is showing itself in his comments. He sounds like an arse.

When he starts ranting about your weight, imagine he's Jabba the Hutt and your Leah wrapping that cord round his neck till his eyes pop - arse! Well done on the weight loss, don't let him drag you down chick.

how long you been doing it ladylush?

Bloody hell, you should have stuck with penguin boy - haven't read the whole thread but I can't believe anyone would say that to you.

Oops, wrong Shiney/Shiny

Good one, Sugar Mouse.

ShinyAndNew-congratulations on becomming more healthy, energetic and happy. Is your dh one of those people that has to rain on every parade?

My lovely Middle Sister fancys herself as captain of an eating team every time she sits at the head of her (or any) table.

"Oh, TMSB is being goooood."
What is this 'being good' about eating correctly? It is one of those manipulative comments that makes my teeth itch.

Then she always orders dessert with two spoons, as if I'll share.

She is a controller, no doubt and no doubt- I am not on her eating team.

Long ago now, but I remember it well: When I mentioned that I had started a diet program (3 weeks into it): "Oh, you don't need to lose weight!" She might see it that way since I was on a program even though I didn't weigh as much as she. It was just part of her general campaign of being dismissive towards me though.

I am no longer her doormat and am not in contact with her now-its been nearly 2 & 1/2 yeras now.

littlemiss - 8 weeks. I'm not in favour of quick weight/inch loss - ime goes back on just as fast.

Love sugarmouse's tip to record one of his putshinydown rants. That is inspired She's right - no doubt he probably will try and re-write history. I also thought Shiny should put extra helpings on his plate but I reckon he can destroy himself quite nicely without her help.

Well considering that day before yesterday he ate left over take away curry and then my home made curry in quick succession and then yesterday he had a cooked meal at his mums and then stayed up to scrounge half of my free meal from work and was still 'hungry' afterwards, I don't think I will need to give him any extra portions. He is helping himself to them anyway.

He is already trying to rewrite history. He does all the time. He seems that absolute in what he is saying I am convinced he actually believes it

Perhaps I might record it so that next time he tries to blame some one else I can show him just how much of a tosser he sounds. This time dd1 did not tell me I was fat because he started going on about it and asking who was bigger. She said it first and then he asked her . Of this he is convinced.

However, even if that was the case, which it is not, if your child calls your partner/lover something which you know will upset her/him then surely you scold that child and comfort the person you love? As opposed to joining in and encouraging it.

It's his birthday today and the children like to make a fuss so I am going to be nice for their sake and bake the cake etc with them like we usually do. Although I can guarantee that it won't be good enough and I won't have spent enough money/time/effort on him.

Hope he chokes on it

"Perhaps I might record it so that next time he tries to blame some one else I can show him just how much of a tosser he sounds."

Tempting I know but ... nah ... save your energy for becoming even more gorgeous and amazing. Just do a little knowing smile when he starts talking rubbish.

Congratulations on the weight loss by the way, it's hard enough when you have support let alone when you're being sabotaged.

Just explain to him that since you've already told him you aren't staying with him long term, any extra money/time/effort spent on him would be a wasted investment.

Well, maybe don't say it really, but think it. That will help with the knowing smile.

annie

I don't suppose arsenic is included in your cake recipe?