Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Signs your long-term relationship is petering out

351 replies

Tesla · 01/06/2010 01:58

If your partner of 8 years lives many miles away and when he comes to visit stays a week or so, but ignores you most of the time, does not wish to go out anywhere with you and now claims he can't sleep in the same bed with you because he's become allergic to the perfume you're wearing -when you don't wear any - and also responds to the question, "Are we still a couple or not?" with either, "I refuse to answer that/ I don't want you to know", also does not phone you, takes days to respond to text messages and then only brief/succinct, emails only in response and then never,ever, ever signs off with any sentiments such as miss you, love you, etc. Never sends birthday, Valentine, Christmas cards or presents, claims to be too busy to stay at Christmas, and can't afford to drive down to see you because he's skint, or when he does visit, it might be very irregular such as for a week, then nothing for 6 months, then another few days, then nothing for a couple of months, and you never know when he'll next visit nor will he commit to any kind of regular visits,...

does it means he's just not that into you anymore, his love long since faded, and you're just hanging on out of stupidity? Should you just bear the heartbreak and dump him and find a new man who actually wants to be with you, love you and cherish you?
especially if there's young kdis involved?

I've tried every measure going to keep communication alive in this long-distance relationship and pine for him when he's not here but can hardly bear the anxiety anymore of never knowing when he'll next visit. I'm utterly in love and always have been, so how can I get him to communicate with me and reassure me he still loves and wants me, depite the distance.

I've asked for an occassional "Hang in there, I know you miss me, I'll see you soon" but he refuses to give me even that tiny morsel of reassurance

I'm slowly becoming heartbroken, I feel like the most important relationship in my life is slipping into history.

OP posts:
PortiaNovmerriment · 01/06/2010 20:43

I defy anybody to read this OP and tell me it's not the same poster. Or any of the linked ones.

Tenalady · 01/06/2010 20:49

Sounds like he has got another life to me. I maybe wrong.

Do yourself a favour and break this habit. It is unhealthy for you and the kids and I think you know this.

If you finish it, you will better for it. If he does you will feel used and stupid because you hung on in the hope he would be everything you wanted him to be.

Theyremybiscuits · 01/06/2010 20:51

The more I read of this sad excuse of of a life makes me so worried if this is real and the kids exist.

If I were aware of this happening close to me, I would have to be held back from ring for outside support. (SS)

Tesla · 01/06/2010 21:01

For the record, my parner isnt selling on 'ebay' he has his own website, I never mentioned ebay at all!

He doesnt claim benefits, just because he's unemployed! So stop telling me to 'shop' him!

I actually read back through this whole thread and nowhere have I suggested Im trolling myself, but I HAVE noticed however other people trying to. Why? Is it that boring?

I've googled it and The Calpol thread is a bit of an urban myth, it even got a mention in the national news

news.scotsman.com/opinion/Dani-Garavelli-A-spoonful-of.3928565.jp

the general consensus was it was started by a journalist to drum up advertising revenue for Mumsnet, but it fooled a lot of mumsnetters. So I s'pse that means it did it's job?

I do notice that are some regulars on here who are incredibly rude for want of a better word, identified by their swearing and man-hating, unfortunately looks like some of them got ont omy thread so explains a lot
was v. confused there for a while about the bizarre suicide, child abuse and man-bashing tangents inserted into my thread baout why my man doesnt seem to love me anymore because insinuation is very dangerous thing.

I had another question I wanted to put on the site about a bleddy gardening issue (landscaping my garden) but now Ive been picked on here god knows what will happen in my gardening thread !

Think I'll stick to my usual netmums from now on, mumsnet is a bit too vicious, god knows why Boden wants to associate it's brand with this website, mumsnet does seem to be getting a bad reputation lately judging by the news (No Im not a Daily Mail reader!)it's certainly putting me off browing the rest of the site although Im tempted now to go and find some posts by Diamond to see if he/she is a 'troll' and just sabotages for fun, because I was gewtting some good views before he/she barged in with nonsense!

(Addictive this isnt it - still it stops me browsing shopping sites I suppose!)

OP posts:
maduggar · 01/06/2010 21:05

YOu are most definitely milkmonster/farmgirls, absolutely ALL details are the same! I very much doubt there are two (3? 4?) of you

Fliight · 01/06/2010 21:05

HmmHmmHmm

PortiaNovmerriment · 01/06/2010 21:08

You picked someone before to harrass- go on choose me, please.

EleanorHandbasket · 01/06/2010 21:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

maduggar · 01/06/2010 21:08

me or tesla, fliight?

DeFluffy · 01/06/2010 21:08

just read that other thread re farmgirls, its definitely the same person as this. Uses exact same phrases like 'bitchy women' which is something you'd only say if you were a man isn't it anyway? Whatever, is same person.

You need to get help. Seriously. And if you have children god help them.

Fliight · 01/06/2010 21:09

Not you, Madbuggar

EleanorHandbasket · 01/06/2010 21:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Tesla · 01/06/2010 21:11

Exactly what have I got in common with someone who only has two babies compared to my four children? I also work full -time, so the benefits issue doenst even apply. I see you are scraping the barrel. I shouldnt even be getting drawn into this, I just cant see any similarites at all and as usual it's all a bit off-topic, like the suicide thing
Nevermind, sister here now

OP posts:
PortiaNovmerriment · 01/06/2010 21:11

You are clearly delusional. Take Grace's advice and see your doctor or CPN.

maduggar · 01/06/2010 21:11

lol @ madbuggar, hope it doesnt stick!

Reading back over the MM threads, she has had so much help & advice I worry that there are real kids involved!

EleanorHandbasket · 01/06/2010 21:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

EleanorHandbasket · 01/06/2010 21:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

maduggar · 01/06/2010 21:13

That was one scary thread Fliight I remember all the worry at the time!!

PortiaNovmerriment · 01/06/2010 21:13

They have doubled since she started on the Bailey's, Eleanor.

EleanorHandbasket · 01/06/2010 21:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

maduggar · 01/06/2010 21:13

yay the sisterwife is here!

You said you had 2 children at the start of this thread

Tesla · 01/06/2010 21:15

Well I dont bleddy know I wasnt here, I just Googled mumsnet calpol thread!!

As for Calpol, my boys are ever so slighy just beyond the age where calpol is intended for ... like 15 years beyond! (ages 11,12,14 and 17).

I've not called anyone 'bitchy women' at all you can read back the whole thread andwont find that! I said stupid women.

OP posts:
maduggar · 01/06/2010 21:16

how are they his if you have only been together 8 years? and where are the "young kids involved"? Which 2 are his?
oh this is hilarious!

EleanorHandbasket · 01/06/2010 21:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PortiaNovmerriment · 01/06/2010 21:17

And they are your "partner's" kids, who you have been with for eight years?