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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Signs your long-term relationship is petering out

351 replies

Tesla · 01/06/2010 01:58

If your partner of 8 years lives many miles away and when he comes to visit stays a week or so, but ignores you most of the time, does not wish to go out anywhere with you and now claims he can't sleep in the same bed with you because he's become allergic to the perfume you're wearing -when you don't wear any - and also responds to the question, "Are we still a couple or not?" with either, "I refuse to answer that/ I don't want you to know", also does not phone you, takes days to respond to text messages and then only brief/succinct, emails only in response and then never,ever, ever signs off with any sentiments such as miss you, love you, etc. Never sends birthday, Valentine, Christmas cards or presents, claims to be too busy to stay at Christmas, and can't afford to drive down to see you because he's skint, or when he does visit, it might be very irregular such as for a week, then nothing for 6 months, then another few days, then nothing for a couple of months, and you never know when he'll next visit nor will he commit to any kind of regular visits,...

does it means he's just not that into you anymore, his love long since faded, and you're just hanging on out of stupidity? Should you just bear the heartbreak and dump him and find a new man who actually wants to be with you, love you and cherish you?
especially if there's young kdis involved?

I've tried every measure going to keep communication alive in this long-distance relationship and pine for him when he's not here but can hardly bear the anxiety anymore of never knowing when he'll next visit. I'm utterly in love and always have been, so how can I get him to communicate with me and reassure me he still loves and wants me, depite the distance.

I've asked for an occassional "Hang in there, I know you miss me, I'll see you soon" but he refuses to give me even that tiny morsel of reassurance

I'm slowly becoming heartbroken, I feel like the most important relationship in my life is slipping into history.

OP posts:
PortiaNovmerriment · 01/06/2010 22:41

I love LMGTFY. It is de rigeur when the sockies ask what a troll is...

ItsGraceAgain · 01/06/2010 22:42

Who, me? No. Not cross, never posted under another name here.

The link should have been this and, also, I didn't read any of the results. It's moved on A LOT and you can get paid good money to sneak product reviews & links into blog and forum posts.

Interesting ...! [$£ evil grin $£]

DeFluffy · 01/06/2010 22:51

Staycee, still undecided on whether real or not, assuming so but she was sooo jk she can't have been surely??

thumbwitch · 01/06/2010 22:52

Pretty illiterate journo, tbh. Mind you, a lot of them are these days.

ShirleyKnot · 01/06/2010 22:56

Who was the LMGTFY aimed at?

I got me ova 200 books and ting. Strange. Still, lets leave that where it lies (in the same place where the OP asked on TR's thread for funds for her child's uniform hey?)

[bitchy]

PortiaNovmerriment · 01/06/2010 22:58

Oh, I don't know any more. Maybe pretending to be a journo just feeds into his delusions of grandeur. Catinthehat is good on all this stuff- a very workable theory of the old ID-nicker JudgeFlounce emerges.

ItsGraceAgain · 01/06/2010 22:58

I lied above. I posted as FoxiRoxi (I think) but the thread was deleted. It was an East Enders joke thread

DeFluffy · 01/06/2010 23:02

Shirley - I want a link to that thread. I can't find it and it is bothering me

Think LMGTFY was aimed at Grace,no idea why though she's always sweetness personified, can't imagine her getting riled at anything

ItsGraceAgain · 01/06/2010 23:05

Thank you, darling! I did get quite annoyed with Dittany yesterday

colditz · 02/06/2010 00:15

ahhhh my instinct was correct, the poster does have problems with empathy and socialisation.

arsesandoldlace · 02/06/2010 00:37

reckon online reviews are fake? Cos Sockie's are!

ItsGraceAgain · 02/06/2010 00:44

Colditz & Fliight, you were both spot-on about that!

Arses, now I've discovered that, I think I'm gonna work it ... not on Mumsnet: I don't need a pushchair. Though I could always use one to wheel my collection of old newpapers and empty Coke bottles around town. But why slave away for points on dooyoo, when I could just pontificate and get paid? Until I find out how to make money by sleeping on a tropical beach, it's my ideal job

SolidGoldBrass · 02/06/2010 01:23

Well there's an object lesson for all in how being able to string a sentence together does not an actual journalist make...
You know, me, I generally love the way the interweb has democratized arts/media, so people with interesting stuff to express can actually express it to a potentially interested audience. However, this does also lead, not only to 8million blogs of the 'Well I've just had a ham sandwich and a dump' variety of excitement, but also to inadequate little fuckheads like this one. You know, the sort of people who think that because they can spell a bit and put their own pants on without a prescription, the fact that their deranged rantings don't get published by anyone who might actually pay them is all proof of the Evil Elitist Media Conspiracy...

(I've just worked out how much I usually get paid. I think I'll resign from the thread and go and make myself a tinfoil hat.)

ItsGraceAgain · 02/06/2010 02:19

< put their own pants on without a prescription >

Duly stolen & stored for future use. Cheers!

EleanorHandbasket · 02/06/2010 08:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

maduggar · 02/06/2010 08:23

I dont think this is a journo at all, just some poor soul who is embarassed they got caught out in their lies.

LadyintheRadiator · 02/06/2010 08:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EleanorHandbasket · 02/06/2010 09:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

squeaver · 02/06/2010 09:37

Bollocks to this being a journalist. Or to someone getting paid by the word. Utter utter bollocks.

Fliight · 02/06/2010 09:38

I don't think I feel qualified to believe or disbelieve anything any more. I thought this was probably real.

DeFluffy · 02/06/2010 10:43

If you watched JK this morning (the shame!) Staycee was definitely one of the guests.

SolidGoldBrass · 02/06/2010 11:27

Who or what is Staycee? ANd what happened on TLES thread that I missed?

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 02/06/2010 21:07

Staycee is TLES's friend of over 8 years, wife to another friend of TLES, for 24 years. She turned up on a thread where TLES was getting it a bit in a "told you so" way, to defend her parenting skills. Someone linked to another thread TLES had started back in 2005 (I think) which resulted in TLES's real identity being revealed, and it was suggested that the thread be pulled.

booyhoo · 03/06/2010 16:01

is tesla, TLES?

i am confussed. too many names.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 03/06/2010 16:14

No Tesla was a troll, TLES is TheLadyEvenstar.