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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Signs your long-term relationship is petering out

351 replies

Tesla · 01/06/2010 01:58

If your partner of 8 years lives many miles away and when he comes to visit stays a week or so, but ignores you most of the time, does not wish to go out anywhere with you and now claims he can't sleep in the same bed with you because he's become allergic to the perfume you're wearing -when you don't wear any - and also responds to the question, "Are we still a couple or not?" with either, "I refuse to answer that/ I don't want you to know", also does not phone you, takes days to respond to text messages and then only brief/succinct, emails only in response and then never,ever, ever signs off with any sentiments such as miss you, love you, etc. Never sends birthday, Valentine, Christmas cards or presents, claims to be too busy to stay at Christmas, and can't afford to drive down to see you because he's skint, or when he does visit, it might be very irregular such as for a week, then nothing for 6 months, then another few days, then nothing for a couple of months, and you never know when he'll next visit nor will he commit to any kind of regular visits,...

does it means he's just not that into you anymore, his love long since faded, and you're just hanging on out of stupidity? Should you just bear the heartbreak and dump him and find a new man who actually wants to be with you, love you and cherish you?
especially if there's young kdis involved?

I've tried every measure going to keep communication alive in this long-distance relationship and pine for him when he's not here but can hardly bear the anxiety anymore of never knowing when he'll next visit. I'm utterly in love and always have been, so how can I get him to communicate with me and reassure me he still loves and wants me, depite the distance.

I've asked for an occassional "Hang in there, I know you miss me, I'll see you soon" but he refuses to give me even that tiny morsel of reassurance

I'm slowly becoming heartbroken, I feel like the most important relationship in my life is slipping into history.

OP posts:
Cogitoergosum · 01/06/2010 21:18

How can your 'partner' be the father of your children, if you've only known him 8 years then? LOL!

Fliight · 01/06/2010 21:19

'Yes, the children are both his. He visits to see them and stays here as he couldn't afford a hotel for the duration.'

Exactly, Eleanor got there before I did.

Which two are his, and you said they were young, in your OP. I think you are now making stuff up.

maduggar · 01/06/2010 21:19

Dont think we will be seeing Tesla again

wonders what the next nickname will be

DeFluffy · 01/06/2010 21:20

my mistake it's the other thread where you say 'bitchy women' I think the fact that you said 'something derogatory women' is enough.

If he's been your partner for 8 years and 2 of your (now 4) children are his how are the youngest 11 and 12. Wouldn't they be (at the oldest 8years +9 months and 8years + roughly 20 months? I'm not good at maths

Fliight · 01/06/2010 21:20

An evening wasted then

I really wish I hadn't bothered, now.

ItsSocky123Again · 01/06/2010 21:21

I thoroughly agree with the OP and all his sockpuppets.

"Oh yes, Doctor Socky"!

Fliight · 01/06/2010 21:22

yess! you turned up at exactly the right moment.

DeFluffy · 01/06/2010 21:22

I mean 8 years - 9 months and 8 years - 20 months don't i? See my maths is too crap for me to ever troll!!

winnybella · 01/06/2010 21:22

You know what, the more I read, the more I'm convinced it's a wind up ie obviously she/he is a very disturbed invidual, but when you read the OP, she/he is almost egging us on iyswim. Like, the guy is a looser, doesn't give a shit about me etc but I still think he might...there's no desperation to it, as I would expect from someone in that sort of situation.

TedtheDead · 01/06/2010 21:23

Do I know you OP?

Do you remember Lavenderrrrr? ]

good times

Tesla · 01/06/2010 21:25

I most certainly did not say I had two children at the start!

'how are they his if you have only been together 8 years?'

Doh. Because two are my stepsons..

Right that's enough, this is all clearly a wind-up. Not particularly funny either

OP posts:
winnybella · 01/06/2010 21:26

I mean, there probably aren't any children, she/he is a pathetic looser who gets her kicks out of starting idiotic threads.

maduggar · 01/06/2010 21:27

Hee hee you are quite mad!

You do know that even if 2 were your stepsons, they are ALL still too old to be your partners children? lol!

Fliight · 01/06/2010 21:27

hang on. The youngest are 11 and 12. You have known him 8 years.

How did that happen?

noddyholder · 01/06/2010 21:28

half term

DanJARMouse · 01/06/2010 21:28

So, 2 kids are this blokes..... you have been in an 8yr relationship...... but the kids are at youngest 11yrs old?! And when the bloke does visit he "plays with them" - you dont play with an 11yr old really do you?!

One freaky fucking poster..... off you fuck, there's a dear!

A FEW QUOTES BY TELSA

As for Calpol, my boys are ever so slighy just beyond the age where calpol is intended for ... like 15 years beyond! (ages 11,12,14 and 17).

Yes, the children are both his. He visits to see them and stays here as he couldn't afford a hotel for the duration.

Tesla · 01/06/2010 21:28

Mumsnetters, so easy to fool

OP posts:
maduggar · 01/06/2010 21:28

You most certainly did say "young children involved" and "both are his"

sorry

maduggar · 01/06/2010 21:29

In what way are you fooling us Tesla? I think the fool is you

DanJARMouse · 01/06/2010 21:29

Step sons? I think not. No father of sons, who thinks the way he does about you, would leave his sons in your care!

Fliight · 01/06/2010 21:29

Oh you fucking bastard.

EleanorHandbasket · 01/06/2010 21:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Tesla · 01/06/2010 21:29

Next challenge, do it in 10 pages length?

OP posts:
maduggar · 01/06/2010 21:30

To do what exactly?

Tesla · 01/06/2010 21:30

Well eleanor, it took you a while!

OP posts: