me and alcohol have ruined my family

[jesuswhatnext]

title says it all really - i really cocked up last night, dh walked out, i cant remember what i said to him

today i have actually been in touch with AA but i think its all too late, my dd hates me, as does my parents, yes im feeling sorry for myself right now but i also know i have to change and stop drinking but dont know how.

what can i do to put things right? help me!

Someone asked about vitamins.

The answer is YES - B vitamins.

Either pay for expensive tablets or eat lots of marmite, the effect is the same.

Also go wild on the sweet things for the near future, it will offset the sugar crash from the lack of alcohol and also put a sweet taste in your mouth (creme eggs are good for this, so are mints) that spoils the thought of a drink.

Seconding MIFLAW's good advice

Seven Seas and Holland & Barrett both do a super-mega B Complex supplement. You don't want 100% RDA, you want more like 3,000%.

Totally true about the sugar, as well. Alcohol is a readily absorbed form of sugar; you can wolf a whole pack of ginger nuts for pretty much the same effect and calorie value! If you're being all nutritionist about it, you get a faster blood-sugar kick from glucose drinks. But it's better for your sobriety to use chocolate, cakes & biscuits - gets your system more used to hanging on for the extra few minutes (and having to do a bit of work to get at the sugar). It's not often you get told it's healthy to eat chocolate Hob Nobs, is it?

Healthy breakfast for you today! Go, girl.

JWN, you are doing brilliantly. Just joining your cheer squad.

feel good about wot u are doing.like other people have said u have to do it for yourself.if ur daughter dont want to come home just yet then even if she is 18 thats her choice.perhaps she might just like staying with her boy friend.drink isnt always the prob.people can use it against u.if it suits them.

just want to send you a very quick but very sincere WELL DONE before I go to work.
You are doing amazingly, and should be so proud.
x

Have been following this thread, and just want to add myself the growing 'cheer squad' who so admires your strength and courage.

The very best of luck to you - you are doing fantastically well.

good morning (and i feel like it is) yesterday was a good day, i honestly cant remember the last time i got of that train sober i mananaged to talk to people without being half pissed and got a bit of business on the go

i took your advice miflaw and hung on to the glass for grim death, it was a good idea, however i don't think i will ask for ice next time, my fingers nearly fell off with the cold

dd has been home this morning, spoke to me briefly and has now gone, it was almost amicable.

had another long chat with dh, he said he recognises that he is angry and is almost punishing me but right now he cant help it he said he is trying to work out how he feels about our future, he says we have one, which is good, but that he cant go back to how its has been, which i totally understand.

i am going to AA at lunch time - my intention to day is not to drink!

Have just read this thread and would like to see a big 'well done' to you. I can hear the new clarity of thinking in your posts and your growing positivity for your future and that of your family. Best of luck - I will be following your posts.

(say)

I have also just read your thread and just want to say well done. you are doing brilliantly and I am sure you and your family will get through this.

Just take it one day at a time!

thanks very much, it is so nice to read something positive about myself, cos right now i feel very low.

am off to meeting now, be back later, i think i shall use this thread for ages if no-one minds, i think it will be really helpful if i feel a drink coming on iyswim.

Use it as long as you want.

And I have to say, without knowing any of your background, that I'm quite impressed with your husband too. If he was totally back to normal already that would be strange, I think. The fact that he's saying that he recognises the anger, etc., and he needs time, tells me he's in touch with how he feels and he's a decent communicator. And he clearly cares, JWN, he's still there.

Glad you got to talk to your daughter too.

One day at a time. You're doing well.

Just want to add my voice to those saying Well Done.

I have no experience of addiction, but I can see how well you are doing & how strong you are being.

I am pleased for you that your daughter came by. Hopefully in time she will come home, properly.

I hope your meeting goes well.

tortoise - you are right, my dh is a fantastic man, quite deep, very thoughtful and also very kind - he is very committed to our marriage, thank god and i know he will give me every support i ask for - i feel that part of my recovery (see, i'm picking up the lingo ) is the desire i have not to let him down.

i have been listening today to a guy talking about the selfish nature of the alcoholic, oh my word, it rang some bells for me

i can but try to make things right.

am off to potter in the garden, so far have not wanted a drink today.

Glad to hear that you are doing so well!

You will get through all of this, just keep going! you can do it!

Have a good evening!

well, i know its only 8.30 but i am off to bed, i am exhausted again, it must be facing up to all this - today has been fairly ok, i havent had a drink and dd has been home this afternoon for a few hours, we spoke, kind of normally, but its a start.

on a plus note, i have lost a couple of pounds already and my eyes look whiter - i'm hoping this will also mean my teeth will look a bit whiter soon aswell

thanks for todays comments, it does help - when i am in the meetings it feels very safe, almost as if i am coccooned from the world, i'm finding this thread has a similar effect. i have also had the thought that it has been a priviledge to hear the peoples storys and that actually, i should pay them back with my sobriety.

I just want to join in and say Well Done JWN. I have no wisdom to offer just good wishes and admiration

no wonder you're tired, it's been a heck of a week for you so far! The most important week of your life! What ever you need to keep to the path, go for it! You know we're all behind you!

It does make you tired! Mention it at a meeting, I'm sure most people will agree. The Vitamin B helps with that

Well done. Since you're already in bed - welcome to a fresher, brighter day!

good morning - i feel quite bright today, dh just kissed me goodbye dd is at home right now, [asked me for a couple of quid - that feels very normal ]

i am going to AA again at lunch time, then coming home to do some housework, i want to decorate the kitchen over the weekend.

my aim is to go into the office a few days next week, i'm lucky that i can still go to AA during the day so thats the plan

sorry, i seem to be wittering on, i am using this thread as a kind of diary, rereeading from the beginnging helps to keep me focused on why i'm doing this!

Well done JWN - will also be looking out for this thread.

Alcoholic grandfather who drank himself to death and I saw my Mum suffer through it all. My uncle is going the same way.

You are doing amazingly well and I am routing for you.
xx

BLIMEY - just weighed myself - guess who has lost 4lbs? meeeeeeeeeee thats just in 4 DAYS of not drinking - i must keep repeating that the benefits sooo outweigh the the 'pleasure' of a glass of wine!

Well done you. You are doing brilliant. You must be so proud of yourself. My MIL is an alcholic she has never been able to give up. I wish she had your strength. Good luck...enjoy the weekend.

downstairs is now spick and span, washing on, am off to meeting, feeling quite jaunty