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Original poster

Am I a bitch

128 replies

TwinSetAndPearls · 06/08/2005 22:53

I hate my dp dog. He shits in my garden, has wrecked my lawn, chews dd toys, always pulling over the kitchen bin and spreading contents over the floor, he smells, he slobbers, the house is full of dog hair, he has ruined my carpets, he makes my house smell, we can't go on holiday for more than a week because dp won't leave him, when I am on my period he practically rapes me.

On top of that I am allergic to him, not a little bit , but a serious allergy that robs me of all my energy. He makes me feel like I have flu permanently, so tired, run down, constantly sniffing eyes streaming.

Oh and another thing, dp keeps letting him sleep in our room so our bedding gets covered in dog hair.

I keep telling dp I don't like him, dp keeps saying that he will find him a new home but he never does. Tonight had a row about him which has resulted in dp walking out with the dog saying I am an intolerant bitch and he will have to find a way of getting rid of him just to shut me up.

I now feel awful as dp and dd both love the dog, I spoke to dd about finding a new home for the dog and she was heartbroken. I also wanted to find the dog a proper home with people who loved him not have dp wandering the streets with him. He could be a lovely dog in the right home, he is a Springer with a lovely temperament and fantastic with kids but just not in a home with someone who doesn't like dogs, hates hoovering up dog hair and is allergic to them.

So am I a bitch? Should I let the dog stay?

OP posts:
KemalsStilletto · 07/08/2005 08:10

Tee hee hee hee Twiglett! MrTwinSetAndPearls, run for your life, they wanna mess with your manhood!

Eugenius · 07/08/2005 10:16

Caligula I wouldn't have him - but if I was in TSAP situation it'd be a kennel OUTSIDE!

Original poster
TwinSetAndPearls · 07/08/2005 13:42

I have been begging dp to get him neutered for about a year now, the dog is lamost three but dp thinks it is cruel and unnatural.

Fio it may sound meoldrmatic but I spend every day with a banging headache, runny nose, streaming eyes and just feeling shit, and that is after anti hystemines.

I am not asking him to just chuck the dog out, there are schemes designd to find Springers new homes. Or if he is to stay things need to change. But for a year now I have been laying down deadlines and rules, such as he is to only go in one room, get him neutered, keep him clipped and walk him properly and they are all ignored.

I also do not see how we can have the dog while I childmind. I need to bring in some money to our house while we wait for dd to start school.

OP posts:
hercules · 07/08/2005 13:45

I'm allergic to dogs and cats and although it would be dh's dearest wish to have a dog it will never happen. HAving an allergy is horrible and I'm sure affects your own quality of life.

I'm sorry but I dont understand how a dog can take precedence over a partner no matter how long he has had it for or whether you agreed to it moving in in the first place.

Get rid of it!

Original poster
TwinSetAndPearls · 07/08/2005 13:45

The dog is wormed and treatd for fleas regularly but it is still not nice having poo in the garden. AS i said before this means dd has to play in the front garden if she wants to play out as I worry about her coming into contact with dog poo. This also means I get bugger all done during the day when dd is at home as I can't send her out to play so I can get things done as she can't play out the front unsupervisd for more than a few minutes.

OP posts:
Original poster
TwinSetAndPearls · 07/08/2005 13:47

I am not an animal hater either, we also have a cat and I offered to take in dp rabbits when we moved in together.

The cat doesn't make me ill because she only comes in to get fed!

OP posts:
hercules · 07/08/2005 13:47

fio2- it is a dog, quite right. It's not a child. WHy should anyone suffer ill health because of an animal?

Original poster
TwinSetAndPearls · 07/08/2005 13:53

I have said this to dp in one of our more heated arguments and dp says he loves the dog as we love dd.

Not a logic I profess to understand, but I know dog owners do become very attached to their pets.

OP posts:
Original poster
TwinSetAndPearls · 07/08/2005 13:54

off to do the ironing and some housework, according to dp the house is so much work not because of the dog but because I am a pampered princess who needs to do more!!

OP posts:
hercules · 07/08/2005 13:55

Sorry but a dog is a dog and not a child.

I would give him a time limit with which to get rid of the dog.
I can understand the arguments about feeding, walking etc but not the health reasons.

WHat does he think when you are suffering from the allergy? I would hope seeing you so ill would make him do it without you telling him to.

steffee · 07/08/2005 14:12

This is a tough one. I hate dogs and am terrified of them, so would point blank refuse to have a dog in my house, but, because of my fear of dogs my parents have always had dogs to try and help me overcome it. The last were two westies when I was a teenager, who my sister, mum and dad adored, and I liked a little. My mum one day said the dogs caused her asthma and they had to go, much to the devestation of the whole family. They went, and for years my sister especially thought she'd been unreasonable.

As for the childminding, I would not let my children be looked after by a childminder who has a dog (but that's more because of my fear of them), which I realise is selfish but they stink and carry germs.

On the other hand, there is said to be a lot of advantages for children to have a pet...

It is a tough one, because your dp had the dog before you met, so he can reasonably expect you to adapt to having him, but you do have to think of your allergy too. And if you know in your heart you can't live like this for much longer you have to do something.

My sister used to walk our neighbours dog every night for an hour and got paid something like £5 per week, could you do this? There would be plenty of takers for the job.

donnie · 07/08/2005 14:20

can I be blunt ? the dog needs to be got rid of! I can't belive your dp is happy to let the mutt stay despite the fact it makes you ill and is ruining the house.TBH I am no great animal lover so meybe I sound a bit heartless, but frankly I read your first post and immediately thought the dog should go!and as for the irony of the title of the post.....sounds like if the dog really could get hold of a genuine bitch he'd be happy.....

Original poster
TwinSetAndPearls · 07/08/2005 14:47

lol donnie. when we went inot the village for coffee this morning there was an advert form the owner of a poddle bitch wanting a mate. I siad to dp that is just what our dog needs! Can you imagine the puppy of a poodle crossed with a springer!

I have suggested a compromise, the dog lives with his mother during the week, we pay for a dog walker during that time. At weekends he comes home as that is when we have the most time for him anyway.

OP posts:
Tortington · 07/08/2005 15:25

ive ot to say that it does sound selfish to want to get rid of the the dog. its also selfish not to look after the dog properly. its all solved with a dog walker - easy peasy.

the way to approach this with your partner i think is to definatley say he is not looking after the dog properly - becuase he isnt. the poor dog gets no exercise.

hercules · 07/08/2005 15:48

But custardo, she is suffering allergy all day. How is that acceptable?

Original poster
TwinSetAndPearls · 07/08/2005 15:57

I have tried that line custardo, he does love the dog and before we lived together the dog would get two hours a day walk and more on at weekend. Now the dog gets about 15 minutes in the morning and about 30 minutes in the evening. At the weekend he gets a couple of hours a day as we go walking. But the dog clearly needs more and sometimes when life is hectic at home the dog somly gets a quick ten minutes and dogs, especially springers need more.

I have said a few months ago that I was happy to keep the dog if we was exercised properly and neutered otherwise he would have to go as it was unfair on everyone including the dog.

But a dog walker doesn't solve al of our problems, where does the dog go when I am minding children.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 07/08/2005 16:33

Gawd another unneutered dog! Where's my rolling eye icon? Getting your dog spayed or neutered is NOT 'unnatural' or 'cruel' - it is better for the dog's health. Nastiest thing I see around here - all these unneutered animals. As far as puppies being worth a packet, only if a pedigree mates w/a suitable bitch - of course, intact males and bitches in heat aren't that particular. Result: more dogs in shelter or being put down. A responsible pet owner who is not a breeder should have their animal spayed or neutered.

I would NOT send my child to a minder w/a dog, much less an neutered one - they're prone to more agressive behaviour, and the thought of one humping my child makes me sick.

Original poster
TwinSetAndPearls · 07/08/2005 16:54

He isn't aggressive, and has never tried to hump dd, only interested in menstruating women or stuffed horses!. But it isn't nice for those women.

The dog is of very good pedigree so I think dp wants to stud him, which is why he hasn't been mated. My attempts to get the dog neutered haven't been helped by a lovely female springer moving in up the road.

OP posts:
Fio2 · 07/08/2005 17:14

no wonder there are so many unwanted dogs and cats and animals in general in rescue homes around the country if this is peoples attitude. It makes me sick

Fio2 · 07/08/2005 17:15

and I never said the dog was a child didI?

Tortington · 07/08/2005 17:44

no it doesn't solve the allergy issue hercules your quite right. but there has been the suggestion of the dog only using certain rooms - as a compromise - am thinking of tsaps dp - who obviously loves the dog very much.

if the dog is excersised i the morning and evening it shouldn't be shitting in the garden - so maybe it needs to be trained - or feeding times need to be looked at.
i think the dog should be neutered. however i think its interesting that tsaps dp is thinking of putting the dog to stud - therefore has long term plans for the future of the dog.

if the dog was nutered then there shouldnt be a problme with childminding should there? idunno but am thinking prolly not

NomDePlume · 07/08/2005 18:11

This runs deeper than you just not liking the, frankly hideous sounding, dog. If you have a proper allergy to the flea-bag then you can't really 'compromise' on the issue, IMO. The dog needs to go.

NomDePlume · 07/08/2005 18:13

It is not fair for your health and wellbeing to be compromised for the sake of a pet.

expatinscotland · 07/08/2005 18:16

This poor animal deserves a home where the owners have time for him and either stud him or look after his health by having him neutered.

Much as DD and DH love dogs, it'd be unfair to get one - assuming we ever move out of here - if we weren't 100% committed to giving it the care it needs.

hercules · 07/08/2005 18:19

Fio2 - how can you put someone health and quality of life below a dog?

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