DW is hobbyless

[Andy1964]

Not too sure where to post this.

I've always been an outdoors type of person.
Hikeing, Swimming, Surfing, Sailing, Camping, Scuba Diving, Motorcycling, Kite Flying, Football, camping to name but a few.

Obviously all of these take the backburner since marriage and family.
I don't regret it, It's not a problem for me or DW.

Unlike me the DW has no interests which I find quite strange and sometimes frustrating.

She is a SAHM so could do with some interests to break up her week but NOTHING presses her buttons.

I'd love something we can do together but still can't find anything.

We have two DS, 7 and 10, we have been camping twice, they loved it, DW put on a brave face, not her idea of fun.

So, list a few interests that might spark and interest in DW either by herself or with me or as a family.

DH is interested in horse riding, running, rowing and mountain biking. He probably does more horse riding than anything else.
I like more 'creative' things like sewing, writing, jewellery making (I did a silversmithing course the year before last) and have just applied for hair and make-up courses at college.
I would suggest she checks out the local sports clubs and the local community college (for list of courses). She might just see something that she'd never thought of that would catch her eye - like pottery-making, millinery, creative writing, a new language, rugby, tennis.... There are just so many things out there, it's a question of finding out what's available locally.

I like

cooking
gardening
and am doing some distance learning stuff - she could check out the OU or do an evening class or something

as well as teh obvious stuff

MNing
watching telly
throwing things at the kids
etc

what about walking

rather than hiking IYSWIM

just going for a nice walk all together

lol cat

Music/dance/learn an instrument
Books
Learn a language
Painting/crafts
Gardening
Tennis/ice skating/horse riding
Trying new recipes/baking

I can go on forever. I had an ex who was never getting enthousiastic about anything and i find it strange too. But as earlier poster said, was she like this when you met?

i suppose it is a hobby, OMDB.. but i don't class it as something i have to make time for specifiaclly...

When you say she has no interests, do you mean she doesn't do any sports/play an instrument etc, or do you mean she never does anything except stay in and look after the kids?

If she does do other stuff (meets friends, goes shopping, reads books/magazines, watches TV) then those are her hobbies. They might just not fit the traditional definition of "hobbies"...

oooh dancing

I like dancing

Thing is I do "do stuff" - but nothing official or organised. When people say "what are your hobbies" I don't really have any. Whereas DH has about 6 "official" hobbies.

Is your wife like that? Does she have stuff she enjoys doing but doesn't classify it as a hobby? I mean I would never classify putting some music on in the front room and prancing around as a hobby, but if I did the same thing at a gym it would be. it's all about perceptions.

Or does she really genuinely never do anything she enjoys/for leisure?

archery

rock climbing

pot holing

some women go wild for cross stich

What did she do befoer having children?

What did she study at university? (or whatever her highest education was?)

There is loads out there. What does she fill her days with now while the kids are at school? She must do something just for herself?

I tihnk anything can be a hobby, if you are passionate about it, regardless of whether or not it is n 'official' club type organised tihng

What is pot holing?

Beware

The coven will be here soon to call you controlling

singing?

i do it on and off as i find good groups, so:

• did a year or two on and off of monday nights, banging out show tunes in a can't sing will sing kind of group, got bored eventually
• then joined a different local group doing charity Messiah which was about 3 months rehearsal on tuesdays
• few months later did something harder and smaller in same location, somewhat different group
• got invited to sing in a couple of different xmas carol groups, which was alcoholic fun
• occassionally drop into a little local group which does only singing by ear in multi harmony, is a bit hard, really makes you listen

nice because of shifting nature of groups, usually time limited to a performance, so you get a feeling of building up to something

DoggBlogging?

Photography - can be expensive though.

There is a short course you can do through the OU too so its something 'focused'

www3.open.ac.uk/study/undergraduate/course/t189.htm

She would need a decent DSLR though and youd need to think about future requirements for lenses, flash, tripods etc etc etc etc so like I say, it can be expensive.

Winter ascent of Denali by the Cassin Ridge route, maybe.

I'm not sure why you are so concerned that she doesn't have a hobby really.

Surely it's her choice.

My db once said this to me. But at that time he was a bit of an anorak - gong to a model railway club and playing a tuba.

If a partner said it to me I would prob tell them to concentrate on their own hobbies and butt out of my interests/controlling what I do in my free time.

OTOH its nice if there is some activity you can all do as a family.

I've never had a hobby - think I have got a short attention span but do have many interests and people tell me I am good company.

Laquitar I probably spelt it wrong but going down pot-holes, like caving.

sincitylover

TBF, I don't think OP comes across as controlling, just genuinely wanting to help.

Thanks Over!

Oh and pottery! You know the one you use the wheel.

the coven always delivers

Theatre
Pub walks
Cinema or home cinema nights
Family trip to a fun pool, aqua park
Cycle rides
Tribute nights (who can resist an Abba tribute night?!!!!!)
Day classes at college in just about anything
Voluntary work
Baking/cooking/ dinner parties
Car booting

Geocaching is a great family activity, it can be as active (or not) as you like. I hate going for walks etc, but I love it if there's a hidden box to find at the end, and my eight year old loves it. Once you've got a GPS its free too.

Go out for dinner.

Have a day at the beach/park with you and the boys kiteflying ot cycling or surfing or footballing or whatever, and she can sit with a paper and nod and smile at you.

I don't really do organised activities. I like to potter, read, chat. I think it does frustrate DH a bit, because he likes to have a plan, whereas on my days off I really don't.

TheFallenMadonna

With respect, going out to dinner is hardly a hobby, is it?