Morning breath and sex

[illgetyoubutler]

Hate it? Or dont you care?
How do you deal with it?

DH has killer morning breath so on the rare occasions we do it it's doggy or me on top and no kissing! Mostly he's asleep and DS is awake in the mornings so not much opportunity.

We both ignore it unless there was major alcohol/curry/garlic etc the night before which has returned.

The thought of having to aletrnate the taste of tea with the taste of willy at 8am is enough to make me heave.

innit TPL?

I can just about get on board with a bit of midless shagging in the morning, but ORAL at 8 in the morning?

I think that oral sex first thing in the morning would be a little, um, pongy too.

Spoons is the best way for a quiet bed and no whiffs.

I honestly just read your post as "using spoons is the best way..." and I thought you were still talking about oral sex.

I am going insane.

Oh God, now I have got a horrible image of Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown in my head

Haven't had sex in the morning since about 1992 so don't feel I can contribute to this discussion .

Ugh - and I keep imagining my partner using a spoon to perform oral on me.

MIND BLEACH TO TABLE 4 PLEASE.

We have never had morning sex. Ever. I couldn't do anything sex-wise until teeth brushed, bladder emptied and all appropriate bits freshly washed, and unfortunately the bathroom is down two flights of stairs, past ds's room. Absolutely zero chance of sneaking down and back up without him waking up and demanding cereal!

at Tea during sex! (sorry Mal) very proper..
Picturing you in a bed cap and Mr Mal in a night shirt..

'is the train ready to arrive at the station yet Mr Mal?'

'just let me read the tea leaves Mrs Mal'

again sorry Mal.. just made me chuckle.

Apart from that.. don't kiss.

Good lord, You people!

In the garage? Oral? Doggy?

Now, I'm a bit of a goer, but I could just about muster up some spoonage in the morning; asuming we were in an hotel sans enfants.
DH would have to be cajoled, too.(Not a morning person.)

In the garage? Across the bonnet of the car? Blimey.

< buttons cardigan up to neck >

Doesn't it leave, erm, stains on his paintwork?

What is it with you lot. Morning sex is the BEST, although we seldom get jiggy, 80% of the time we do, its in the morning.

TIP: Drink a big glass of water as soon as you wake up. No oral sex though, we're British.

I'm pretty useless in a morning before I've had a cup of tea ( or a wee tbh).
Spooning's my preference for a morning tumble < lazy > but DH does like me on top.

I've never considered the garage for morning sex, or at any other time of day but there is an engine hoist frame in there that would hold a sex swing , hmmm, interesting....
Nah, too cold, damp and full of mice, not to mention the windows!

Actually MW, DH does a cracking impression of Mr Chumley-warner! I don't have a bed cap, maybe I should get one?
Might help with my Victorian housemaid fantasies?

Mal....

''In the garage? Across the bonnet of the car? Blimey.''

Stop putting thoughts into my head BS.. I am currently chaste dontcha know?

You lot are better then pain killers...

MW, it was NinaJane who enjoys the morning trips to the garage, not me.

Our garage has been converted to a room but when it was a garage I suppose we might just have managed to have got lively over the recycling, the kids' Christmas presents and a load of cycle helmets. If it wasn't so fecking freezing in there. With mice.

what's a sex swing??

And Mal, what problem does Mr Mal have? (mind boggles)

I made the mistake of not going for a wee beforehand on Christmas morning ( so I could surprise him by waking him up nicely ) , I had to stop and run for the loo mid-bonk, DH isn't into watersport.

I must be strange ( well D'uh) I like going down on DH the morning after a good night, I like him a bit "whiffy" .

I hope no-one's eating their dinner.

I agree with you Mal. I like DP a bit musty.... it's sort of feral. Must be all those pheromones.... mmmmmm

Ooh, this has cheered me up!

Morning Breath is to do with dehydration I think, so drink more water! (generally, but in the morning too should help)

I am wistful for the days of a DH with a libido set to above Minimal. Hangover mornings were pretty good, and slightly saucy (although obviously not fierce hangovers).

Defluffy, he's got a really bad back/neck/shoulder problem that a very expensive quack chiropractor hasn't sorted out . The NHS are proving utterly useless and he's got to wait another 3 weeks for a fucking scan!

www.bondara.co.uk/bondage-gear/sex-swings/290/sex-swing.html

They look ACE.