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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

He is just messing me about isnt he.

121 replies

notcool · 12/05/2010 09:55

Had a first date about 6 weeks ago. All went a bit quiet after he said i scared him off. I had a go at him about it. Anyway - a month on and he said he does really like me and would like to see me again.
He asked me out for this saturday.
havent had much/any contact this last week as ive been busy.
Was on msn last night and i asked him if we were still on for sat. he said no, hes going to be away and be busy for a few weekends after that.

he is just messing me about isnt he. We can only really see each other weekends beacuse of the distance and work committments ( mine, not his) but if he wanted to see me he could.

i said that i wished him all the best in the future but that i was sorry i could no longer talk to him.

I was expecting to be deleted off his facebook and msn. but im not. Which means he will contact me like nothing has happened in a few weeks. i know it.

but im worth more than that.

can anyone explain to me what is the point?

OP posts:

larrysgal · 12/05/2010 11:08

Oh, and my older sister got stood up a week before her wedding after the guy had spend two grand of her money on his stag do abroad. HE was a fucking cunting tosser arsehole. Your Internet geezer is just a bit of a twat.

SpiritualKnot · 12/05/2010 11:08

Have you blocked him yet?

LadyThompson · 12/05/2010 11:10

He sounds a bit non-committal, you sound...er...a little intense. It's a terrible combination. Stop obsessing about him, it's never going to work out. And if you want a relationship to flourish in the future with someone else, don't have a go at someone after one date. It is offputting to say the least.

larrysgal · 12/05/2010 11:11

What does SK stand for?

WombFrootShoot · 12/05/2010 11:13

SpiritualKnot?

PfftThePinkoLeftyDragon · 12/05/2010 11:13

Maybe you should just chalk the whole mess up to experience, lost his presence online and show a little more caution with the next one...

ForStately · 12/05/2010 11:15

I'm sorry but you're probbly one of about 50 women he has on the go. When none of them are available you'll do. He's using you to get his rocks off while still probably looking for 'the one' (or just enjoying all the attention)

And please don't put yourself at risk by doing silly things on webcam.

A tale for you. My DP was invited to his mate's house a few years back. When they all got there they settled down to play computer games etc but the friend put a video on. Was of himself having sex with a woman who DID NOT know the camera was there. A while through he turned to the camera and mouthed 'up the arse' with a wink. That poor woman. And obviously he is a twat of the highest order. So, in short, be a bit more careful and a bit more choosy.

ForStately · 12/05/2010 11:16

Larrysgal - who is Larry poppet?

posieparker · 12/05/2010 11:17

So you've met once?

leave it.

cheesesarnie · 12/05/2010 11:18

larry sk is spiritualknot.

op-you sound like a teenager whos yet to learn about internet safety.you 'know' all these bad things but you wont stop.leave it!hes a loser but even if he was a nice man(which after one date you wouldnt really be able to tell,although nice men dont tend to get people theyve just met to dress up on the webcam as far as i know!)-your being scary and coming on far too strong!

larrysgal · 12/05/2010 11:19

Good god, that is bloody grim, ForStately!!

Is SK spiritualknot then? How come, when the name is right above the post? It can't be, that would just be daft. Or are there different settings where you don't see posters' names? I'm new, I don't know this stuff yet.

larrysgal · 12/05/2010 11:20

I don't know larry poppet. It's not me though- different poster.

WombFrootShoot · 12/05/2010 11:21

LG - some people sign off their posts. They just do!

WFS
x

haha

cheesesarnie · 12/05/2010 11:24

ForStately · 12/05/2010 11:24

Larrys - yeah slightly concerned me that DP and friends actually watched it, but I think he felt he couldn't really leave. He probbly neglected to mention the bit where they all had a collective wank, but never mind

Larry, I know you're new, saw your thread yesterday I think it was. I think the poster in question was signing off her post. Most conusing I agree when her name is right above it. Maybe its a new trend, I will try now:

FS x

Original poster

notcool · 12/05/2010 11:25

i expect i am one of many.Im not that naieve.
Just naieve enough to belive what hes said.

I know he is very much looking for ' the one' he thinks he will know the instant he sees her. he is deluded and set to be a loney old man.

When hes not being an arse he is actually very very nice. But when he is an arse he is horrid.

I think this is the problem with online dating. You either need to meet really quickly and have all these converstions face to face.Else you fall into the trap of talking for ages and knowing someone without really knowing them and boundaires/etiquite/behaviour patterns are all a bit blurred.

again - i only had a go at him after he got me to dress up in something 'weird' for him. on webcam then he vanished on me. I was quite rightly fuming and felt taken advantag eof. and i think i was right to have a go at him. one date or not. That was not nice behaviour.

Im done with him now though and im glad ive told him so.

OP posts:

ForStately · 12/05/2010 11:27

If you don't tell me what the weird thing was RIGHT THIS MINUTE, I will, ermm I'm not too sure but it WILL NOT be pretty.

FS x

WombFrootShoot · 12/05/2010 11:29

Yes what was the weird thing?

WFS
xx

posieparker · 12/05/2010 11:30

From this point, all things considered do you really want anything more to do with him?

Original poster

notcool · 12/05/2010 11:33

no i dont.
thats what i told him last night. Im done.
He is messing me about. he knows he is. He can tell me he isnt, but he is.

I just wondered if it was me and that is was normal for it all to be so difficult with so much waiting around and cancelled plans the whole time. Or if my insticts which i have been ignoring are actually right.

The werid thing. ball gag.

OP posts:

thehillsarealive · 12/05/2010 11:36

i would just chalk this up to a bad experience. In future dont dress up for someone after 1 date, that really isnt cool!

Block him, he is not worth it.

notcool - are you the one that went on a date and then texted him and called him allsorts of nasty things because he hadnt been in touch with you? Sorry, if I have you confused with someone else.

ForStately · 12/05/2010 11:37

Fucking ball gag. you are definitely a troll, vaire funny though, like your style

FS x

WombFrootShoot · 12/05/2010 11:37

Ball gag?

BALL GAG?

Whoa!

WFS
xx

ForStately · 12/05/2010 11:38

WFS, Are you going to continue with the WFS X across the boards?? I quite like my FS X,might stick with it

posieparker · 12/05/2010 11:38

notcool, change your name and live up to that instead.

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