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Original poster

have you ever REALLY disliked a friend's child?

49 replies

nightowl · 30/07/2005 04:12

this is happening to me. i feel sorry for the boy and i try my best to do anything for him that i can (ie, decorating his room the other week because his mum doesnt know how to). etc etc. but no-matter what i do...he seems to really dislike me. which in turn makes me dislike him. ive tried so hard but he seems to hate me. ive been trying to be nice to him for over a year now and all he does is take the p**s and wreck my house. shall i just give up?

OP posts:
suzywong · 30/07/2005 04:37

yes
he's had his chance he's muffed it.

Harsh but fair IMO

tigermoth · 30/07/2005 06:49

How old is he? The older he is, the more responsiblity he has to take for his own behaviour. If he was very young, you could blame his parents and his tender years for the lack of politeness,gratitude and respect. I think you need to be clear in your head how much you can expect of a child his age. But it sounds like he's old enough to know better.

I agree with suzywong - he's had his chance and muffed it. Tell him off if he's wrecking your house, just like you'd tell off your own children. Let him know your limits -that might bring him up short. If not, time to say goodbye. You might be doing him a favour in the long run, as he'll realise he can't take the P**s forever.

Over the years, I have disliked a couple of my oldest son's friends. I gave them chances, they didn't take them, they are no longer welcome here. I feel a bit guilty for disliking a child, but tolerance can only stretch so far.

Tortington · 30/07/2005 16:18

i agree. i have little time for other peoples children anyway - but rude children i dislike intensely.

i told off a 12 year old for swearing at her mum in front of her mum. and told the mum i was going home as i had enough of my own to deal with without anyone elses.

i have ahd a teenager in my house - stayed over night when mum chucked him out. have helped him fill in a job application for tescos - then he supplies my son with weed - well he can go fck himself with a large pole.

dont be nice anymore - he will prolly crawl round you to be noticed.

LittleStarsweeper · 30/07/2005 16:22

Nah, I think one of them is a bit dopey but I love all kids. My DS appears rude but is shy and withdraws in company. At home its a different matter! I could never be a social worker or aid worker i would end up like the little old woman who lives in a shoe. (i would bring them all home with me)!

sobernow · 30/07/2005 16:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittleStarsweeper · 30/07/2005 16:40

which one of his parents do you think he is like? He must get it from somewhere!

Twiglett · 30/07/2005 16:42

yes give up .. you'll probably find he likes you more when he thinks you don't give a damn

kids are like cats .. they throng around people who actively dislike them

compo · 30/07/2005 16:43

this is going to sound awful but sometimes I don't like my nephew very much and he's only 18 moinths ffs. He's very whiny, clingy, snotty which is exactly like my little angel but for some reason I just don't like him very much

snafu · 30/07/2005 16:46

Can I just say a big to sw for use of the phrase 'muffed it'? Criminally underused, imo.

Thank you.

Caligula · 30/07/2005 16:46

Oh god yes. Can't stand the little blighters. Such hard work. Just have to put up with them until they're teenagers and will just thankfully grunt at me and disappear to another part of the house when they come round, to all our satisfaction. I'm not looking forward to my kids being teenagers, but I am looking forward their friends being them.

snafu · 30/07/2005 16:50

I don't actually particularly like anyone else's kids, tbh. But there is one little girl I know who is just such a miserable so-and-so - she has never cracked a smile at anyone in all the time I've known her, and I'm afraid I really really don't like her.

And she's only two. [insert shameful icon here]

myturn · 30/07/2005 16:54

Oooh, yes. One of my friends' little girl is incredibly spoilt and demanding. Dd2 is occasionally summoned to play with her, which involves dd2 being ordered about the entire time and 'friend' regularly having temper tantrums. Dd2 generally copes with it all good-naturedly, but must have been pushed too far last time and completely lost it. Ended up shrieking at the top of her lungs at the other girl, telling her she hated her and hadn't wanted to be there anyway and that 'friend' was a spoilt brat. The mother phoned me in a fury wanting dd2 to apologise, but I couldn't help silently congratulating dd2. She will not be going back...

LittleStarsweeper · 30/07/2005 17:03

snafu, its a shame cos quite often the quiet sullen ones are the shy ones who completely shine out of the spot light. I get your point though it is off putting. My grandmother always used to say If you do nowt else just put a smile on your face, you will always be remembered. Its true.

alexsmum · 30/07/2005 17:38

got to say i never completely understand it when people sya' i love children'
i love my own children but find other people's a little harder to take!!
god, one of my friends kids is a horror! he strops,he whinges he hits and the whole time he's carrying on like this my hands are itching to give a quick slap on the back of the legs! ( don't shoot me down i'm joking)my friend is lovely though- how she ended up with a child like him i'll never know.

joash · 30/07/2005 17:49

Oh yes and still do now they're grown up. One of my closest friends children (Boy and girl) are horrible, obnoxious, ignorant, think the world revolves around them, rude, often foul mouthed, arrogant and genuinely think they are gods gift to the opposite sex (actually same sex in the males case. They are both now in their 20 and I still dislike them, espceially the son.

trefusis · 30/07/2005 18:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Donbean · 30/07/2005 18:22

Cant say that i dislike as such, i find them trying.
I even wonder why the parents want to go any where with these children because 20 mins for me in the room or in the car with them has my nerves in tatters.
Its fair to say that these children are perfectly normal and are nice children but they grate on me with their constant tittle tattle, questions and whining. "i want,i want, i want" allot too.
I am disapointed that i am not more tolerant of them as i love their mum to bits.

unicorn · 30/07/2005 19:07

think I'm a bit along lines of custardo here. kids can be a PITA.

Sore point this, as I have found some of my dd's pals are totally insolent - and have absolutely ziltch respect for me - as an adult - they seem to think I am one of their 6 year old chums.

No, I don't really like them.

TwinSetAndPearls · 30/07/2005 19:14

I find a close friend's daughter very hard work , we have her to stop every now and again as dd adores her.

The girl in question is spoilt rude and ungrateful, I don't mind naughty children (just as well really ) but rude spoilt children irritate me beyond belief. She is seven so a few years older than my dd but I actually find my soon to be four year old to be better mannerred and better company.

I find it hard as her mum has been very good to me and thinks her dd is an absolute angel and I know she would be heartbroken if she knew how I felt. So we keep having her over and I keep smiling sweetly while counting to ten under my breath.

northstar · 30/07/2005 19:19

Borrowed quote coming up.........
"Children are like farts, your own aren't too bad but other peoples are intolerable"

collision · 30/07/2005 19:46

I really dislike my friends child tho I have tried. He is rude and disrespectful and teaches ds to be disobedient (which he doesnt need any help with!!) Dh told the boys yesterday not to put mud all over the newly washed play kitchen which was outside.....so what did they do? Wrecked it! I could hear the child telling ds what to do and his mother sits there smiling and telling me what an angel this child is.

I know this seems like nothing but in this heat and with my PMT it was NOT funny. He also swears, spits, throws things at people and is obnoxious. GRRRRRRRRR. Glad we are moving in 4 weeks!

WestCountryLass · 30/07/2005 20:09

I don't like my neice and nephew, they are intolerable. I was with them and their Mum in the park the other day and all you can hear is them moaning and whinging and getting told off and then telling their Mum off and ordering her about whilst she just shouted some more at them. Other people were moaning and rolling their eyes at them, course I never owned up that I was with them and kept a wide berth

Twiglett · 31/07/2005 07:48

ok I dislike some kids' behaviour and their influence on my children but I get filled with red mist when I see simpering ineffectual parenting .. fgs grow up and give your kid some boundaries

niceglasses · 31/07/2005 09:05

Yeah but think you have to bear in mind that your kids are probably the ones that wind up your friends, well, I bet mine are anyway!!

Really really don't want to start an argument at all, know this is lighthearted blah blah, but to say a four year old has "no personality" seems a bit harsh to me. Maybe he is picking up on you not liking him, kids are brilliant at sensing that type of thing.....I dunno, just a thought.

LittleStarsweeper · 31/07/2005 12:55

oooh, I am truly shocked. I cant believe all mummys dont like other peoples children. All kids are innocent (well to a certain age anyway) if their behaviour is intolerable it is because thats how they have been taught to be...mistakes that we make in parenting skills, you know, we all do it. If a child is having a moment or acts in a certain way its not their fault. Little Angels a gift from God. Its us adults that ruin em!