ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No. 4

[IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowIt]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Is there room in the commune for another one? I feel the need to escape today.

I was doing much better - working on dropping DS's nap to get him to go to sleep earlier than 9.30 - 10.30. Its tough keeping him up but I've managed 2 days so far.

Then today I meet H outside the library to hand DS over. DS is grumpy, tired and foul tempered and I tell him we're going to look for Daddy and he runs off. I yell at him to stop, he doesn't and I don't speed up to get him quick enough. I'm not overly worried because I have drilled into him about roads and he stops at the kerb 99% of the time. I'm also shattered and at the end of my tether.

He texts me later saying he is "not happy with my lack of control" over DS. All he sees is that ds could have run out into the road. He tells me if I can't control him I shouldn't let him off the reigns / out of the pushchair.

I have been trying to be hands off about his parenting, ignoring or playing down things I'm not happy with because he's got to parent in his own way, and I get this. I don't like the way he lets DS put his hands in the dog's mouth and doesn't seem to make an effort to stop him, but I have just tried to gently suggest that it is something they might like to work on as its not the most hygenic thing.

I've just been in tears for an hour, and I hate that he can make me feel like this. I really need to work up the courage to get an appointment with my counsellor because I need to figure out some way to deal with the birth

Chair that sounds horrible.

He's being pretty insensitive and silly saying that.

I think if you're finding things tough it's defo a good idea to see the counsellor. Should help you get into a good zone for the birth defo. I've found that I feel good after I've been to see my counsellor so don't have to pluck up courage (the only issue I have is with paying someone to hear me burble!). So pick up the phone, it's a good idea and you'll feel great when you've done it I think.

(( hugs to you ))

Maybees will no doubt be along soon with some crystals to sort you out so that will help too. And Chair how about doing something else for you too to pamper yourself to make to feel better..........bath, candles, RL friend you can burble on to ..

Or just talk to us!

Oh Chairman sending you ((hugs)) and .

My DD can run away at times now a big girl and not on reins. She also stops near kerb. You're heavily pregnant, that doesn't make for moving fast. You're a good mum! Believe in yourself and ignore him, don't even reply, if possible IMO.

Another ((hug)) for you x

I tried whinging to a friend and she said she'd be annoyed too if she saw her 2yo running towards the road. Tried to explain it wasn't quite like that but I feel like everything I say is just making myself seem worse.

I'm going to give up on today.

It's the way he worded his text that's upsetting. It's natural to be concerned if a toddler races towards the kerb but it's the way he did it and the way he put you down

Ignore her too. Take a nice bath or something.

Toughest job in the world doing last few weeks of pregnancy with toddler ,but we need a plan for Miaow so 2nite is Miaow night and we will all suggest a positive action or thought for Miaow.This is all about empowering and strengthening so no negative energies please,thinking caps on ladies will be back in a minute.....start with feet ,I'm thinking massage and pedicure (nice polish)....

Chair, I'm thinking of you glowing wih pride with a beautiful baby in your arms smelling the top of its head (read on another thread about there being nothing nicer than the smell of a baby's head and it's true!)

And hands Miaow can your sil give you a massage gentle circles just with neutral oil ....and your head just rubbing your head is nice......and relaxation lying down comfy and doing some deep breathing ....read somewhere recently,choose a colour for negativity and that is your out breath and a colour for positivity and that is your in breath)i choose dark green smoke out and baby pink air in.Calm your mind....calm your body just have a moment with your baby...

Waves to all........

Chairmum, I can understand why you would be very upset over h's text. V insensitive & inappropriate. Try to let it go, that maybe he was having a bad day etc. Just try to keep your focus on yourself & babs. A nice bath sounds good advice.

How's everyone else doing??

Anyone make any progress on getting laid or anything else exciting..........

Me, am still busy cleaning, am really beginning to regret starting this. Can I ask a question, does anyone else have white skirting board & doors all over their house & do you actually clean them?? Have obviously neglected mine for too long!

Got my hair done today & had a moment of panic when I first saw the colour. It's a lot darker then I normally have (usually blondish). But actually once it was dried I'm quite pleased with it. Have broke away from the dumpling blonde trend though .

Another thing, do normal people actually do things like clean their light fittings on a regular basis??

I should prob actually move over to the fly place at this stage............

Wish I could see a pic of your gorgeous hair!

I clean my light fittings if they look dirty! My skirting boards etc are all white and the hoover tube gets dust, this is only done if noticeably bad, I never wipe them

Prob not best person to comment me thinks Bathroom done weekly here, kitchen work tops wiped daily of course. Hoover every other day thanks to my 2 biscuit eaters. But dusting, barely ever. Shame on me!

glad hair cool.......no to cleaning paintwork mud and soot roolz ....

Miaow also move up a gear on the self centredness,remember this doesnt mean selfish and is a positive thing.You are the leading lady in your own blockbuster movie and you could maybe set yourself some boundaries or adapt where your at because you have a baby on a growth spurt right now and you are in your 3rd trimester.Anything you can possibly avoid doing, avoid doing,the nourishing starts 2morrow dont think you cant(I always said i cant ,loads to do, not got time)put yourself at the top of the list,set yourself little bits to do and if people offer to help let them clean up the dishes etc while you do something quiet and nice.Look after yourself mate and keep posting we are all here for you x

Thanks for the voice of support Tea, obviously I just hadn't been looking too much at my light fittings or skirting board recently .

Omg Maybees, have to dash when I read nourishing above, I just remembered I bought 3 cakes FOR ME in the supermarket tonight (reward for cleaning) & stashed them in cupboard. Off to make cuppa.........

I will have to just eat toast and imagine cake but away for cuppa myself.

Was in a real busy room today about 60 folk and thought so many weak nervy stressed people out there just wanting to be told what to do,think they feel safer that way; real important type got up and gave us a talk she asked for questions at the end and i asked "who are you?"First rule of public speaking i find is to always introduce yourself ...she didnt; i asked her and i think she was a bit pissed at me.

Anyway hope everyone is voting 2morrow ....remember our ancestors the suffragette movement...NO APATHY ALLOWED !

Have just eaten two of the cakes but really they were horrible, raspberry & white chocolate tarts, what was I thinking!

Toast would have been nicer Maybees, have just had to have a twix to get horrible taste out of my mouth!!!

Well done to you on your assertiveness, 3 cheers for Maybees, way to go girl!

Ah there you all are.

I thought we were watching Dezzy H

Ah well I fell asleep in the middle anyway.

Now Starting, I have to confirm that NONE of this cleaning is normal. It is however to be excused as you are a dumpling and bound to be behaving a little strangely.

Maybees, I will be voting. I seem to have voting slips for XH here also. A shame I have no other bloke here I can give them too. I am working on that.

Another thing for Chair, I know it is silly but I am in love with my new night cream. Just have a bath and cover yourself in lots of smelly something. You will then feel really nice and be able to have a lovely sleep.

Talking of tarts my favourite would have to be pastry with fresh fruit inside think it is french will aim to buy one 2morrow.
Went for weetabix instead of toast and just bought a phone prob cheaper than spending another day on ebay would have bought too many bargains.

Totally agree on the moisturiser thing happy do my arms every morning with passion flower boots natural collection ,just reminds me all day the importance of nourishing yourself ,maybe its passion fruit dunno but def passion involved somewhere ...

Hi Happy, thank you for telling me it's not normal & also for excusing me temporary cleaning insanity . Believe this or not, I'm still not even finished the upstairs!! I keep trying to motivate myself by saying I'm nearly half way there & that downstairs won't be so bad. This is complete denial, I have a whole white fuking staircase to tackle yet & I could weep at the thought but my kitchen is completely white too!!!!!!!!!! I had of course organised for MD to come back & paint all the varnished white doors, skirting boards & staircase (he wouldn't do it with dc's around during winter, said it would take too long to dry), excuse the pun but I completely fuked that one up didn't I..........

Hmm could always get him back for temporary relief - kind of kill two birds with one stone?

And have to cope with "mammy watching over us" & "this is nice"............... No, think scrubbing with cif is the easier option.......

Cannot believe I actually went there!!!!!!!!! Makes me cringe slightly when I think of it .

Just been looking at meditations,chakras and reiki on you tube going to do a chillout thursday when my dcs go to bed 2morrow ,no machines just emptiness...My new power will be my peace and calm .I am going to slow down ,teach myself to listen more and lose my stress .....I am centre stage and my mission is peace and quiet ,that is my nourishment...

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