I don't need anyone telling me I don't love my DP or I should leave him if I'm not happy, and I don't particularly want to be told I should be more understanding.
Most of the time I am... but right now I just feel a bit pissed off with our lot.
Can other people talk to me about their similar experiences? And what is the sensible thing to do? Just remain optimistic that one day soon he will be fine and get a normal job and live a normal life. I literally hate that we have to get housing benefit etc.
When I met my DP I knew he had a history of medical problems, but he did think there was nothing new on the way.
It probably brought out the maternal side of me to have to take him to Doctor's appointments and hospital appointments/ops.
Now we have a toddler to look after though its really becoming a PITA.
I don't know how to feel about it at the moment.
It is not like living with a normal human being right now. I go out to school training to teach, other people look after DS most days while my DP sleeps and generally hangs around the house.
When I first met him I gradually came to realise he had agoraphobia and helped him to come to terms with that and approach the GP about it.
He hasn't really had any proper treatment, and usually doesn't find it easy to get to new places for treatment, even if he took a taxi to the place he might give up if he has to cross the road to get to the surgery etc, due to general anxiety.
He had a stroke a couple of years ago and for some reason the symptoms of that only seem to be showing up now. He was working until a few weeks after the stroke.
The damage done by the stoke caused difficulty walking and worsens his anxiety, he feels people are looking at him and see something is wrong. It is quite hard to see something is wrong with his walking except he does feel very unstable and feels the ground is not level. He walks as though he were on a very rocky boat on the sea.
He is completely used to staying at home and sleeping. I feel like telling him how useless he is.
Some days he is ok... usually Saturday night when he wants to go out with his friends. He says the drinking suppresses his anxiety and he cannot feel the problems so strongly.
Currently he is trying a really strong medication to deal with his anxiety which is making it all so much worse. He gets numb limbs, insomnia, mood swings. And I've noticed him being randomly controlling, i.e. last night taking DS out of bed to stay up an extra hour with Daddy. I couldn't talk him out of it. I feel I have to be a control freak with him at the moment, telling him to do specific tasks just so I can feel he has done something in the day to contribute.
Just want to send him away from me, but at the same time I know this is a good opportunity to all spend time together, that some families miss out on just due to long working hours, etc.