Escort Agencies

[Picadilly]

How do these work then?

I've discovered for DH's google search he has looked for blonde escorts.

2nd time in two years I've discovered something like this.

What's going on?

escort agencies are prostitution

I am so sorry

do you know if has followed though and made any arrangements to employ anyone from these agencies ?

or is it more of a curiosity/cheap thrills kind of thing ?

Well, yeah, I'd figured out the prostitution bit.

It was on his work computer. We work together, and I can account for pretty much every second of his day.

He's at home, so I can't post much now.

His mind, at the very least, is elsewhere, that's what's going on.

Some guys look at prostitute/escort sites when they have no intention of booking, because in some weird way it's not like looking at porn (though the results are the same...)

I don't know if you see what I mean, I'm not very articulate at present.

This has happened to me - I've discovered this 3 times (twice in the last 6 months). DH says he was just looking at it for tittilation. I'm not sure I believe him. It has made me feel like crap frankly and I think about it every day.

My heart goes out to you.

I think there is a BIG difference between looking at porn, which is detached and no actual skin to skin contact occurs, no conversation, no cash exchanged, and booking an escort.

Either way, he obviously has the IDEA of an escort in his head, which is concerning...even if he's just looking at it with no intention of doing it at all, rather, to fantasise about doing it there must be something going on his head.

Why do you not confront him? I confront my OH about his internet history all the time, he's always looking at porn and it bothers me...

For exH it was phone sex. Makes you feel so not like a natural woman....

Not all escort's are prostitutes, they can be just for dinner date's or company, sex is a extra.

He's got a wife for dinner dates or company, or even sex, tssb.

Yes i know but what i am saying is dont jump to conclusion's, it might be he has had sex with them, i'm not excusing him, im just saying.

not had sex with them

I have quite a few friends who are, or have been escorts. The 'just for dinner date' client happens, according to them, about .09 % of the time.
However looking isn't booking - as someone else said, a man may feel that looking at escorts and fantasizing is a thrill enough on its own, while being aware that he wouldn't actually take it any further. ANd if you start trying to forbid a partner to have fantasies you are on very dodgy ground.

What does your H say about it, though? Because he's the one you really have to discuss it with. There are any number of explanations, all of which depend on a variety of factors that only you and he know about - what your relationship is like in general, what your sex life is like, how you both feel about it, etc etc.

What SGB said. I look at escort sites sometimes, and I'm definitely not looking for a blonde hooker. Also, in my previous life I sometimes booked escorts for clients (I know, I know). If you can "account for every minute of his time" he can't have been off hookering, can he?

Though it could well be a reason why he sometimes thinks about it.

Why not ask him?

OP what was he looking at on the first occasion?

I cannot ask him. I just can't.
When he came back to the office he realised I'd been on his comupter,(I inadvertantly looked at his search history as I was waiting for another site to load) so if I was going to bring it up, I should have done it then.

He definately hasn't had time for dinner, etc. It would have had to be very quick sex, if anything.

I cant' remember the actual search the first time, but it was something relating to girls clothing, I think, which is why I clicked on it, thinking it might have been something I'd been looking at. (That time it was on shared laptop) And an escort agency poped up.

I did say I'd seen what he'd beenlookingat , when he came home, but the TV was on, and he gave me a funny look, and carried on wathcing TV. I presumed someone must have told him about that site, and you woudln't have just stumbled across it, but searching for blonde escorts is totally obvious.

He really isn't the using prostitute type; he doesnt' have a massive sex drive, and isn't really blokey. Or am I just naive?

Maybe a bit naive OP.
Have you looked at the Blonde Escorts website?

I think you could just be being a little naive, without wanting to upset you or overly concern you. Clearly he is looking at sex outside of your marriage.

It is up to you how you proceed. If you feeel it is going to continue to bother you, it could very easily sour your relationship. I presume that you love him and don't want this to happen and I really can't see a reason not to confront him unless he has a tendancy towards rageful behaviour?

Does the idea of him thinking about sex with a prostitute bother you? Or are you more liberal about it? If you can live with him fantastising then maybe just keep a watchful eye out for any more suspicious behaviour, long periods away, missing cash, funny about his personal banking etc. But don't let paranoia take over.

He might have just been looking at the site to build up fantasies about escorts etc in his head, not to actually meet or shag one. I think that's probably fairly common. It can be easier to fantasise about doing something really filthy with someone random, rather than someone you love. Men especially often feel that they don't want to 'dirty' their DW with their grubby thoughts. It might just be wank fodder.

I second twinklesky's last paragraph. If you start noticing him behaving differently, worry then.

Are you blonde?

No, I'm not blonde.

Do you believe he would actually use escorts? I'm sure 9/10 men who access the site never even meet an escort. I guess what matters is how you feel about him in general, does this fit with your view of him?

My dh has a thing for blondes, I am as far removed from blonde as you can get. I choose to see it as a compliment that he chooses to be with me seeing as Im not his usual type.

What are you going to do? Confront him? Let it slide? Its obviously not going anywhere or been anywhere given you can account for his whereabouts.

I agree with a pp that it may be his 'safe' way of looking at porn/fantasising.

Between 10% and 15% of men in the UK use prostitutes. The highest rate of use is among men aged 25-34.
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/7257623.stm and
www.eaves4women.co.uk/Documents/Recent_Reports/Men%20Who%20Buy%20Sex.pdf (PDF)

I have no idea whether your man has used escorts, OP, either for phone sex or the physical variety. I'm more concerned about why you can't discuss it with him?

I'm going to let it go.

I can't discuss it with him, because him actually sleeping with someone else is ridiculous. His friends would probably vote him the least likely person to ever cheat.

He's told me he never would, as he wouldn't risk us splitting up because of DC's, but then I guess most men say that kind of thing.

It was just such a shock to see it, as he's not really into that sort of thing. He has been to lap-dancing clubs on stag dos, and told me all about it, but is very disaproving of people he knows who go on a regular basis.