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Original poster

can someone help me understand what happened last night.

125 replies

confusediam · 18/02/2010 19:53

I would really like some other points of view on what happened last night.

I went out on a first date with a guy I met on Match.com last night. We had been speaking for several days and he seemed very very keen, ie saying it was fate that we met and that he thought I was very beautiful and just his type. He was incredibly charming and I guess I fell for the charm a bit. Anyway, we met at a local pub for a meal and he was very nice and good looking etc. Then about half an hour into the evening I began to feel very unwell. I developed a splitting headache very quickly and began to feel very weird. I broke out in hot and cold sweat and felt like I was going to be sick. I couldn't concentrate on anything and then I had a cold pins and needle rush that went through my entire body. I went to the toilet and was very wobbly and began to get a bit freaked out. I went back to the table and said I felt unwell and so we went outside. The fresh air made me feel a bit better and we then sat in his car for a bit and had a kiss and cuddle but nothing more. I really liked him. I think he did try to touch me but I firmly said no. He then said he had to go so I got out and into my car and drove home.

One thing, half way through the evening he went to the toilet and took his drink with him - I thought this was very weird.

He asked me to come over to his place on Saturday and said we could go in his hot tub and I should bring my bikini.

When I got home I went straight to bed and fell asleep very quickly and then woke up at about 3 am and suddenly had a panic and thought that maybe my drink was spiked. I wasn't drinking alcohol by the way. I then thought that I had had a very bad migraine but I have never experienced those symptoms with a headache before, especially the intense sweating and hot and cold flushes and pins and needles.

Am I being totally and ridiculously paranoid? I hope so. Unusually I have not had a text from him today but did log onto Match.com a moment ago to see a message from him saying "you are still as beautiful as ever". I am very confused as I did like him.

Any ideas anyone?

OP posts:
DorotheaPlenticlew · 18/02/2010 20:14

OP, I agree that his message on match sounds like it was designed to gauge your state of mind.

I don't think a decent guy would have tried even a "kiss and a cuddle" in the car if he knew you were feeling unwell. And definitely not normal that he didn't check in to see how you were the next day.

He sounds really dodgy.

Original poster
confusediam · 18/02/2010 20:15

SayHit I'm so sorry that happened to you. How awful. I know I prob had a lucky escape. Did you completely black out and have no memories?

HellBent his message said "You're still as beautiful as ever" and that was that. Left on Match.com - really weird as up until last night he'd been texting me a lot.

OP posts:
DorotheaPlenticlew · 18/02/2010 20:16

Anyone have any idea why he would have taken his drink into the loo with him?

Agree with the OP this is odd, but can't quite see why he might have done it.

AnyFucker · 18/02/2010 20:17

dorothea...to make 110% the two drinks didn't get mixed up...

AnyFucker · 18/02/2010 20:18

sorry, 110% sure

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 18/02/2010 20:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
confusediam · 18/02/2010 20:18

Dorothea I can't understand why he took his drink with him to the loo - my only guess is that someone who does that is aware of the problems that can happen with drinks left unattended. Otherwise why would he have done it - so strange.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 18/02/2010 20:18

or put one in OP's and wanted to make sure she drank the right one ?

WhereYouLeftIt · 18/02/2010 20:20

Is there any facility on match.com to log your worries regarding this man? Because I think he'd treat anyone else he meets the same way he has you (yes I do believe he spiked your drink).

SayHitIsntSo · 18/02/2010 20:20

confusediam problem was, I was in a state where I knew everything that was going on but couldn't do anything about it. I did black out for a little bit, though.

T'was fairly a long time ago, but the point is- this guy sounds dangerous.

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 18/02/2010 20:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

GoodnightNobody · 18/02/2010 20:22

well, there is only one way to find out then isn't there? get yourself to A&E/ local police station if you suspect you've been drugged to have it confirmed/ ruled out.

If results +ve then presventing (possibly) fromt his happening to anyone else.

DorotheaPlenticlew · 18/02/2010 20:23

WOuld it still be possible to tell, GN?

AnyFucker · 18/02/2010 20:24

er, probably not possible GN

any trace of date-rape drugs will be well out of the system by now

Original poster
confusediam · 18/02/2010 20:24

I think I will contact Match to see but I don't want to blame him for something he didn't do.

Even more strangely we had two completely different drinks so there was no risk of drinks being mixed up. Just can't figure it out. I just have a bad feeling about it.

I've looked it all up online but they all say that if your drink is spiked then you suffer amnesia and black-out. I didn't do that but maybe it was a small dose - I don't know but I don't feel that well today either. Headache persisting and when I walked back from town today I could barely get up the hill - not good.

OP posts:
UnrequitedSkink · 18/02/2010 20:25

I'd go and get myself tested - but do it quickly, I think the drug only shows up in your urine for a short period of time.

aSilverLining · 18/02/2010 20:26

I thought drink spiked too before reaching the end, I think you have had a lucky escape TBH

He could have took the drink to put something in it, or more likely IMO is that as with most dodgy types I have come across is that they judge others by their own low standards so in this situation he was mirroring the concerns you should have had, watching his drinks at all times. This usually also applies to suspicions of infedility, checking up on finances, suspicious or thieves = cheater, money problems, sticky fingers/ low moral standards.

I do think you should maybe contact match.com about your date, he could do this to someone else and they not come away as safely.

And yes, he is definately guaging your reaction to the date in my opinion. He has ignored your 'illness', very telling.

Original poster
confusediam · 18/02/2010 20:27

AnyFucker I think you're right. There would be no trace of drugs now anyway - I looked it up on the net.

I can't explain why he was so full on last night and today, absolutely no texts from him - that is weird in my view.

OP posts:
Chandra · 18/02/2010 20:27

Whether your drink was spiked or not would never be clear, but I would certainly run a mile if in addition to that doubt I could see the guy taking his drink with him to the toilet (is he assuming you can spike his drink? if so why?) and the hot tub invitation.. he might be nice but nasty people can be nice too when looking for prey. There is something to this that "feels" creepy.

aSilverLining · 18/02/2010 20:28

Meant to say, I have had my drink spiked. Did not black out but do have whole blocks of time I can't remember, luckily I was never left alone and was taken to A+E so know I came to no harm, but very scary none the less. Felt just same as you did.

aSilverLining · 18/02/2010 20:32

The whole being full on right from the start before even meeting you is bad too. There is a thread with a list of early warning signs of abusive/ dodgy men. Well worth a read...

Original poster
confusediam · 18/02/2010 20:32

ASilverLining you had exactly the same symptoms? Glad you were OK. I didn't forget anything at all though even though I felt very very weird and out of control. Did you have the bad headache because online it doesn't mention headaches at all - just the other symptoms.

OP posts:
zazen · 18/02/2010 20:33

Any chance you can get a blood test?
Rohypnol and GBH are incredibly common : incredibly so.

If you think you have been drugged it is a good idea for you to go to the police and see what you can do re blood tests and giving a statement - having him bring the drinks over to you without you seeing them at all times is a big no - in future with any dates, and this applies to everyione, please keep your eye on your own drink at all times - and never leave your drink down to go to the loo. It's also a good idea to have a bottle of beer rather than a glass as something can be put in with the ice.

Rohypnol used to come up clear, but now it comes up blue, GBH and Ketamine come up clear when added to a drink. If you were having a gless of coke it could easily have been Rohypnol.

I have some experience of working with rape survivors, and have seen so many cases of girls who were having a great time until they suddenly after having a drink felt unwell and then ended up in big trouble. (of course alcohol is the biggest drug involved in rape) If you were not drinking alcohol I would be very suspicious.

There are men who prey on girls and women like this : even barmen have ben implicated.
My feeling is that your date was assessing your ability to metabolise the drug and he will alter the dose to knock you out if you meet again.

Please go to the police and have a chat about this man - the police have detectives all on these social media sites in order to catch predators like this.

I'm so glad you are safe.
Don't see this guy again - he's a predator.
Please go to the police and have a word with them: I'd say they'll be very interested.

FYI
Rohypnol (date rape drug)

What it looks like: Royhpnol is a pill - it's crushed and added to a drink. Older pills, the ones mostly used, have no color when added to liquids. New pills turn blue when added to liquids.

What it does to you: It causes these problems:

  • Drowsiness
  • Dizziness
  • Slurred speech
  • Trouble walking
  • Drop in blood pressure
  • Amnesia (memory loss)
  • Unconsciousness (blackouts)
  • Headache
  • Upset stomach
  • Muscle Pain
Original poster
confusediam · 18/02/2010 20:34

Maybe he hasn't text me today because I made it clear to him that I wasn't going to take things further with him. Maybe he thought he was on to a loser last night when I stopped him and now he's not interested.

OP posts:
Earlybird · 18/02/2010 20:35

Did you have just the one drink, and did you drink it all?

If he spiked it, perhaps he is a novice and didn't have the right 'stuff' or didn't put 'enough' in.....

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