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penetrative sex : anyone learned how to orgasm that previously couldn't?

88 replies

padboz · 22/01/2010 00:57

I'm a proper wanker I know how to make myself come and he knows too, but part of me feels that I could come through penetration alone. has anyone that used to find it impossible got any tips?


If you've found this page in your search of the best sex toys that can help you achieve orgasm and have been recommended by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best sex toys for women useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

OP posts:
GladioliBuckets · 23/01/2010 14:53

In missionary position, you have to get him to stay close, get him to think grinding forwards and back rather than in-out-in-out. You also have to grind your hips at the same time, you have to be in control so feet flat on the bed and lift bum up or raised on a pillow. It's all about getting your G-spot massaged (which is on the front wall) and/or your clitoris. Also helps to squeeze your pelvic muscles in time when you think you are getting somewhere.

HTH.

BridesheadRegardless · 23/01/2010 15:01

I can only orgasm with a vibrator.

I just think no hand/tongue/penis can ever stimulate at the very high intensity I obviously require.

I was 31 when I had my first orgasm and had been having, and enjoying, sex for 15yrs before this. It was a real eureka moment for me. TBH before this I had never been sure if I'd been orgasming or not, as if you never have how do know IYSWIM?

We've encorporated this into sex and DH seems quite happy as I'm quite happy.

I now just thank my lucky stars I was born in the age of electrical goods.

ConnieComplaint · 23/01/2010 23:20

I was 31 and had been having sex for 16 years (with various partners) when I finally reached orgasm through penetration alone.

DH went mental

As did I, ahem.

Practice makes perfect

MrsSawdust · 24/01/2010 00:30

I second boohooo's advice: for me, if I'm already 3/4 of the way to orgasm before penetration, and then the positioning is just right (his pelvis putting pressure on my clit) then it's all go.

But my clit for some reason seems to go numb if he penetrates me too soon. I need to be properly warmed up!

I've never found a g spot inside my vagina and truly wonder if it really exists. And I have had a lot of orgasms in my life, so believe me it's not through lack of experience.

Flightattendant · 24/01/2010 07:46

Brideshead, I used to think that myself but somehow it is different with actual sex...a different kind of stimulation and a different kind of orgasm.

I've never been able to do it with the bloke using his hands or mouth or whatever...I get totally tense and it feels all wrong, despite having had one partner who was fantastic at this - you could tell he knew exactly what he was doing, but for me it just didn't trip the switch. I just wanted him to stop!

But then thatw as before I could do it the other way, he probably still thinks I'm very uptight he used to go on about 'unblocking'

as though I were some form of pipework.. I think he meant mentally..how sweet

GladioliBuckets · 24/01/2010 14:12

Mrs Sawdust it does exist! I have only once or twice managed to stimulate it myself though, is v tricky and not as far in as you'd think. Try inserting fingers with your knickers on (ie so your fingers are 'wearing' them iyswim) - this will restrict how far in they go (which is what you want).

Can't believe I have just written that but I do really feel for people who don't have as much fun as me.

Kiwinyc · 24/01/2010 14:31

yes and it was quite a surprise because it was a) doggy stylee and b) really quick, pretty much upon entry (although I was already v. heated up) and c) because he was I was pleased to discover, really well endowed.

I stayed with him for lot longer than i should have because the sex was so good. But DH has done it since when he finds my g-spot, with his fingers generally.

Malificence · 24/01/2010 14:45

Vaginal orgasms are definitely different to clitoral ones - less intense but longer lasting, like muscular ripples that your partner can feel up inside you rather than the strong contractions of clitoral orgasm.
Once I've had one, they sort of come in waves and are very more-ish.

Imho it's about taking the time to get there and finding the positions that work for you, you also need a man who cares about your pleasure.
On top is probably the easiest way of finding your best pace/movement etc. Nice and slow with plenty of grinding against him, multiple stimulation is good too, whether it's having your nipples played with or your bum massaged, when you are not just focussing on one sensation your body kind of takes over and it can tip you over the edge.
The angle of your man can be important too , some of the best orgasms I've had are when DH holds my hips and thrusts upwards and when he comes it can often start me off again with the pulsations.

Experiment with some slow "grinding" and also some hard and fast doggy or your bum up on a pillow, all you really need is a man who can stay the distance, a good 20 minutes + of constant firm stimulation is required, for me anyway . DH has been trying a new technique, squishing my bum cheeks firmly together for 3 or 4 strokes then letting me "drop" onto him, I must say it was very nice!

Basically, don't make orgasm the "main" goal, just enjoy a nice long session, if nothing else it's a damn good work out for your hips and thighs.

AnyFucker · 24/01/2010 14:59

yeah mal...and I bet you have buns of steel

Malificence · 24/01/2010 15:39

AF, did you see I managed to stay off a sex thread for over 24 hours?

We went to the seaside yesterday, a bracing walk along the prom and fish and chips for lunch, I even got him to service me last night, he knew what was comimg when I walked into the bedroom with a warm flannel.

He likes to make out that he's put-apon by my "demands" but he actually quite likes it (probably).

AnyFucker · 24/01/2010 15:49

mal...you are the poster that just keeps giving

err, what is the warm flannel for ???

hf128219 · 24/01/2010 15:56

Warm flannel??

InmaculadaConcepcion · 25/01/2010 10:28

LMFAO!!!

AF and Mal, you two are priceless!

PS Yes indeed, let's hear about the warm flannel...

AnyFucker · 25/01/2010 12:07

I like to follow Mal around the boards and draw out her best quotes...she always makes me smile (sometimes not in a good way...)

bumping this for the flannel explanation...mal !! < whistles >

Hullygully · 25/01/2010 12:12
Malificence · 25/01/2010 12:28

Do you never play Doctors then? It was bed bath time.

He hadn't washed his man parts,that's all, nothing kinky ( well, not very) - I am considerate so I don't use a cold flannel.

I don't go down there if it's not clean!

He normally gives it a swill in the sink before bed but he wasn't expecting nookie.

Who'd have thunk an offhand comment about a flannel would cause such intrigue?

Hullygully · 25/01/2010 12:30
AnyFucker · 25/01/2010 12:32

hooray

now we know

am sorry I asked now, I have the image of a grown man having his willy washed before sex

did you wear a nursie uniform ?

OrmRenewed · 25/01/2010 12:34

Warm flannel?

Ah. I see.

You were having a curry. Of course

I'm sorry but I require DH to use more than a warm flannel. A full shower with antiseptic spray at the very least

Portofino · 25/01/2010 12:36

LOL at "swill in the sink"

God, I'm supposed to be working on a contract, so I definitely shouldn't be in here reading about your sex lives....

ShowOfHands · 25/01/2010 12:39

Oh I get the sandpaper out beforehand. And sometimes, a blowtorch.

ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 25/01/2010 12:42

I would have to have a sink like this if I was going to be able to get DH wo waggle in the sink before bed

ShowOfHands · 25/01/2010 12:44

That's some horrid shoes that sink's wearing.

Our sink's quite high. DH, as well endowed as he is, wouldn't be able to get it under the tap without climbing on the end of the bath, leaning over using the medicine cabinet to support himself, squatting a bit and hoping for the best. Perhaps we need a bidet.

ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 25/01/2010 12:45

that is one hell of a picture you have painted SoH!!

ShowOfHands · 25/01/2010 12:50

Well as soon as Mal rocked up I knew I'd have to step it up in the 'sharing' stakes.

He's naked btw in this little image I'm creating. Except for a jaunty hat and a lewd smile.

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