Please tell me your classic MIL or Mother quotes and situations

[RTKangaMummy]

DS wants to write a short sketch about an interferring MIL who constantly interferes with the life of the DIL

Sort of like the programme

"EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND"

Please give as many examples as you can of the best quotes and situations

Thanks guys you are deffo brill

I kind of survive because we live over 400 miles away and like Mumwhere, things would have better had I been 'local'. I really could write a book about my MIL's comments over the years, she's a piece of work! Nothing is immune from her comments.

Seems having a good marriage, being solvent, having happy and healthy DCs etc etc just isn't enough for some ILs. Not enough to gossip about I guess.

When my time comes, I hope I can be a decent MIL for my DCs.

Oh a good one was when i had the baby at 37 weeks- i phoned to tell her to be told 'well you were supposed to have her on the 18th! I had ds on the right day. Really you've never sought an orderly life have your dear?'
When babysitting she has argued ' sausage meat and sweetcorn is a perfectly healthy meal!'
She gave my dd her first taste of solid food- at two months old she stuck a finger full of icing in her mouth.
Recently when i told her that i'd donated 50 quid to the haiti appeal she said 'what for? I thought they for communists!

In a loud whisper at every family party for 14
years: 'She doesn't eat northern foods'.

All because I once politely declined to eat a pie.

My mil always claims shes on a diet and 'when those biscuits are finished I'm not buying any more' She's been saying that for at least 5 years, and yet strangly new ones appear in the tin!!

I just remember another one, MIL was so enthusiast with our wedding that at some point she started directing everything: from inviting all her friends and people that she considered deserving guests to taking me to get a new address as she was afraid the one I got wouldn't be up to the standards.

So, I didn't know about 2/3 of the invitees to my wedding, she spent the night complaining that we were ridiculing ourselves for choosing such venue, that everyone was having a bad time, that the food was taking too long, that the cousins were not well dressed, that her sister was wearing a courtain, etc etc. Exh and I had a good time just because we were very happy at getting married, but both woke up next day feeling as if we had done something terrible and vowing never ever to get into such social circus.

So, a few months later, comes the MIL, start complaining about the wedding looks at me and says: "Mongolia you ruined the wedding for us all" mainly because her son "would have never wanted such a big wedding"

mumwhereareyou, that is awful. well, when she's old and sitting in a home with a blanket over her knees, your kids don't have to visit her because she's not their 'real' grandma.

I had a boyfriend once (not husband) who talked to his mum about why things weren't working out with me and she concluded that it was because i felt like "a bit of an also ran" beside him. urrrr, no. It was cos he had a god complex as a result of his parents telling him he was god for 30 years. i had the cheek to think, this aint a god.

After announcing that DH and I were getting engaged. Stoney silence; not a word of congratulations.

Her latest (Christmas visit a few weeks ago, after handing out presents for DDs and chocolates for DH), coming into the kitchen and handing over a present.
MIL: "I've bought you a little something. I just never know what to get you" (DH and I have 'only' been together 16 years).
Me: glancing down at a ball of wool sized, badly wrapped (coming undone at one end) present. "Thankyou".
MIL: leaving the kitchen "You're welcome".
Me: unwrapping present. It was a shower/bath puff (one of those nylon scrunchie things). That was it- my Christmas present.

She will punish me all the days she has left for marrying her Son.

Sorry, but PMSL at some of these! Loving mistlethrush's MIL scoffing the wedding cake

Red Lentil - northern foods! fanstastic!

Reminds me of when I was staying at inlaws and refused some tinned ham (boak!). I said I had never eaten tinned ham growing up and didn't like the look of it. MIL said 'ooooh posh!' This is such an irony as she is really aspirational middle class and I am from a working class background. We were poor but still drew the line at tinned ham!

And that reminds me of another thing that annoyed me...

At our wedding DH's granny told my mum that I 'had done well for myself' in marrying into her family. Cheeky cow!

"At our wedding DH's granny told my mum that I 'had done well for myself' in marrying into her family. Cheeky cow!"

the x's mum who thought our relationship broke down because i felt like an also ran beside him said things along this line. maybe i wanted him too much? it was too much pressure? i should aim for somebody in my own world/league. that kind of thing. And his background was similar to my own. Seh was deluded.

Sorry OP no stories to hand - my MIL is wonderful.

However I love Everybody's Loves Raymond - the woman who plays Marie is brilliant. She is the archetypal MN MIL.

"I said I had never eaten tinned ham growing up and didn't like the look of it. MIL said 'ooooh posh!"

I know of whence you come!!

On the night that ex-MIL was serving cheese salad, ex-husband loudly (and quite unnecessarily) announced "Pikelet doesn't like uncooked cheese". Left to my own devices, I'd have quietly eaten the rest of the salad and slipped the cheese to the dog because I knew there would be consequences.

Which indeed there were since his statement was greeted by my plate being whipped away and MIL retreating, with a fearful huffing and tutting, back into the kitchen. Five minutes of heavily breathed inconvenience followed before she emerged, with the sodding salad, plonked it down in front of me and announced, with great drama and much in the manner of someone expecting a famine to strike at any moment:

"I've had to open a tin of pilchards! Just for you!"

I'd like to say this was the end of the matter but sadly, ex-husband decided it was a day for Truth and Irreconciliation so instead of shutting up and getting on with his supper, continued with "Pikelet's family say that tinned pilchards are only fit for the cat".

The entire meal then consisted of me picking my way through the hated pilchards while mutterings of "Think they're too good for the rest of us" emanated from MIL's end of the table.

Gah!!

my mil is actually lovely although she does have her favs amongst the grandchildren (all are girls with the exception of my two ds)

When ds1 was small she moaned & moaned to everyone that would listen that she never baby sat him and was missing out on seeing him grow up, & missing out on the important baby age - well we didnt like to ask her as DGC1 & DGC2 practically live there in the week as SIL single parent & they all stay over mon-fri, so we didnt think she would want our DS at the weekend on top)

Anyway the next time we needed a sitter we asked her & she said

"cant Yomojo's Mum have him?"
"Dont know, we thought we would ask you first as you've never looked after him & we thought you might like to."
"Oh you know I hate that baby stage - i will do it if Yomojo's Mum cant but i dont like them till they are at school"

we havent asked since!

Not really interfering, but this is my total MIL classic.

At our wedding, to one of my family friends who she had just been introduced to:

"Of course, we always wanted [DH] to be a priest, but it was the sex, you know..."

I was so proud that she labelled me as the red-haired temptress who seduced her son away from the church. FANTASTIC.

When DH and I were in the U.S. (we live in Canada). She rings my mobile to tell us something, because "I didn't want to ring (DH's) mobile because then he would have to pay". (When we answers calls while in the U.S. it is grossly expensive.)

I was like, WTF lady????

DH asked her about it and it turned out that she thought I had a mobile plan that included calls to and from the U.S. so, all was forgiven. But I will say that I did have "thanks a lot, you cowbag" thoughts in my head for a few hours.

She is a bit batty but otherwise very very lovely, and is a fantastic grandma!!

Got no MIL stories but I do have a fave fact about Everybody Loves Raymond.

The old guy who played Frank (the FIL) was John Lennon's best man.

mine is extremely tricky. dh has dark hair and eyes ds1 blue eyed blond, ds2 20 weeks, so blond he's got ginger highlights.
mil oh yes he's got black hair hasn't he'

ther's more but i've got to do bathtime

My mil is nuts. I could provide enough material for a whole series, not a short sketch.
The first time I met her I was greeted with ' dahlinf, I've been so looking forward to this little supper. I wanted you to feel special, so I've boiled a whole Tongue'

Frankly it's gone downhill since then!

Pikelit! that's hilarious MIL and exhusband working together (guess suh husband would make a good candidate to K's mum's play... sorry to say... my ex was exactly the same...)

ExMIL was, at the best of times, unbearable and was always accusing me of not "allowing" her son to spend time with her, he wouldn't stay around for long even if I had never been to his side but he found it convenient to place the blame on me so the typical conversation at the end of sunday lunch was:

exh: Shall we go Mongolia?
me: I'm ok
exh: Didn't we have something to do this afternoon
me: Not that I remember
exh: But shall we leave?
me: Just if you want to
exh: Mum, Mongolia wants to live!, so we are going!
exMIL (to exH): We hardly see any of you, why can't you stay longer? she doesn't like to be here does she?
me: I'm fine, honest
exH: Mongolia wants to leave mum
exMIL (to em): Well, lets hope one day she let us see a bit of you...

i have SO many MIL stories.

everyones favourate is the one where i am 4 months pregant. XP was starting a row again, he was getting very aggressive and so i called his Mum to come and remove him (sounds pathetic i know but she was just around teh corner and was preferable to police as this would just make him worse and she could usually calm him down)

by the time she gets to the house he had me held against the wall by my throat. as she walks in she sees him punch me in the stomach.

I look at her and she says
"qhy have you called me so i can see this. your sick (aimed at me not XP) if you dont stop provoking him like this im going to call SS. its not fair on (ds) to see this"

and she left.

I lost the baby.

She really is a gem of a lady

yes yes, i love the "who has the worst MIL game. i always win!

Mamazon wins.

But the rest are hilarious!!

Sorry Mamazon. Must be difficult whenever you see one of these threads.

Mamazon, that's awful What a strange lady