DH and I have always had a difficult relationship but it's been particularly bad since DS, 21 months was born. Have posted about this separately so won't go into too much detail but basically he is nasty, selfish and emotionally abusive. He is a dr and works long hours which he uses as an excuse to rarely help out with DS. Because of his job, he claims he is constantly exhausted - if not working, he will have at least a 2 or 3 hour nap whilst I'm running around like an idiot, despite being 28 weeks pregnant with DS2. Naturally, he does nothing around the house - I organise everything, pay all the bills, do all the cooking, laundry, plus work full time in a demanding professional job. I could live with him not doing anything if it wasn't for his other behaviour - he oscillates between ignoring me and criticising everything I do, from my appearance to the way I raise DS. DS has an amazing vocab yet the other day DH commented that I should work on improving this asap. He has various obsessive compulsive disorders, for example, throwing my possessions away (have posted separately about this) and takes/uses my possessions without my permission, for example, he runs his car out of petrol then takes mine and drives it until it runs out of petrol. He did this a few weeks ago and also let the back window open so that the rain got in and drenched DS's car seat so when I came to use the car the next day I found it unlocked, emptied of petrol with the backseat and DS's seat soaking wet. He also incurs numerous parking tickets when driving it and doesn't tell me - first time I found out was when I nearly got a CCJ against me (he's binned all the reminders etc). He is horrendously disorganised so going anywhere or doing anything with him is a nightmare as we'll miss the flight/train or he'll forget his keys, or if we do make it I'll nearly have a heart attack from the stress of it. He ignores 99% of what I say so never does anything I ask, refuses to ever get up with DS so I NEVER get a lay in, even if sick, pregnant, whatever, doesn't matter, he won't get up so I have to. If he does then it's after so much naggging and rowing it's such not worth it. I just need a tiny amount of help, one lay in a month would be heaven, but he just can't do it. On the other hand, he finds time to go to football on Tuesdays, the gym on Wednesdays, see a counsellor on THursdays and usually out and gyms at least 2 other nights a week. If I want to go out or do anything then I have to get a babysitter as he cannot be relied upon to turn up or will turn up late. I am basically a single parent. I'm not sure if I still love DH. I think he does love me and I know he loves DS but his behaviour is just unbearable. His mum and a close family friend who has known him all his life agree that he is a bully and think he has a personality disorder but nothing I say or do makes him change. We row all the time and I am getting sadder and sadder and more and more lonely and it breaks my heart to think of raising DS and the new baby in this environment, or taking them away from their father when I know he does love them but who is slowly destroying me. To complicate things further, DH is supposed to bed taking a job in Nashville, US, in June. DS2 will be 3 months. He is insisting that we all go but I am refusing as I cannot move 2000 miles away with the relationship the way it is, nor do I want to move whilst DSs are so young with no support network etc. Seems like a natural time to separate but still very sad that he can just up and leave and not care about not seeing his children. He is putting on the onus on me, saying I should move to ensure the children see their father but I don't want to leave my home and my support network and a well paid job which could be my only means of support in future to move there. I just spent a week alone with DS as he went away over NY (to his mother's, I refused to go) and the house felt so lonely and empty, think I will find it really hard being alone. Sorry, this is turning into a ramble. Can anyone help?