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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Being sexually harassed by friends husband - what to do?

102 replies

jeni7 · 15/12/2009 14:35

Recently I started a new job working for my friends husband. We work together in an office in their home. He often makes innappropriate comments about what I'm wearing or what I look like, he puts his arm around my shoulder or rubs my back and will sometimes insist I give him a kiss goodbye when I leave.

I spoke to him about this last week. I made it very clear that I wanted this behaviour to stop and that it made me feel uncomfortable. He took this well and said 'cool, no problem'.

It hasn't stopped however. He made another comment today about asking me for a kiss.

I have spoken to another friend who I know has also done some work for him. I asked her if she had had the same experience. She said she had, and that in fact he'd made a pass at her. She is also friends with his wife, we are all part of the same social circle. She chose not to say anything to her.

Now I'm not sure what to do. I need this job, - I'm a single mother with three children to support. But obviously my main concern is my friend who is married to this man, and who I know has given up a lot in order to be a stay at home mother to their two children. I have no desire to destroy her marriage, but I feel extremely uncomfortable keeping this from her too. I feel like a lie has come between us, and that she deserves to know, but....

I like and respect this woman and I want to do right by her.

OP posts:
AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 18/12/2009 12:59

no worries jeni7

I misread you a little bit, you seemed to appreciate my teasing at first and then suddenly didn't.

You must have felt a bit "got at" though, and so I apologise too and truly never meant to make you feel hurt.

And you wear your skirts as short as you like!!

TopSop · 18/12/2009 14:15

Next time he comes anywhere near you, step on his foot with your heel - HARD! - and then smile sweetly and say "whoops, well I did tell you to keep your distance!"

I feel for you. I've been in a similar situation (not naked boss, thank God, but inappropriate touching and sexual comments in the workplace, I was much younger and had NO idea how to handle it) and it's no fun.

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