Scorps I'm so sorry. FWIW my DH didn't have a spark or thunderbolt that "I fallen back madly in love with Counting". Love evolves over time as you know. It turns into a "grown up" love. Does he still say he loves you as the mother of his DC ?
Here another "handout" that Relate gave my DH, it's about the Latin way of describing love. I think you see from the words what the therapist was trying to tell my DH (she didn't give me any of these handouts ).
"In Latin there are two words describing love. They distinguish the two profoundly different ways of experiencing love. Eros refers to passionate love; Agape describes the stable and committed relationship. When we look for different kinds of love in one relationship with one person it leads us into a dilemma as the two cannot be experienced at the same time.
Eros : Real love is an all-consuming, desperate yearning for the beloved, who is perceived as different, mysterious, and elusive. The depth of love is measured by the intensity of obsession with the loved one. There is little time or attention for other interests or pursuits, because so much energy is focused on recalling past encounters or imagining future ones. Often, great obstacles must be overcome, and thus there is an element of suffering in true love. Another indication of the depth of love is the willingness to endure pain and hardship for the sake of the relationship. Associated with real love are feelings of excitement, rapture, drama, anxiety, tension, mystery and yearning.
Agape : Real love is a partnership to which two caring people are deeply committed. These people share many basic values, interests and goals and tolerate good-naturedly their individual differences. The depth of love is measured by the mutual trust and respect they feel toward each other. Their relationship allows each to be more fully expressive, creative and productive in the world. There is much joy in shared experiences both past and present, as well as those that are anticipated. Each views the other as his/her dearest and most cherished friend. Another measure of the depth of love is the willingness to honestly at oneself in order to promote the growth of the relationship and the deepening of intimacy. Associated with real love are feelings of serenity, security, devotion, understanding, companionship, mutual support and comfort."
Scorps, I think my DH needed to see this written down. These were given out to him in his individual session.
I think your H has some sort of agenda which will probably become clear in time. And again FWIW, my DH went to Relate in the beginning not thinking we had a relationship to salvage, a bit like your H, doing what he thought was right for the DC. You need a "no nonsense" therapist who will tell him as it is. Ours was quite "sharp" with us on a number of occasions.
The fact that they are bending their rules for you, makes me think they see some sort of hope if they can get to both of you quick enough. Our therapist actually said she didn't know what made her "queue jump" us, just that she saw something.
There is always hope, remember that. And you have a new life coming soon, that makes people reassess things etc.
Saying a prayer for you (I had a lot of people praying for me and DH).