poorly person or hypochondriac? you decide

[orangelampshade]

Been seeing this man for four months. It's begun to strike me that he very regularly has an ailment. A sympathy-generating ailment. Or am I being harsh? Is he genuinely unlucky in the health department?

For instance: he has sinus problems, then asthma. Fair enough, I can see that he has this.

Two weekends ago, he was awake in the night with back ache and had to wake me up to say he was going to get himeslf 'some warm milk to help him feel better' hmmmm. Why wake me up at 2am to tell me this?

This weekend he's had a numb big toe, then a numb foot and lower leg (I think it's because he strained it while taking some exercise)he thinks it's something more sinister and it's been the main topic of conversation.

He's also had a 'nasty splinter'

a headache

and last night, he had a bad dream, then three long and troubled incidents of feeling queasy, which involved lights on, noise and waking me up at 4am onwards.

I feel I am loosing sympathy. At first, I would be concerned, now I'm

Am I being unfair?
Am I being too tolerant?

Opinions please!

Stop it!

Better nappy oops, I mean nip these thoughts in the bud!

Oh god, he is a big baby-man

SGB - I think he is indeed into sub roleplay, he wants me to tie him up (not against the idea, but don't want to be doing all the work all the time if you know what I mean)

WIll definitely go for the period cramps test, just to see what happens. Heck, not due for a fortnightm but I have a feeling good old AF is coming a knocking anyway. Purely in the interests of research.

If warm milk is offered, I'm not sure what I'll do

how fortuitous

Sainsbury's are advertising two for one on all baby products

Any man who asked me to tie him up after knowing him only 4 months would have me screaming for my mammy

OP, have you made it known from the start that you are up for a bit of domination ?

Well AF - it was him that mention the tying up thing, I'm not for it or against it, but I get the impressoin that he's been tied up before as he's mentioned it in these early days.

Hmm, this makes me think he's not seeing me as me, but as a.n.other girlfriend.

He's a bit keen to be dominated methinks

Odd though that he found it hard talk dirty to me when i asked him to.

WHy am I even trying to fathom him out? It's impossible to know what's going onm in his head - do I even want to know?

Blimey, I've been really rambling in this thread, sorry!

Period test a very good idea. That + call GP over everything would soon suss out his actual motives.

Think it would be easier to just finish with him though, then you wouldn't have to put up with all these shenanigans.

Agree also on the kinky sex thing, you should ask him to tell you his fantasies and then report them all in detail here so we can laugh.

"this is the question, do I want a sweet, polite man in the sack? NO! I want a fiend who will tell me exactly what he's going to do to me, in no undertain terms and then beat his chest and holler as he reaches the peaks of passion!!"

Orange, this is a direct quote from your toopolite thread. I know you think he's a nice person, but is 'nice' a good enough substitute for the passion you talk about above- do you want a man or a child?

yeah please

we want a blow-by-blow account !

I'd like a man please

Not a pussy (quote Sidge)

Hee hee at blow-by-blow.

Dated a creep guy who liked a bit of warm milk once, never delved into his deepest fantasies thank goodness but am quite curious now to see where he might have gone!

I think in your heart that you know, he may be nice, but he's never going to be a real man, he's always going to be a submissive mummy's boy

My husband came home from work saying he felt sick and ill all day (I had same thing last week with absolutely no sympathy at all). I told him that as he is so ill he must go straight to bed with a Lemsip - no telly, no wine, nothing. He's gone (looked a bit scared tbh). Just tell this useless man to buck his ideas up. If he's sick, he should go to the doctor. Otherwise he should stop bloody moaning. No time for attention seeking idiots.

Who was that ex-politician on Big Brother who drank that milk from a saucer?

No! Let's not go there!

(disclaimer: it's not him!)

Why isn't it easier to find a decent man? You think you've got hold of a good one, but they turn out to be weird.

Answers on a postcard please

msmerlin - love it!

I'm actually going to do this if he moans again - I'm going to get him some disgusting tasting medicine and say its been recommended for what's ailing him and he will have to take it, no beer, no telly, dry toast for dinner

(must do all this without air of dominatrix, or else he may get off on it)

Also - will tell him I'm calling the Doctor - or am getting onto netdoctor, when actually, I'll be on here! ha!

Warm milk is absolutely of no use at all for back ache (in fact it's useless for anything except small babies and animals). For back ache he needs a hard mattress (or better still sleep on floor), plenty of exercise and (if still bloody moaning) a painkiller.
There is no excuse for waking you up. What are you supposed to do fgs?

Maybe his mother gave him warm milk when he was unwell as a child? If he were mine I'd be challenging Usain Bolt on how fast I'd run.

Oh god what a turn off; warm milk...eeeuuww.
warm milk for diddums poorly tummy.

Even hot milk wouldn't be quite so bad.

I could not have sex with a man who went on like this, even if he was hot as fuck.

Do The Period Test ASAP. And report back.

Yes well he is hardly likely to be 'hot as fuck' - just all weird and milky.
Does he wear cardigans and Norwegian slipper socks? He's making me think of Richard Attenborough as Christie in '10 Rillington Place'

"Diddumms poorly tummy" ha ha ha!!!!

Shouldn't laugh - should take action, but that is so funny!

Am going to see him this coming weekend - I get a funny feeling I'm going to have period tum tum diddumms - I vow to report back. Don't amke me laugh while I'm doing it - that's all I ask.

orange I have been crying laughing at your posts tonight! My DP has been asking what I am laughing at and it took me about 6 attempts to tell him about lady foof because i pissed laughing everytime I started to say it

Can't wait for the update after the weekend.

actually he is reminding me a bit of an ex of mine, he was such an old woman; used to sit around grimacing in long suffering mode and rubbing his stomach after some food stuff or other had "disagreed" with him or had been eaten at the wrong hour of the day or night, against his better judgement

You need to show him something....

the door.

What are those fizzy, nasty tasting salts you make into a drink - is it bicarb or some such? I'll get lots of that in and make him drink it when he grumbles about his tum.

And what? some plaster of paris for his toe/gammy foot/leg?

Good grief - this is not what I signed up for!

triffictits - glad you're enjoying the lady foof - so to speak. I just couldn't keep somehting like that away from MN. It's found it's natural home where it can be truly appreciated.

mrs boogie - advise me: how did you handle the old-woman-man you were dating? Did you have it out, or ignore?

Thank you everyone for your advice, I will take all of it on board

oh god! I just remembered that he said he was going to get a bandage for his sore leg today! (cringe)

I'm ging to send him to the shops to buy me massive tampons and panty liners and huge sanitary towels!

ging = going - I'm getting over-excited here with The Period Test Plan

Andrew Liver Salts.

I ignored it, well I pretended to myself that I was ignoring it even though it was a massive turn-off, but he had other shortcomings which were even worse, so the "old woman"ness was the least of my worries about him...