Oh crap. MIL gave me a very expensive dress, I gave it to charity shop, she wants it back......

[DrNortherner]

She put on weight and it no lobger fitted her. Was a very expensive long burgundy evening frock with bolero jacket. She said it was too expensive to give away, but she wanted me to have use of it.

It was too old fashioned for me, and she often dumps her cleared out stuff to me.

Anyway, she is off on a cruise next month, has lost weight and now thinks she'll fit into it. I did not have the heart to say I donated it to a charity shop.

She's coming round on WEdnesday to collect it.

Should I tel the truth, or say I can't find it, or I lent it to someone else.....?

HELP me.

I agree with those who suggest you say it did not suit/fit you and you agree with mil that it was too good to chuck so you donated it to a friend of a friend (in case she suggests going to ask your friend for it back).

Also, suggest that since she has lost weight she should celebrate with something new.

just tell her the truth and offer to contribute to a new one.

No NO I've got a much better idea - coz this actually happened to me.
Say you loved it so much you wore it a couple of times to parties and then obviously you had to get it drycleaned and
oh NO the drycleaner lost it. Yes, it happens!!
So the drycleaner gave you £50 compensation.
You were too embarrassed to tell her when she first rang (hence the OK come Wednesday line), as £50 was clearly ridiculous for such a divine dress. But now you must tell her the awful truth.
Offer to pay on to her the £50 but clearly and tragically you don't actually have the dress.
Foolproof and feasible.

Be honest. Tell her you binned it for crimes against fashion

(obviously this costs you £50 as the whole thing is a lie - but perhaps that is a small price)
PS I am not a habitual liar, it just struck me that this scenario, eg the lost dress, which really happened to me, could be recycled for your needs.

OK Mutt I see your point.
I gave the £50 to charity.

or divorce dh before she arrives thus losing the necessity to have anything further to do with mil? or is that going too far?

Please don't lie. You can tell the truth. Yes it will be embarassing but at least you won't be caught out in the future.

oh I do sympathize.
good luck

reminds me of when mum (who lives in canada) was over for a visit and we were in one of the high street charity shops

'oh ramona...look at this.....it looks just like the sweater I gave dd2'
'Oh ramona....it IS the sweater I gave to dd2' lots of looks from my mum

from me

what were the chances?
I had given it to that shop months and months before we stepped through the door. different season and all.

Oh dear, pretend you are ill next week?

Say the fashion police broke your door down in an early morning raid nd took everything out of your wardrobe that they did not like...

Oh yes, it was Trinny and Susannah

Tell her that you were too fat to fit into it as well. So it is the dress that is at fault rather than her having put weight on.
And then you gave the dress away because, unlike her, you will never be able to lose the weight.

Then she will feel good about being the same weight as you, or even less, and forget about the dress.

Say you had a visit from trinny and susannah who cut it up with scissors; and you'll let her know when the show is going to be aired on the tely.

or tell the truth and offer to go shopping with her for something new and special for her to wear on the cruise

You're going to have to fake your own death. Nothing else for it.

lol am loving collective creative lying skillz, most impressive, you bad bad people

i'd go with the "can't find it, thought i knew where it was, torn the place apart looking, oh god it didn't go with the charity bags did it?" angle myself.

(thus covering self should she happen across it in the shop... )

I've got it...

It wasn't quite your thing and you donated it to your dc's school fundraising auction. It was so lovely that it fetched a high price and all the money went towards a new whatever to enrich her grandchildrens education.

tell her you burned a great hole in it. You were so devastated, you'd so wanted to wear it that evening, you hadn't the heart to tell her.... or you handwashed it and were ironing it to give back to her...

you can't say you gave it away, she will not be human about it.

failing that, faking your own death is pretty darn good

Bleach?

I've ruined bagloads of clothes by leaning up against a freshly bleached worktop.

Took it to dry-cleaners - "No can do, love, it's bleach innit?"

So embarrassed and upset, couldn't tell you.

Squeeze out a couple of tears, hand wringing, wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Job Done.

Tell her the dog ate it - used to work with homework.

Actually, tell her the cat was sick on it and you had to bin it.

( I think Gordon Browns Tea Lady's suggestions are best but I wouldn't have the brass neck to say them.... )

PMSL at she has seen it in the charity shop window already and is calling your bluff

you are realyl for it norherner. You are really in the soup

emigrate?