He has left me

[bigissue]

And the children. Am broke and carless but currently don't give a fucking toss. So nice not to have the rows and stress.

Is anyone there?

for gods sake dont go begging, its degrading. no matter whats gone on - he has left you wondering about money with children in the house. no matter how great he has been in the past that makes him a tosspot today.

chuck his stuff out, get to the benefits office and tell him to work fking hard cos your gonna screw him for everything he has. tell him you dont want his charity in paying the bills, he plays a proper part and stops farting about or he fucks off and sees his kids in macdonalds on a saturday.

then slam the door and cry for ages.

hope it all works out

BIg issue how are you this morning?

BIg issue how are you this morning?

Thank you hotmummy
OK, had sweet text from him last night saying he hoeped we would work thinjgs out and saying that he would put money into my account for the birthday. I said that he had broken the childs heart and the reply came back that i should not use the children in this ........I asked him to ring me and he did not.

This morning i am thinking "fu$k him. The house is calm and the kids are much better and there is a marked absence of tenesion. Going to go see the bank etc tomorrow.

Maybe I don't want him back

Sleep seems to have done you some good you can look at things rationally now. Glad you feel a bit better about the situation.

Just remember don't be to hasty in either dicision (i.e taking him back or saying thats it) make sure you give yourself time to decide what you really want and makes you happy -happy mummy happy children.
If he wants to come back tell him you can start by courting again and he will need to live elsewhere whilst you get things back on track. This gives you both sometime to sort out what you really want to do. remember you both have years and years of your lives to lead and you all need to be happy.

1 heve lost 5lbs in weight in the past few days and have had the time to paint mytonails so there is a silver liniung here

now his clothes in the bedroom are srtating to pi$$ me off b

Just throw them all into bin bags and put them away fro when he comes to collect them.

i'm sorry to hear about your troubles. i think it's best for you to concentrate on yourself and the children now. i hope today brings you some security and calmness.

How's things today bigissue?

What a positive turn around (mini applause at this end!).

At the risk of sounding like Rikki Lake or the beloved Trisha, hold on to your anger. Know that it won't be easy, but you sound like a strong lady and have no doubt that you will get through this. Don't forget to buy a breast pump, then you can have a drink!!

Remind him that you are not using the children in this, but, as their father, he should take responsibility over their emotional well-fare.

update bigissue?

Hi Bigissue I have been reading about what has happened to you. I am very sorry for you and the kids. I was in the same situation for twelve years. We would split up get back together over and over. He would tell me it was stress and having all of the worries of money etc. he would sort his emotions out by sleeping with other women (even did it the night before I as due to go into hospital to be induced with our first child). He told me it was my fault he was the way he was because I had made him like that. What turned me was my brothers death, I realised I had been used as a total doormat for all those years. I wasn't physically being abused it was emotional abuse. I am now married to a fabulous man who divorced his wife and got custody of his three children, so we have eight kids altogether (last one is ours) and now working on the ninth. What I am trying to say is please don't give up hope for the future. First and foremost the kids need you, you are their rock. Inside you might feel like there is no future but they are your future and kids are amazing little fighters. Even if dp has really p*ed you off put a smile on your face and think f*k you. All the advice you have received is brilliant. Yes he should pay but don't be reliant on him. Write letters to people explain what has happened it is amazing how understanding people can be. The other thing is talk, you may be surprised at the amount of people that have been in the same position as you but you would never suspect. I'm sorry if I seem to be lecturing don't mean to but you are a lot stronger than he gives you credit for. Go for it girl and please give your little ones a great big hug from me. Please email me if you need someone to talk to I would really like to offer any help or support I can
[email protected] take care and I shall keep checking on you.

Had very long tearful (his) telephone convo yesterday, marriage counsellor today. He accepts that he is cracking up, he is employing another assistant, is going to do stress mment therapy, and is truly sorry.

I believe him; he is coming back this evening.......

Hopefully a happy ending, but delighted to realise that can get on very ok witout him

Thank you all so much for your support.

aww big issue luvvie, just dont let him be so nasty and careless with u again. I hope it is a happy ending for you chick xxx

Very glad to hear it - hope you two can work it out
Big HUG and

Bigissue- Glad to here everything is working out for you.

Bigissue- Glad to here everything is working out for you.

Delighted to hear this, however, hold on to that feeling of strength in the coming days and dsicussions.

Just want to come back to this now that i have a mment. I think the whole issue here was that we had a very stable and happy marriage - both very much in love, which seemed to change literally overnight and become a game of verbal and emotional conflict and oneupmanship - mainly on his part, but also mine as I can give as good as I get and I handle aggro (not talking about physical here) very badly.

I have been in a lousy marriage and even worse relationship, and my current (hopefully last!!) marriage is very different. He is a very good man who under duress has behaved like a shit. He is aware of this and that next time i will not just forgive but will walk away.

We have booked into counselling and undertaken to do x number of sessions, he has come home tonight and been brilliant and he has already started making serious professional changes to make sure that the stress levels diminish and that he gets back to normal life.

I would not be a managing director for all the tea in china.

Thats fantastic bigissue!

Fantastic bigissue - lots and lots of luck with the counselling.

a happy ending! and a happy beginning.
So pleased for you bigissue