He has left me

[bigissue]

And the children. Am broke and carless but currently don't give a fucking toss. So nice not to have the rows and stress.

we have a freidg full of food and i can scrape by if i vist the bank and explain

I fezel awful to be financially dependent on him - he has said that he will pay the bills but he is so changeble at the mpment and i feel under his control

I love him very much and i know that he loves me and the children with all his heart. But he holds me responsible for going berserk as he thinks i am non supportiv e and htat too simpl;ictic about his stress and how to deal with it.

I want him back as the man hde was and is, nto as the person he has bocmone.

I dont htink he wants me back cos he holds me responsible for being how he is now?

iuswim

get down the benefits office like SP has suggested. That way you may not be so dependant on him. Your bound to feel wary of his proposal of paying the bills fingers crossed he will keep to it for you. But definately get down the boffice asap as it takes a little time before any money comes through.

Sounds complicated; have you tried marriage counselling?

I can't think of any advice that hasn't already been suggested, just wanted to say I am really sorry.

Am sorry

The kids are crying cos they have to go to bed and he hasnt rung to say goodnight - if i get them to ring him he will think i am being manipulative.

I cannot believer that he is doing ths. It is so out of character but he is acting crazy and rfurious.

i really thought he wold of rung us.

Am wallinwing in self pity.

And I am seriously f8cked off about wanting him back - I miss him now. First time in years that we will have gone a night without talking - evne when he was working away.

Self pity.

Cant eben get pi$$ed cos of the baby.

am going to stop talking to myself on mnset as it is making me feel worse.

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i have no good advice to offer but just bumping for you

take care xx

sounds horrible.

can't stop as it's nearly bedtime for dd.

how young is the baby? I used to get a bit pissed once ds was over 6m and breastfeeding.

Oh shit - that could have been us not very long ago.... Young baby, stressed at work etc. Somehow we've managed to scrape through (for now). Sorry didn't mean sound like nah nah nah nah - actually wanted to give you a BIG HUG!! Hope this is just a blib.

I want to text him and tell him i love him but i am aftaid of the rejection and also if i tel him and he doesnt answer it will hurt the children so i cant

It was well put - i am very sad now, all the bravaddo has gone and i have put the kids to bed really early so thet they cant see me cry.

Fuck fuck fuck

And it is dss birthday on tuesday and i have very little money - he is expecting a present and a big cake and sweets to take into school and then a party on saturday.

Shit.

im sorry, i dont know what to say but just wanted you to know that im listening iykwim

xx

bigissue, he hasn't gone off with another woman, so there's no loss of face if you contact him and say "can we talk".

bigissue - if it's your ds's birthday then I think you should text your dh to tell him that ds is expecting these things (and deserves it dammit - it's his birthday!) and that he needs to be involved in making some arrangement for that.

So sorry you are going through this, it sounds awful. I don't know what to say - just that the children should not suffer more than they have to so I think he should ring them to say goodnight and that he should not be allowed to forget he has a responsibility on ds's birthday.

I don't think you've got anything to lose by texting him, have you? You don't have to beg either - you could just say shall we try counselling? or something.

I cant text him cos i couldnt bear it if he didnt reply or he said something final or horrible.

I simply cannot believe i have not heard from him.

Give it a day or two at the most and he will get back in touch with you. How are you holding up?

I am really really sad - not holding up at all

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