The Hit List

[TwoPersephone]

We have the $hit list, so now what about the flip side of the coin, what are the early signs of a really good catch?

Especially things that may at first put you off.

I was thinking about charming men, how at first, to the unwise and unwary, they can seem ideal but actually charm can be a danger sign. Alternativly, a slightly bumbling fumbling shy man may make the perfect partner once he finds his feet.

one who wants to go on an actual date in public. not just come round and sit at your house or at his house .

during the early stages you should be out and anjoying experiences together.

early signs of a good catch - honesty about who they actually are instead of who they pretend to be.

When I first met dh and he had asked me out on our first proper date he told me after a couple of weeks that he thought I might not turn up and waited in his car round the corner to check that I went in first.

doesn't call,text,msn 24/7..... you can have a whole day pass without any communication... and he doesn't get bothered or give you a grilling over what you have been doing.

similarly. if you go on a night out. they wish you fun and simply ask "if you had a good time".... without wanting to know who was there.. what you did, where you went.... 3rd degree is not attractive.

My DH showed his nerves and was a little bit shy. It was a good sign and we have been together nearly 15 years now

Sensible.

One of the great, and most under-rated, sexy qualities.

Sadly, it often looks bad on those under 30 - but it ages really, really well.

Must have friends. Alarm bells should ring if he doesn't.

But must not be devoted to friends with 'lads always come first' mentality.

Willing to pay for a meal, but also happy to go Dutch, showing a flexible attitude and therefore no controlling signs.

Blushing! It's not possible to fake and is therefore a good indicator of a genuine reaction.

Polite to waiters, hotel staff, taxi drivers etc.

Erm well, when my DH asked me out I said yes then regretted it. All I knew was he did amateur dramatics which I hate and that his first wife and brother had both died. Oh and that he had a gorgeous DS. Wasn't sure what we'd talk about but it turned out he had a great sense of humour, was relaxed and liked the same sort of music as me. I agreed to the next date and it went from there so, personally, calm, humour, shared interests/tastes and the ability to get the giggles together.

Treats his Mum well.

Shows every sign of actually liking women (obv this one applies to straight men).

And I do mean 'liking' as in opposed to just 'wants to shag'.

Makes you feel comfortable.

Kind to animals
Good with children
Sense of humour

Men that are reluctant to jump in head first at the bginning aren't always immature commitment phobes. Sometimes they are really good, responsible blokes who like to take their time to think things through and make sure they're right before committing. I married one of these

I remember DW saying the fact that I had female friends was a good sign.

Not too scruffy, but also not too smart.

Treats people the same, whether they are a bin man or the Queen.
Is polite and respectful but not overly attentive to, other women. Has plenty of friends, male and female and knows how to interact socially without going over the top.
Doesn't get regularly drunk or drink heavily all the time - very bad for your sex life!
Brutal honesty may seem cruel but I prefer it to little white lies.
Likes pregnant women, a man turned off by pregnancy has "issues" imho.
Has hobbies but not obsessions, unless you share them it will drive a wedge.
Find out about his feelings towards porn, if you hate it and later on find out he loves it, it could spell disaster.

"Find out about his feelings towards porn"

I agree, but perhaps a topic for a second date

has never been in a drunken brawl or late-night fisticuffs in his life!

Mine for women:

-Smiles a lot, and laughs at silly jokes.
-Listens and talks.
-Eats properly and healthily - doesn't sit there and pick at a lettuce leaf.
-Drinks alcohol and enjoys it, without signs of being a total piss-head.
-Doesn't dwell on past relationships.
-Doesn't come out with constant rubbish about what "men" are like, what "men" always say and do, based on the two bastards she has been out with.
-Reads books, watches TV and listens to music.
-Shows signs of independent thought.
-Is not racist.
-Does not show signs of being high-maintenance.
-Has own career - does not expect to give up work at 30 and live off a man.
-Has brothers and/or male friends who she speaks of fondly.
-"Gets" Monty Python.

Makes an effort to be pleasant to your freinds/family.
Drives a sensible car.
Goes to the pub for 'a quick one' and has just one.
Has friends that you would be willing to be friends with.
Doesn't appear threatened if you do something better, earn more, are smarter or anything of that nature.
Doesn't live in a sty.

Men with a big sister you really get on with come highly recommended in my experience - she'll have spent his youth battering him into her model man, if you like her, you might like him?

Good work ethic - at his job, and around the home.
Cheerful and positive (but not unrealistic)

...knows where to find your clitoris

mwah-ha-haaaa

Has an element of 'nerd' to his personality (I am less sure of this as it could just be me, but I think willingness to appear less than cool is a 'good thing' so i am adding it to the list).