Boyfriend of 4 months is sulking and not answering my calls - am devastated - irrationally so.

[FloodsOfTears]

I have a long distance relationship. I love him deeply - he says he loves me (nd he said it first).

Tonight, I rang him at 9.15, for our usual chat. But 10 minutes later a friend of mine poped in and I told him I had to go - at which point he got really abrupt and said, ok, go. Bye then. Everything I said after that got met with "Bye then". Rang him back ten minutes later, told him I'd ring him when she had left, he told me not to bother as he was going to bed, stop being antisocial and go and talk to my friend.

Tried to ring him to say goodnight at 11 - he put the phone down on me without speaking to me. Tried a few times, in case he lost signal - has been known to happen - phone repeatedly switched off. SO I haven;'t bothered again.

What if this is it? What if he never wants to see me again, or speak to me - what if he won't answer his phone tomorrow or the next day or the next day? What if this is me being dumped?

I'm utterly miserable. I absolutely adore this man and he's being so so mean and I don't know why. PLEASE help me put some perspective on this.

oh why are you going to phone him?

You phoned him several times, he knows that, so it's up to him to call you.

let us know how it goes

DON'T call him. Please. you're setitng yourself up for rejection, in fact I think you are probably trying to sabotage the relationship, becuase you think he will reject you. You're practically forcing him to, just to get it over with.

Do you want this relationship?

If you don't, then it doesn't matter what you do. But if you DO, then ringing him is NOT going to help. If you ring him and he was just being silly last night, by some remote chance, he will think you are desperate - which you do seem to be a bit [meant kindly]
and this will make him think twice whether he wants someone so emotionally over dependant. (I suspect he's already a bit because he hung up on you repeatedly last night.
If he is a shit, you'll end up apologising when he cuts you off, blows you off or hangs up again - or just doesn't answer. You'll feel stupider than you already are going to.

Do you see where I am going with this? Don't phone, it's HIS turn, do something else to calm yourslef, it's like taking yucky medicine, you don't like it and it's hard but you know it'll be the best thing in the long run. Don't phone him.

agree with Flight. Don't call him tonight.

I know it'll be REALLY hard not to call him, though. We will distract you until midnight!!!

Seriously - you'll be so glad, tomorrow you'll wake up LESS emotionally dependant on him, once you have survived tonight.

It'll be the first step in detaching yourself from him. Sounds like he means everything already - been there, too - you'll be Ok if you never see him again. You need to believe that.

Alternatively you could practice what you're going to say if he rings you. ANGRY stuff, please. You have a right to be angry about his behaviour or at least a little at him - and let him know it. Demand a little respect, and you never know, you might get it.

DON'T CALL TONIGHT

she will call

agree don't call at all, but I know you prob will do. or at least text.

DO NOT CALL HIM!

The ball is in his court. Let him call you.

one last shot:

if he is in the wrong you shouldn't call him because he should come to you

if it was that you pestered him you should leave him to call you when he is ready

this all sounds very familiar.
why do trolls people regurgitate old threads ?

slarty, do you know summat we don't ?

only that it sounds familiar, even down to the bf of 4 months

or perhaps it is a 4 months stage in some wankers boyfriends.

Well, I've just read the whole thread (DP has put a dvd of Morse in and its just so ham) and I don't think she is a troll. At all.

I just think she is infatuated by a crap bloke. Sorry, OP, to talk about you as if you weren't there and I don't mean to sound harsh. I am actually most sympathetic as I think you have low self esteem, and that's so debilitating.

Even if you have called him - even if things are back on - try to wean yourself off this fella. There's Pain Ahoy otherwise. You need to put something, or someone, else into your life instead of him.

i'm not a troll!

He rang. Perfectly normal, cheerful self. I told him I wasn't impressed that he wouldn't talk to me last night. He replied "But honey, you were being antisocial!"

I pointed out that I tried ringing him later. He denied all knowledge of touching his phone after he went to bed (as he said he was going to do) at about ten o' clock.

then we talked about the weekend (he's bringing his children over) and where we are going to take all the children, and how the trains are going to run on the bank holiday Monday.

I have SEEN him switch his phone off in his sleep. He sleeps like the dead, he wakes up ready to piddle himself because his bladder doesn't wake him up.

So as far as I am concerned, he's forgiven. If there's any sign he IS punishing me with phone calls/lack of, I will reconsider my position.

I feel a twat, btw, for starting this thread, but I remember the red rug, the mouldies debacle, and She Who Must Not Be Named. I am a over sensitive melodramatic nightmare, but not a troll.

And thanks, ALL of you, for your opinions,

Plausible.

I meant plausible as far as your assessment of him in terms of his habit of turning his phone off in his sleep, not plausible that you are genuine. Of course you are.

Oh, come on. Don't pile in on someone just because they are a worrier or get things out of perspective. e.