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Original poster

Did your parents pay for your wedding?

50 replies

MamaLazarou · 14/08/2009 08:59

Inspired by a comment on another thread.

I thought this was rather old-fashioned at the time, but it would seem that it's still the 'done thing' in some families. What do you think?

OP posts:
beanieb · 14/08/2009 09:01

nope. My mum gave me a wedding gift of some cash (£1000) and we spent half of it on the wedding. His dad gave us £500 and his mum paid for the flowers £200. The rest we did ourself or with help (Cake, dress etc) ... Our wedding probably cost about £2500.

ChasingSquirrels · 14/08/2009 09:01

yes (11 years ago tomorrow). Bet they wish they hadn't now!

CMOTdibbler · 14/08/2009 09:02

No. Both sets of parents decided to give us some money towards it, but we paid for the majority and organised it all

snigger · 14/08/2009 09:02

Nope.

We paid for the wedding, my Dad paid for our honeymoon.

PCPlumIsMyHomeboy · 14/08/2009 09:04

Nope. Paid for it ourselves, had just what we wanted, all our friends and only close family, not the rent a crowd that would have bene expected if we'd let our parents pay. Not that they offered!

Clayhead · 14/08/2009 09:05

No, they offered but it would have seemed weird so we declined; we had been living together a while at the time and both had full time jobs.

IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern · 14/08/2009 09:06

Not really it was a joint effort really.
We payed most of it but MIL and my parents bought things or paid for things towards it.

Tommy · 14/08/2009 09:06

both sets gave us some money towards it but n the whole, we paid for it ourselves - you get more control that way

Tillyscoutsmum · 14/08/2009 09:06

No. Dad paid for the flowers for first wedding. Nothing from my Mum

Original poster
MamaLazarou · 14/08/2009 09:07

We couldn't afford a 'proper' wedding, so just nipped off down the registry office one Friday afternoon, and told everyone afterwards.

My mum spent £14,000 on my sister's first wedding - they are divorced now, and needless to say, my mum is not paying for the second! She is not rich, and took out a loan, which she has only just finished repaying.

My brother's wedding was paid for in entirety by his father-in-law (who is minted).

OP posts:
Pinkjenny · 14/08/2009 09:10

My PIL paid for the reception, my parents paid for my dress, photographs, flowers, cake etc. Dh and I paid for the video and all the other small things that seem to add up, favours etc.

I got married five years ago.

I am eternally grateful for the amount my parents spent, and we did ensure that we controlled the costs as much as possible, but it definitely took some control away from us. Sometimes you almost felt like you were asking permission for things. Still twas great

MmeLindt · 14/08/2009 09:10

We split the costs between my parents, the inlaws and ourselves. We paid for the honeymoon ourselves.

We organized and decided on everything. Suggestions from both sets of parents were taken on board but we made the final decisions.

bamboobutton · 14/08/2009 09:11

my parents paid for the reception, but we did a lot of it ourselves(cake, catering, flowers, brewed own beer and did a booze cruise)

parents are also paying some money towards sisters wedding in 2 weeks time and other sisters wedding in november. they also paid towards another sisters wedding back in may!

Wilts · 14/08/2009 09:14

No. My mum was not in any position to contribute financially. We received a small cheque from the In-laws.

We arranged everything ourselves and when we booked knew we would be paying for everything ourselves.

CyradisTheSeer · 14/08/2009 09:15

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ben5 · 14/08/2009 09:16

both sets of parents gave some money and my parents paid for my dress(ihad to pay for vail,shoes etc).the rest and orgination was done by us

nje3006 · 14/08/2009 09:16

Nope, my XH and I had been living together for years before we married so it would have felt ridiculous. They made a contribution to the wine and my mum paid for the cake (I wasn't going to have one).

As I'm now divorced I'm glad I'm not landed with that guilt...

MaybeAfterBreakfast · 14/08/2009 09:22

No, although PIL paid for wine at the reception. We didn't want them to (and they didn't offer). They didn't/don't approve of dh or the fact that we wouldn't get married in a church.

It was a very small wedding on a minimal budget.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 14/08/2009 09:28

Yes mine paid for our wedding. They could afford it comfortably and wanted to do it so DH and I accepted even though we could have afforded to pay for it ourselves. We had already chosen the venue etc when they offered.

tkband3 · 14/08/2009 09:28

We didn't expect or ask them to, but my parents (who are divorced) each gave me a large cheque towards the cost of the wedding, the honeymoon (all 2 days of it!) and a present afterwards. On top of that my mum's partner (lovely man) paid separately for the booze at the reception and DH's mum gave us a cheque as well.

It was only a small do anyway, with close family and a few very close friends - we'd already been together 11 years and had 3 children so anything over-blown would have seemed completely out of place.

squilly · 14/08/2009 09:30

My mum and dad couldn't afford to contribute, so I wouldn't dream of embarrassing them by asking or by taking money from the inlaws, so we paid for it ourselves. That was in 91. We didn't have a huge wedding, but still got into debt. Took about 3 years to pay it off .

Would recommend to dd that she gets married on a beach somewhere then has a big party when she comes home. Sounds like more fun for someone with a teeny family.

We only did the big wedding cos my dad was getting on a bit, had had 5 girls and not a white wedding amongst the lot of us. I wanted to see him in top hat and tails and am so glad we did it. He died a couple of years later.

Our reception was naff, but the wedding was great.

busybeingmum · 14/08/2009 09:37

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McDreamy · 14/08/2009 09:39

My parents paid for the reception, PIL paid for the band and we pid for everything else. I think my dad would have been very insulted if we had refused. I am his only daughter and he is very old fashioned/traditional.

charis · 14/08/2009 09:40

My parents paid for my wedding. I don't even know what it cost. I was 22 and straight out of university at the time, we would have been married at the registry office if we had been funding it ourselves.

My parents allowed me to have a fairytale wedding in a castle with the lovely emerald green medeival style dress I had dreamt of since childhood; and they got to invite the whole family and their friends. It was a fabulous wedding and I am very grateful.

They paid for my brothers wedding too. Which would have been wonderful but my brother and his bride both came down with gasto entiritis on the day and spent it in the bathroom apart from the 10 very green minuites of the vows. Everyone else had a ball though. The photos are hillarious.

Buda · 14/08/2009 09:43

No. DH was earning more than my Dad at the time. My Dad wanted to contribute though. At the time my sis and her DP were buying a house and need the help more so I persuaded Dad to lend them the money instead of giving it to us. In the end he paid for the cake and flowers and my Mum paid for the car as she insisted we have it. I was going to use taxis!

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