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Original poster

Did your parents pay for your wedding?

50 replies

MamaLazarou · 14/08/2009 08:59

Inspired by a comment on another thread.

I thought this was rather old-fashioned at the time, but it would seem that it's still the 'done thing' in some families. What do you think?

OP posts:

QuintessentialShadows · 14/08/2009 09:49

My parents paid £500 towards my wedding, which I was really grateful for.

We had a very nice low key registry office wedding, with just 33 guests, friends and family. Planned with 1 weeks notice. Possibly the most hectic week of my life. I organised flowers, cake, venue in a spanish restaurant and a tapas buffet with sangria, dhs suit, my own dress (an eggshell coctail dress in satin from Selfridges) and shoes (eggshell satin in the sale at the bridal salon at Selfridges) and accessories (eggshell satin long gloves and a gold bag and gold shawl from accessorize) photographs from local photographer. We managed all this for £500, but that was now 11 years ago. We think we had a fantastic wedding.

ConcernedMother · 14/08/2009 10:15

In my circle of friends back in 1970's the Bride's parents always paid for the wedding.

I didn't know things had changed but perhaps with people getting married later or living together first ....?

Cosmosis · 14/08/2009 10:20

Yes, my dad did. I am an only child to a single dad (my mum died when I was 7) and my dad really wanted to give me a special day. We didn't have anything ott, just a lovely simple wedding with reception in my dad's garden, but he loved paying for it. I know I am very lucky

EyeballsintheSky · 14/08/2009 10:21

Yes, they paid for it all. It was 9 years ago and we had the works including band, disco, string quartet during meal, toastmaster (the best use of money if you're having a big do; he was fab) and 'Elvis' during the break between band and disco.

At the time I would have gone for a quiet do if it was down to me but they were so excited and it was a terrific day. They paid for my brother's as well as his wife was divorced and her parents weren't prepared to stump up any more, which is fair enough but they were very nasty about it .

Having said all that though, apart from my own, the best wedding I ever went to was a 15 min registry office job with sausage rolls back at the bride's mother's and then all down the pub. It was so relaxed and everyone was chilled instead of stressy.

Louise2004 · 14/08/2009 10:25

Yes, my parents paid for our wedding (and it was lovely - my mum also organised it all, keeping to what we wanted so it was still very much "our day" to enjoy fully, without any of the hassles of having to book things etc. leading up to the day or on the day itself).

They also helped with one of my brother's weddings, even though it went against the old-fashioned way of doing things, as they realised the bride's parents wouldn't be able to cover the costs and neither would they as a couple. That was their wedding present from my parents.

castlesintheair · 14/08/2009 10:26

No. Had quite a cheapo one and no presents or honeymoon either. Interestingly, they paid for both of my brother's (very lavish) weddings including honeymoons, expensive jewellery for the bride. Me bitter? Never

sockmonkey · 14/08/2009 10:33

Mum & Dad paid for most of it... infact Mum and the family did most of it. I paid for half of the flowers and the dress as I was a poor Uni student. DH paid for honeymoon.
Mum did the food, and the cake. DBro worked at a card shop and "borrowed" the decorations for us. The boss at my PT job did the photos for us as a present.
Bridesmaid dresses were bought from Sainsburys in a sale.
Dad brought us up to be pretty cheap!

dollyparting · 14/08/2009 10:37

Like Charis, my parents paid for my wedding - I was 25, but it was what they expected to do. My in-laws paid for the cars and the flowers.

That was my first wedding.

Second time around we paid.

Tortington · 14/08/2009 10:44

no - she paid for the sit down and the buffet

we got a loan

cat64 · 14/08/2009 10:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

slug · 14/08/2009 11:24

The inlaws offered and we said "Thanks but no thanks". We were in our 30s and had secure jobs and had a cheap wedding anyway. DH is, however, an only child, so his parents really wanted to contribute. We compromised by suggesting they pay for the alcohol. Since this amounted to half the total cost of the wedding, everyone was happy, not to mention drunk by the end.

cornsillk · 14/08/2009 11:28

No we paid.

NBelle · 14/08/2009 11:37

My mum and dad paid for everything i was wearing including getting nails done etc and my dad also paid for the video which I said was too expensive to justify (so glad he did)and we got a hefty donation from my FIL.

My dad was expecting to have to pay for the lot but as my husband and I both have goods jobs i thought it was uneccesary. I think our wedding cost about £10k with our parents donating about half and then we paid for our honeymoon. It was a great day and I don't regret a single penny spent

bronze · 14/08/2009 11:40

yes. I was young (21) though and we weren't 'living' together. I wonder if that makes it seem different. My inlaws provided the booze. My parents then paid for the booze and brothers wedding.

woozlet · 14/08/2009 14:10

It was a mixture, my mum had given me some money from the sale of her house, she also gave my sis and step bros the same amount. My dad (parents separated) matched the amount my mum gave and we paid the rest. Oh and PIL paid for flowers and some booze.

Higgledyhouse · 14/08/2009 14:31

My wedding cost 27k. My parents paid about 8-9k of that. The rest my husband and I paid. Mum and dad mainly bought my dress, shoes, tiara etc (5k) and then the rest was put towards reception. DS family didn't contribute but they are not in position too.

Higgledyhouse · 14/08/2009 14:33

I mean, DH's family..............

HecatesTwopenceworth · 14/08/2009 14:33

Nope. I didn't expect them to. I announced I was getting married (I think we'd already booked it) and invited them. Never crossed my mind that they'd pay. Never crossed theirs either

MarshaBrady · 14/08/2009 14:39

Yes. Everything except for the flowers which the inlaws paid for and the photographer who was a friend.

All fairly traditional.

amidaiwish · 14/08/2009 14:40

my parents paid for all of it.
and my sisters.
and my sister's second wedding...

amidaiwish · 14/08/2009 14:42

not the honeymoon though. dh paid for it and PILs paid for video because they specifically wanted it.

allaboutme · 14/08/2009 14:47

we didnt expect any help with it
my dad gave us £3k towards it though and paid for my dress
the rest we paid ourselves (about £13k in total)
Mil made our cake

EyeballsintheSky · 14/08/2009 14:59

Should add to my reply that DH and I had not lived together at all before we got married; in fact we both married from our parents' houses as neither of us had moved out either. We had a flat for 9 months before the wedding and spent that time decorating and furnishing before we moved in, so we were alright for a traditional wedding IYSWIM

2rebecca · 14/08/2009 15:02

No, money towards it but wedding largely paid for and organised by us.

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 14/08/2009 15:07

My mum and dad paid for most of it. They are quite traditional and thats what they wanted. My DH's mum and dad couldn't afford to contribute much but they did the cake.

It was a fairly small wedding, I think it cost about £4000 all in all including our honeymoon. We got married in the Royal Pavilion, Brighton which was quite reasonably priced being the middle of winter and I did have a big, meringuey dress but the reception was quite low key and very inexpensive.

We weren't going to have a honeymoon but they paid for us to go away for 3 nights to a wonderful lovely little hotel in the cotswolds.

They also paid a third of the cost of my brothers massive wedding and they are now planning my sisters massive wedding next year.

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