Posted about this a few weeks ago, and I am so ashamed of myself because I pretty much ignored the advice.
Since being in touch with this man (was madly in love with him for yrs before dh), we have been emailing each other/flirting every day. I really don't want to cheat on dh. We have a seemingly perfect marriage; he is kind, a great father and we have everything in common.
But this how I am feeling at the moment...
I can't stop thinking about this other, it feels like I'm physically aching for him. He has been on my mind every second of the day to the point where I feel I can't think straight anymore. I can barely sleep, and spring out of bed eager to 'talk' to him again every day .
Have lost all interest in food, and feel like I'm just going through the motions of family life in a trance. Worst of all I can feel myself starting to resent dh. I feel ridiculously 'high' and sick at the same time, and spend most days in a daydream.
I love my life with dh and feel I have everything I ever wanted, and would never want to lose that, but I also feel quite trapped by it all too?!
I don't want an affair, I really just crave one eveining spent with this man, like it used to be before, and I feel gutted that I can't. How pathetically spoilt does that sound?
I love dh with all my heart but have never experienced that 'butterflies in stomach' feeling with him - feels so trecherous just writing that!
I seriously doubt me and the other man would ever have a proper relationship so it's not as though I can imgaine that. He represents all of the fun I used to have before...and I want some of that back too.
Surely I should never even think these things if I truly love dh?
I know I am being a horrible person, my head is a total mess.