who initiated?

[outofpractice]

I am interested in whether your or your dh/ dp took the initiative at the very beginning, when you started seeing each other. Do you think it has made any difference whether it was you or him? I try hard to understand what went wrong last time, and maybe I don't really remember things right, but part of me wonders whether because he was initially shy / slow to make a move, and then I did, that affected his attitude later, ie made him feel uncertain about whether he really wanted to be in the relationship. On the other hand, we quarrelled a couple of times and then I had full blown courtship from him with champagne, flowers, love letters to make me get back together with him. How important do you think your initial attitude was to how things turned out later?

[SimonHoward]

Outofpractice

Initiate what?

[outofpractice]

Surely you are being sarcastic?! In case you are not, I am asking who triggered the change in your relationship from friendly to physical / romantic.

[Clarinet60]

He did, but I knew it was coming. I have never had much luck with taking the initiative.

[CP]

In our case Tequila did it!! We were both attracted but too worried about messing up the friendship so the right amount of tequila got rid of all the inhibitions. We never dated though (sounds terrible!!) and right from the start he saw me at my worst with no make up, hung over and in my dressing gown. Just to clarify, I am not a nightmare tart - we were housemates!!! I don't think we ever did the romance thing - good thing too as it doesn't last anyway.

[doormat]

My dp and his ex were my mine and my ex husbands best friends. We did everything as a foursome (before you ask not sex). Our ex's had an affair with eachother but we could not prove anything. We both split up with our ex partners through various cheating and dp and I remained very good friends but most of all a shoulder to cry on for eachother.One night we were slightly tipsy and he initiated whereas I thought why not but I was worried that sex would ruin our friendship. He promised me it would not and I went for it. I have not regretted it once. He is not only still my best friend but also my lover and soulmate. We have our probs fom time to time but very happy. I am glad he initiated coz I would not have had the guts.

[slug]

DH's friend told me, on the evening we first met that he was a nice guy who just needed someone to take him in hand. A comment like tat is like a red rag to a bull as far as I'm concerned, so the poor boy didn't stand a chance after that. Not only did I have to make the first move, I also had to seduce him also. I got p**d off with waiting for him to lunge at me so I essentially shoved my tits in his face, sans bra.

We've been deleriously happy ever since.

[SimonHoward]

Outofpractice

I wasn't being sarcastic.

In mine and DW's case it was mutual. Neither of us really took the lead.

[mum2toby]

I must be a right slapper... I met my dp at the pub on Christmas day and slept with him that night!! We have been together as a couple ever since!

[Tissy]

slug

mum2toby

It took 2 cans of Strongbow for me to pluck up the courage to ask dh out. We slept together that night and have been together ever since (6 years)

[mum2toby]

Aw Tissy.

Strongbow...... that famous aphrodisiac!!

[mum2toby]

Beetroot!! A box of wine and I don't think we would come at all!!!

[mmm]

We were friends for a whole 6 weeks before we fell into each others genitals after a christmas party. How vulgar, but we're still together after 13 years. Are you a really real person SimonHoward or are you just there for titillation ?(I mean for us not for you)

[Philippat]

me
also right slapper, I'm afraid.

11 years on so it was obviously written in the stars.

[mum2toby]

All Slappers Unite!!

[lou33]

Another slapper here. Met dh at a party, wiggled around in front of him in the shortest skirt imaginable for a bit, and when that didn't work, grabbed a bottle of booze and him and hauled him off to a private room, not to surface for 2 days. We have been together 15 years today. Awwwwww.....

[kaz33]

Him, and for me a very decent interval of at least 3 days before sleeping with him.

[mum2toby]

Kaz33!!! YOU TEASE!!!

[kaz33]

I know, keep um hanging on that's what I say. It worked !!

Our first date - a midnight picnic on Hampstead Heath. His idea, I know now because he was totally broke - but at least the lad had imagination.

[slug]

Well, I WOULD have shagged him there and then (lovely arse, mmmm) but
a) We were both too drunk, and
b) The next day was the due date for all of my first year PGCE assignments and OF COURSE I hadn't done them, I was off getting plastered instead.

That one functioning brain cell I had left said, No, no, leave it for another day. How did I know he was going to be so coy?

[MABS]

17 yrs ago , fell into bed with him while boyfriend (his best friend) went to the offy, don't think we've ever been as spontaneous since...suppose i'm in the slappers anon club too.

[Meanmum]

You all know I'm a slapper by the comments I made about condoms in the domestic slut thread. Believe it or not dh made the move but considering I was trying to shag someone else that night and he made the move before I succeeded in getting the other guy home I think I'm still a slapper. Yes we fell into bed on the first night, remained there for the honeymoon period (pre wedding honeymoon period that is) and now seem to get there very rarely. Kids sure do change your life.