Have just found out dp has been 'spying' on the woman next door!

[voyeur]

with binoculars no less..... I feel sick .
What should I do??

This is odd - voyeur, I just don't understand why you are explaining the MSN convo with dh and his mate so late on in this post??

mum2girls - a couple of people thought it odd/queried her motives 'telling' me about the binoculars, so I thought I ought to come clean about how I found out he had been doing it.

Should have been totally honest from the start i admit, just didn't want people to think badly of me because I had been snooping on his computer.

Should have heeded that wise old proverb - what you don't know doesn't hurt you .

Now I'm starting to obsess about this, thinking what else has he been up to that I don't know about. I was in a relationship before this one where my DH cheated on me with a friend's wife and now I feel all those horrible feelings resurfacing.

I don't think I can go through this again, have 2 ds's as well

Generally if people are having an affair, they get to look at them up close and don't have to peer through windows.

Ludicrous.

Blu - is that aimed at me?

Blu - did u just call Voyeur

Blu - did u just call Voyeur 'Ludicris'?

Voyeur

I've just read through this thread and this is what I make of it.

Your neighbour seems to me like she is quite a predatory type of person and I say that from the comment she made about the binoculars. It sounds like she's gloating about the fact that a male is looking at her.
I would have it out with her personally. I reckon she must have done something even said something to your Dh for him to get some binoculars out and have a stare at her.

Have you told your dh how upset you are and how embarrasing it is for you?

Barnsley Girl - from what I read, Voyeurs neighbour didnt tell her that her DH was spying on her, but said in a later post that she had actually read one of her DH's msn chat thingy conversations with a mate of his confessing that he was into voyeurism and that he has spied on this girl, but Voyeur told DH that this neighbour had told her about hubby with binoculars because she (voyeur) didnt wanna admit to hubby that shes been snooping on his msn chats. I think thats how it went anyway!

Ah right, sorry I read it wrong.

That sort of changes things a bit then although I still think that she may have done/said something to provoke him.

"I still think that she may have done/said something to provoke him. "

Not necessarily true. To quote one of Voyeur's earlier posts:

"In fact the idiot had saved one of his MSN conversations with a male friend, during which he confessed to voyeurism being his fetish and that 'I've spied on the woman opposite with binoculars, she's nothing special but it's just the thrill of getting caught'"

Doesn't sound like she has been encouraging it. Spying on someone without their permission for your sexual thrills is deeply unpleasant and creepy and is also a form of assault. Voyeur's husband is lucky he hasn't been reported to police. He'd find himself with more 'thrills' than he ever imagined.

I agree I certainly don't think he's the innocent one in all of this. It is a creepy and dangerous thing to do.

No I am not Batters.....what made u think that?

I am 21 years old, don't have a DH or a D anything for that matter, and I certainly dont have any neighbours that are worth spying on!

No I'm not annainmanchester batters.

I really don't know how to move on from this, I'm struggling with the disgust that I feel towards dp and trying to convince myself that this isn't going to totally finish our relationship off.

I would confront him tell him you found the conversation on the pc and be upfront! I do find this very very starnge and i think i would feel totally discusted with my dp if he did this too, no in fact i would be discusted. I think you need to have this out with him before it gets well out of hand its a rather starnge thing to be doing and "bragging" about it to your friend!

God if you found that conversation enquiring about exploring swinging minus you, then you have to confront him. How could you possible go on as normal after that. And him admitting to the spying. The thing is just admit what you did cos you had strange feelings of doubt about him and you were right. I mean your crime next to his is laughable, he can't argue. I snooped on my Dp's computer history and found a bit of porn etc nothing hectic but I admitted to him I looked and to explain certain comments, it does make it easier when you admit your source, I mean you woulnd't be the first woman. But you've got to come clean with him so you can tackle it. Otherwise you'll go mad. Good luck voyeur, hope you're ok XXX