Have just found out dp has been 'spying' on the woman next door!

[voyeur]

with binoculars no less..... I feel sick .
What should I do??

well, i suppose she could - she's been single for over a year...... just writing this all down makes it seem obvious doesnt it?

maybe, but he is hardly doing anything to stop her, so i wouldn't lay all the blame at her door just yet.

I'd keep quiet and try to carry on as normal whilst secretly taking stock and noting stuff.

i would'nt jump the gun just yet.
i think it needs more investigsting.

If you mouth off they/he'll know you're onto something.

yes but trouble is he knows I'm on his case now so if there was anything, he'd be doubly sure to cover his tracks now

You're going to need to try to 'act' a bit, hard I know.

Just make light of it now and try to change the subject. Say you know it was a silly mistake.

ok thanks for the advice

send him over there to opologise, and watch out the window to see if you can pick up anything from thier body language.

I;m off to bed now hun, hope you're ok.

voyeur, you said she approached you. Seems unlikely that they're invoved with each other, sounds like its just your dp. Sorry.

Ewwww, creepy, I hope she doesn't find out

I think it's odd that she said it to you. What was her demeanour when she said 'tell your dp I like his binoculars'? Was she laughing about it, like giving you something to think about - dropping a bombshell into your head - or - was she trying to cover her anger about it, hoping you would 'deal with him'. It's just if she was happy go lucky about it, I'd say she's some weird tease who's been up to something, dropping into conversation that she washes in the kitchen and probably flirting with whoever crosses her path - ie your dp. or else if she seemed cross about it, she's obviously more normal and genuinely put out and wants you to let him know she knows... Some women are very predatory and she could have been up to all kinds to get attention??

ive just read this thread, and this is what i make of it. your neighbour may have made that comment to make you aware of what hes been doing. it would be something i would do. if i was her, i wouldnt want to say anything to him directly, but i wouldnt want to accuse him of spying on me in case he wasnt actually looking directly at me when looking through his binoculars IYSWIM.

also, if hes looking into her kitchen, theres not a lot that she could be doing for him to get a kick out of unless she cooks in her underwear (sorry not trying to be funny, but practical IYSWIM) so maybe he could just be over paranoid, or very bored? i know sometimes i nose over at my neighbours but only if im bored or if ive heard them shouting or something. and if shes looking out her kitchen, im sure its probably very innocent as i tend to day dream whilst im washing up and stare out the window.

just my view, hope you're ok voyeur

he was defo getting his jollies and got caught. tell him hes a rotten tossbag and make him feel guilty for ages.

Yes he was def getting his jollies dirty bas*d... and I've been slightly misleading by saying that the woman opposite told me to say 'nice binoculars' cause that's what I told dp so that I had an excuse to explain how I knew he had been spying.

In fact the idiot had saved one of his MSN conversations with a male friend, during which he confessed to voyeurism being his fetish and that 'I've spied on the woman opposite with binoculars, she's nothing special but it's just the thrill of getting caught'.

Also during this conversation (it gets better) they were chatting about 'swingers' and my dp was asking if the friend knew of anything local going on as '(me) would not be game for that' and that he would love to experience it.

Have you had this out with him?!

this just gets better

how old is he voyeur and how long have you been together?

Sounds as though he's in danger of STRAYING ...

Voyeur,
sorry to be sceptical but I might believe you if you used your real MN name.

Sorry and all...

No haven't confessed to nosing on his computer yet.... nearly had a fit last week as he was all for going to see this woman next door to have it out with her (I had to convince him that he would only make it worse, he was in the wrong and I think I would have reacted in the same way).

So, he could be having an affair with her couldnt he? She has said some pretty odd things over the months....

He is 36 and we have been together for 10 years.... not terribly happy tbh and yes it does sound like he is on the verge of straying, if he hasn't already.

What can I do?

hmc - I totally understand what you are saying, but I really can't use my mn name, there are people on here who i know in RL and I would just die of shame

Ok - sorry to push you Voyeur. But for the record you have nothing to be ashamed of - maybe your dh does!

Feeling churlish now for doubting you. Hope you are bearing up okay...