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Original poster

Threesomes - anyone tried this....?

89 replies

naughtygirly · 28/04/2009 18:34

I am using a different name for this as I know how judgemental people can be about this sort of thing!

DH and I have a great sex life and a very happy and stable relationship. I have always been turned on by the idea of being with another woman (I am not a lesbian or even bi-sexual as I am not attracted to women as such). Last year we had a short encounter with another woman while on holiday which we both enjoyed but it was a bit limited and we wanted to experience a full on threesome. We have talked about this many times over the past year. Since the occasion on holiday I have also found the idea of watching DH with another woman a big turn on. Obviously being a man the idea of two women is not something he had to think much about!

Anyway after much searching we have found a single girl who we have spoken to several times and we are meeting her this Saturday. I am not nervous or worried btu was wondering if anyone else had done this or if we are in the minority here?

OP posts:
screamingabdab · 28/04/2009 21:07

I am pretty sure you are in the minority

No judgements from me

BCNS · 28/04/2009 21:10

Don't do it.. it will end up messy

GypsyMoth · 28/04/2009 21:14

could ruin your relationship which right now you THINK is strong enough.....but believe me,it isn't!

nickytwotimes · 28/04/2009 21:16

My friend did this.
(seriously, it was a friend, I would not go there!)

It broke her heart seeing her dp shagging another woman and loving it.

Keep it as a fantasy.

traceybath · 28/04/2009 21:18

Think it was samantha in satc who said its always best to be the 'guest' in a threesome.

No judgement but suspect it may turn out to be more complicated than you're expecting.

Good luck.

GypsyMoth · 28/04/2009 21:20

what happened last year on hols? has it REAlly been ok since? who wants it most?

fanjolina · 28/04/2009 21:24

Had a friend who thought her marriage was strong and this would be some extra spice that they'd both enjoy. Ended up destroying her marriage. Like Nicky's friend, she couldn't get over the image of her DH shagging another woman.
Hope it works out for you.

BCNS · 28/04/2009 21:28

just don't go there. I have never heard of this turning out well.

mid you solid might be along in a bit with some proper advise

RumourOfAHurricane · 28/04/2009 21:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ohyes · 28/04/2009 21:38

I fancy this too but am seriously worried about the way things could turn out so think will take the advice here as I truly value my marriage above all else. I suspect I lean a bit more towards the bisexual though as I rarely have male fantasies/crushes.

What about swinging though?? I have some friends (a hetero couple) who I suspect would be up for it (she and I were very close before we respectively got married...). DH and I have only ever talked about it when drunk but he was quite enthusiastic. Oh why are we both so shy????

Good luck if you decide to go through with it...

SerendipitousHarlot · 28/04/2009 21:42

I would strongly recommend NOT doing it. I have done it, and I enjoyed it at the time, but the repercussions were immense, ending with the OW seeing my ex behind my back

She was my best friend. Stupid bloody thing to do, in hindsight.

If you really want to experiment, I wouldn't do it with anyone you care about emotionally.

MrsTittleMouse · 28/04/2009 21:48

I just mentioned this to DH and he pointed out that images of him shagging another woman would be irrelevant as he would be happy to leave her well alone and let me get on with it. I'm not even sure that he isn't joking.

But that could be an option for you.

BCNS · 28/04/2009 21:52

agree whole heartedly with SDH.. I really am not judging..
you may be better experimenting at a club.. absolutly no getting to know the third party.. our third party ended my marriage.

BeehiveBaby · 28/04/2009 21:58

Well DH and I did it with a very good friend of mine quite early in our relationship and we are all fine, TBH I had actually forgotten . I also had sex with her fiancee with her blessing.

Deemented · 28/04/2009 22:05

I have been part of several threesomes. As long as there is communication and everyone is upfront with what they want from it, then they can be great.

Hubbs and i had a few friends, male and female, who we would occasionally have sex with (pre-children), and we trusted them completely. It was never a case that one of us felt left out, and as far as i'm aware there was never any jealousy.

BettyTurnip · 28/04/2009 22:05

How can you be turned on by being with another woman (theoretically or in reality) but not class yourself as bisexual? Sorry, not meaning to sound confrontational and probably irrelevant.

SerendipitousHarlot · 28/04/2009 22:10

I suppose, Betty, that you can't really know whether or not you're bisexual until you know whether being with another woman turns you on. If that makes sense.

I said for years that I could see how women were attractive, but I could never 'dine in the downstairs restaurant' - but I was wrong, and it was, and will always be the person that turns me on as opposed to the gender.

BettyTurnip · 28/04/2009 22:19

Ok, thanks for explaining (very genteel euphanism )!

innerturmoil · 28/04/2009 22:33

LOL at 'dining in the downstairs restaurant'!

Think the fantasy is always better than the reality for most people. Having said that have a friend who is well up for it, and her husband goes along for the ride and it has only affected their relationship for the better.

MamazonFirstladyofFilth · 28/04/2009 22:39

had a 3way previously but only with casual partners.

i think you need to think long an hard before going though wit it whilst in a serious commited relationship.

but if you are both happy to try it the only way you will know if it will work or not is to try it. just make sure you both agree beforte hand that nomatter what, if one of you is unhappy you wont push for it again.

CountessDracula · 28/04/2009 22:40

I have always been turned on by the idea of being with another woman (I am not a lesbian or even bi-sexual as I am not attracted to women as such

really???

Ivykaty44 · 28/04/2009 22:45

and her husband goes along for the ride

lol

CurlyhairedAssassin · 28/04/2009 22:52

Never done it, but always fascinated hearing stories from people who have. Just for the detail really. Like, when your bloke is shagging the other woman, what do YOU do? Sit and crochet? Play with your rabbit - be it a pet one or battery-operated? Write a shopping list?

BeehiveBaby · 28/04/2009 22:58

I did go and make a cup of tea at one point

CurlyhairedAssassin · 28/04/2009 22:58

Ah you see - you've been put off now by the thought of having to crochet!