Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Threesomes - anyone tried this....?

89 replies

naughtygirly · 28/04/2009 18:34

I am using a different name for this as I know how judgemental people can be about this sort of thing!

DH and I have a great sex life and a very happy and stable relationship. I have always been turned on by the idea of being with another woman (I am not a lesbian or even bi-sexual as I am not attracted to women as such). Last year we had a short encounter with another woman while on holiday which we both enjoyed but it was a bit limited and we wanted to experience a full on threesome. We have talked about this many times over the past year. Since the occasion on holiday I have also found the idea of watching DH with another woman a big turn on. Obviously being a man the idea of two women is not something he had to think much about!

Anyway after much searching we have found a single girl who we have spoken to several times and we are meeting her this Saturday. I am not nervous or worried btu was wondering if anyone else had done this or if we are in the minority here?

OP posts:
Ballina · 04/05/2009 19:26

You both seem very compatible. As long as you are both enjoying it, what's the harm?

Original poster
naughtygirly · 04/05/2009 19:31

Thank you Tess.
I think you have banged the nail on the head there.

Oh and Mrs Weasley, we will be seeing her again, amongst others

OP posts:
Original poster
naughtygirly · 04/05/2009 19:32

Conniedescending by name AND nature?

OP posts:
conniedescending · 04/05/2009 19:40

i just think it's sad naughtygirl

AnyFucker · 04/05/2009 19:40

apart from connie, I think you have had very little judgemnt on this thread, just a little curiosity and warnings to make sure you have thought it through properly

therefore, I see little reason for "MrNaughtyGirly" to come on and justify your sexlife

methinks this smacks of exhibitionism

hope you got your rocks off

Original poster
naughtygirly · 04/05/2009 19:59

Perhaps Anyfucker, but not our scene really, Mr only posted so this could become informative for those who wanted to know. We see no need to justify our actions to ourselves or anyone.

As a rebuttle to Connie, I think there is a strong element of naiveity to your statement. Mr naughty has been monogamous his entire life, and would never have suggested something like this, and not naively, I believe he would not have strayed for the remainder of our life. You will disagree I have no doubt, but males have a primal instinct
Call it what you like, sad or otherwise, we had fun, we will have fun, and should something not go our way, we will stop. Our relationship is the most important thing here.

Anyway I think it is time to end this thread as I came on here to find out if anyone else was involved in this scene not start a debate (although I guess it was a bit naive to expect anything else).

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 04/05/2009 20:03

you are right ng, there is no way this would no be a debateable subject

I am surprised, actually, there has not been more

good luck to you x

and if you feel the need to let us in on any more of your "action", feel free

howtotellmum · 04/05/2009 20:14

Out of interest- who gets the most out of it- Mr N for doing it, or you for watching?

Are the women you involve single, and looking for no-strings sex, with no worries that they will end up the OW?

Original poster
naughtygirly · 04/05/2009 20:16

Ha ha! Anyfucker are you a man BTW?

I am surprised there has not been more people who say they do it. The swinging communities are thriving it seems. Shall be posting there from now on with this sort of thing. Don't want to warp any more fragile minds

OP posts:
Ballina · 04/05/2009 20:24

Howtotell - she has already said she gets off watching him. As hard as it might be for you to undertand that, you have to take her word for it.

AnyFucker · 04/05/2009 20:51

no, I am not a man

just a nosey female

Showmeheaven · 04/05/2009 20:53

Watching dh shag another woman is defo a fantasy of mine but not something I would ever want to become reality. I would never fantasize about me shagging another bloke and dh watching tho

scardypants · 04/05/2009 21:15

Hi Mr&Mrs NG,

Just thought I'd let you know you're not the only ones. I don't want to discuss it on MN for fear of taking all the focus off the bumsex and fingers up DPs bottoms threads but wanted to let you know that yes there are others, who you quite rightly say, are in similar relationships but chose not to talk about it in real life with their everyday friends.

Agree with most of the comments here. It CAN lead to disaster BUT it can be a lot of fun too. There's a risk in most things in life, but life is for living too. If you want to do something you enjoy and have considered the possible ramifications if things don't go according to plan and are willing to live with them then go ahead and live your life. Only you two know eachother and the very private communication, understanding and level of trust in your relationship.

Lots of people want to jump out of planes Not my thing for fear of being splattered all over the ground but if those doing it enjoy it, are not hurting others and have considered what might happen if things go wrong then who am I or anyone else to tell them they shouldn't do it. I'd certainly ask them if they were aware of the risks (mostly that's all that's been said here)but ultimately it can only be their decision.

Best of luck. Have fun.

Original poster
naughtygirly · 04/05/2009 21:57

Bang on the money scardypants. Thank you for making what I think is the sanest and most interesting post on this subject. I really couldn't have put it better myself

OP posts:
SomeGuy · 04/05/2009 22:08

I jumped out of a plane. Didn't enjoy it. Waste of money. Luckily didn't get splatted.

The Mrs. was away for a month or so and so that's what I decided to do.

Original poster
naughtygirly · 04/05/2009 22:34

Really someguy? I have never heard anyone say they hated skydiving once they had actually done it. I would definitely be the person to get splatted. When I did my first (and only) bungee jump my boobs fell out of my top and I got a huge cheer from the 500 people assembled below. Good times.

OP posts:
woodenchair · 04/05/2009 23:07

I'm with someguy, i jumped and hated every minute of it. Even the flight up wasn't pleasant lol

Back to the thread, good luck to you ng have fun!

solidgoldSneezeLikeApig · 04/05/2009 23:13

Glad it went well for you. Lots of people do this sort of thing and it doesn't hurt them or mess up their existing relationships in the slightest.

itchyandscratchy · 04/05/2009 23:32
scardypants · 04/05/2009 23:57

Cheers NG

Take care.

dittany · 05/05/2009 00:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LissyGlitter · 05/05/2009 00:25

Me and DP have been to a swingers club, had a few threesomes (one with a bloke who did stuff with both of us, one with a woman who only did things with me and one with a bloke who only did things with me) and a general party orgy thing. They were all great, and brought me and DP much closer. We have decided to stop it now for a while, as it was getting silly (most of our friends knew we were into it, and I kind of felt like I had to "prove" how liberated I was to them all the time, plus the orgy was when I got so drunk I couldn't remember which of our friends I had shagged, and I found that a bit embarrassing) but will probably start it again at another point in our lives.

It just kind of came naturally to us, we are both very comfy with our bodies and our relationship, we are both bisexual so no hangups about what gender the other person/people is/are, and we can both see sex as a separate thing to love. We have rules, eg no doing anything without the other person being there or at least giving explicit permission (eg DP went out one night to the pub and brought some bloke back for a drink, he came and woke me up and told me he had someone downstairs and did I want to come and see what happened, I couldn't be arsed coming downstairs, so he went down and had a little snog with the bloke and watched the other man have a wank, then he told me all about it the next day)

One of my favourite memories from the swingers club is talking to another woman about dresses and having a drink, and breaking off from the conversation to ask DP to please budge up a little bit as his legs kept hitting my arm as he was shagging some other woman! I loved the relaxed atmosphere, there was absolutely no pressure to do anything, and everyone loved the fact that I have a hairy fanny and was still lactating!

Of course we always insist on condoms, for all contact, that goes without saying, and either one of us can call a halt to things if we feel at all weird or anything. But generally it has been a great experience, which has enabled us both to learn more about ourselves, our relationship and other people. I have slept with about three times as many people since I got with DP than I had beforehand! (although not one of them has had that special something that DP has, which is a combination of love and knowing my body almost as well as he knows his own )

scardypants · 05/05/2009 00:57

Dittany. That came across like you're not really sure but 'word in the village' is that it can happen. Very funny but anyway....

You're right, that would be one of the risks along with STD's, partner leaves, hook up with a bunny-boiler but like I said everything in life has risks. All the thrill rides!

It's an individual thing. If you have considered that the villagers have a point but are prepared to take the risk and face the consequences then go ahead and enjoy the ride.

I feel the same about men or women with children jumping out of planes, off platforms with elastic tied to their feet, riding rollercoasters and the like. Anything could happen and their children would be left orphans or with only one parent because of a thrill ride gone wrong BUT people still do it because they weigh up the risks. Why should a sexual thrill be any different? The risks are very different but the aftermath could be quite similar. All precautions are taken, the parashute, the giant airbag under the bugee crane, the harness in the rollercoaster, the condom.

Can't all go to bed and lie rigid waiting for fun to waltz through our door and say 'hey, wanna life?'. We're all in the driving seat of our own lives. Some of us have the God-given priviledge of having children in our lives too and we must make our decisions with their best interest foremost in our minds but we do not have to stand still in fear that someday something might go wrong. That's not living, that's existing.

Be adult, be aware, be careful, be accountable, be alive and BE HAPPY!

Nightnight all

Ballina · 05/05/2009 07:58

I am pretty sure these consenting adults will have thought it out Dittany. What would you have them do though I wonder, if you ruled the world..

dittany · 05/05/2009 11:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.