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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Hi I would like to know if I was out of order !

40 replies

JUSTNEEDOPINIONS · 09/04/2009 15:00

Namechanged here...DH and I have been having a rocky patch for a while...a lots of pressure, moving house, 2 demanding dds etc...Our sex life could be alright if it was for him !! Tuesday felt really horny and he was tired, so I ermm teased him a bit and then we had sex, good session actually ! Second night same, but he told me I'm fed up of you forcing me having sex, I was tired, I was in sleeping mode...and you wouldn't live "it" as his ermm popol alone.. I was hurt, for fuck sake he's only 34 years old..hardly a middle aged man no ??? How would you feel ?

OP posts:
themildmanneredjanitor · 09/04/2009 15:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

solidgoldshaggingbunnies · 09/04/2009 15:02

Erm, if one person doesn't want sex it's not OK to keep fiddling with them when they have asked you to stop. He doesn't have to have sex just because you're horny.

Original poster
JUSTNEEDOPINIONS · 09/04/2009 15:04

but man it's the first that happened..I just really needed it.. so you think I owe him apologies ?? Man I'm confused but it's good to know !

OP posts:
fattiemumma · 09/04/2009 15:04

how would you feel if you said no im tired and he said oh go on and started fumbling about in your knickers?

Original poster
JUSTNEEDOPINIONS · 09/04/2009 15:05

Does it implied I have raped my husband ??

OP posts:
Twims · 09/04/2009 15:05

I think he's right - he felt forced to sleep with you and if this was the other way round I bet there would be loads of people having go about a man wanting to sleep with someone who was tired/didn't want it at that point in time but due to being teased* felt committed to the act.

I think your sentence - your sex life would be ok if it wasn't for him is quite telling.

themildmanneredjanitor · 09/04/2009 15:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BecauseImWoeufit · 09/04/2009 15:06

Well what do you think?

Twims · 09/04/2009 15:06

No you didn't rape your husband but you did put him in an "uncomfortable" position.

abbierhodes · 09/04/2009 15:06

You don't sound very nice tbh.

SlartyBartFastlaidanegg · 09/04/2009 15:08

i don't understand op.
did you do it both nights?

AnyFuckerStealsHerKidsEggs · 09/04/2009 15:09
Hmm
fattiemumma · 09/04/2009 15:11

no you didn't rape him.
but having been in an abusive relationship i would often let my xp have sex with me despite not wanting to rather than force the issue to reach that stage ( it did, frequently) if your Dp felt that if he continued to say no it would have caused WW3 then i imagine he wuold have felt used and quite upset about it afterwards.

i know i certinly did

SlartyBartFastlaidanegg · 09/04/2009 15:21

after not having had a reply... i have come to my decision.
yabu.
two nights in a row!!
but seriously there needs to be give and take in a relationship and how would you feel if your dh was moaning down the pub/on the net.. about you not agreeing to sex 2 nights in a row!

Original poster
JUSTNEEDOPINIONS · 09/04/2009 15:21

I was just stroking him in the right place and he responded to it..I mean when he doesnt want, he doesnt want but this time I have insisted a bit more and he gave in and he gave all his heart to it, it was great...the day after, oh I really tired yesterday, I was in sleeping mode...but surely, if he really didnt want it, nothing would have happenend no ??? We have done it both night yes !! Thank you for all your answers !!

OP posts:
purpleduck · 09/04/2009 15:24

OK - Did you NEED an orgasm? Or did you NEED some physical contact with your dh?

If you needed an orgasm - then I assume your own hands reach?

VinEGGarTits · 09/04/2009 15:26

what a familiar posting style you have

Original poster
JUSTNEEDOPINIONS · 09/04/2009 15:27

Alright I get I'm in the wrong..feel awfull..It's going to be awkward from now on ;-(

OP posts:
SlartyBartFastlaidanegg · 09/04/2009 15:28

lol
was that meant to be a cross face.

where will things be awkward.

ok, he was wrong to be wingy about the night before.
but did you remind him how you both enjoyed it?

mosschops30 · 09/04/2009 15:30

OMG, you sound awful 'if he wasnt interested then nothing would have happened would it'!!!!!

Er so women that dont scream whilst being raped are enjoying it are they??

You have hands/fingers/toys, if youre that desparate for an orgasm then do it yourself!

BrokenFlipFlop · 09/04/2009 15:31

If he wants to sleep, leave him alone. As other people have said, if you were in his position...?

I would suggest 2 things, one learn to communicate better with him/each other and two, buy a fecking Rabbit

purpleduck · 09/04/2009 15:33

btw, popol?

CrushWithEyeliner · 09/04/2009 15:36

you.are.weird

RealityIsMyOnlyChocolateEgg · 09/04/2009 15:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

VinEGGarTits · 09/04/2009 15:39

Weren't you the same person who was stalking tdwp?

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