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Relationships

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Original poster

does size really matter?

38 replies

stitch · 20/04/2005 23:02

im hoping to find out what the consensus of opinion is.
do men really want thin partners. or does a size eighteen girl really have the same chances? i always believed that inner beauty was the more important factor, but am revising my opinion due to some recent events. what do you all think?

OP posts:

Gomez · 20/04/2005 23:04

I honestly think some men like thin woman and some men like curvy woman. Each to their own in this as in all things.

compo · 20/04/2005 23:07

agree with Gomez. Some men love the more volumptuous figure to the stick thin model type. I think men like confident women, so if you're a size 20 and happy with yourself you're much more attractive than a waiflike size 8 who is continuously asking if your bum looks big

Dior · 20/04/2005 23:11

Message withdrawn

Gomez · 20/04/2005 23:11

Quite right Compo - it is all a bit of a cliche but if you are confident and happy with yourself then you are attractive!

I will add a bit of a caveat however I think that in general this only holds if you are on large side of normal, if you are very large then people will on the whole have issues.

Dior · 20/04/2005 23:12

Message withdrawn

Gomez · 20/04/2005 23:13

Dior I think some men want the Kate Moss model and some want the (original) Sophie Dahl model. I would be really upset if my DH loved me more when I was slimmer TBH.

compo · 20/04/2005 23:13

I think people are embarassed to be seen with anyone who doesn't 'conform' as well which is very sad

Gomez · 20/04/2005 23:15

Different in many ways thou not just larger Compo?
You still around Stitch?

Original poster

stitch · 20/04/2005 23:29

hi, sorry, had to go downstairs to sort out kitchen.
dior what you say about your sis sounds famiiar to me. why though.

OP posts:

Branster · 20/04/2005 23:30

what are the recent events stich?

i'm one of those 'thin' women and never had any problems in getting attention from men (even those happily in a relation with a larger woman). but the size is only part of the equation.I'm convinced of that. i'm also v confident with men. the most useful tool I found it to be femininity. so size matters up to a point, you can't base a relationship on it alone though.
then again, does size in a man matter that much? IYNWIM. One of my ex's was rather on the small side yet was one of the best lovers I ever had.
nature compensates in other ways and it's done instinctively.

Gomez · 20/04/2005 23:30

Out of curiosity thou what is a 'big girl'? We all might have differnt definitions.

Original poster

stitch · 20/04/2005 23:31

sorry am really upset about all this. i think my sis has been rejected by a bloke coz of her size. and its not that he's a horrible bloke. just seems to want someone thinner.
and im really upset on her behalf....she's a wonderful person, and would make a wonderful partner/mother. wo why should she have toput up with this crap?

OP posts:

Original poster

stitch · 20/04/2005 23:33

size 16 or 18. BMI of 31 or so. clinically obese. and makes her look older, but she is very groomed.

OP posts:

Branster · 20/04/2005 23:33

but that's his choice. i take it they didn't go out together then he dumped her. was it more like nothing even started?

why do you think it's only the size?

Gomez · 20/04/2005 23:35

But surely if that is his game then he is not worth bothering with for you sister - git that he probably is .

I would call myself a lager girl (size 16 but only 5' 2") and have never had any issues in that department as they say. My sister is also fairly big (probably about a 20/22) but the difference is she thinks as a FAT person and I don't. This all shows in the way she dresses. carrys herself, talks, the things she does etc. It is very difficult to seperate the person from the dress size if that is how they feel.

Gomez · 20/04/2005 23:35

Whilst I do enjoy a lager a quite clearly meant larger....

Original poster

stitch · 20/04/2005 23:36

well, basically she wants to get married and have kids now. and she hasnt found anyone herself. so thought we'd go down the arranged marriage route. but being as independant as we are, that just means parents/family introducing her to blokes. and all the responses seem to be favourable until they either meet her, or see her picture.
she's groomed, beautiful, intellignet, witty, independant, successful in her chosen career. so what else can ther be?

OP posts:

Branster · 20/04/2005 23:36

most deffinetly gomex. attitude plays such an important role in the way others see us.

Original poster

stitch · 20/04/2005 23:37

OP posts:

Branster · 20/04/2005 23:38

but maybe she is different when she meets this blokes. after all meeting a stranger is quite stressfull and makes people feel uncomfortable most of the time.

Original poster

stitch · 20/04/2005 23:38

wwell, she doesnt think she is fat. but i think, she feels very vulnerable being introduced to men in this way. i know i would. but what other way is there? leave it to chance? hasnt worked yet.

OP posts:

Original poster

stitch · 20/04/2005 23:39

yes, thats what i think too branster, but how else do you go about meeting a guy to be a potential lifemate, father to your kids etc?

OP posts:

Branster · 20/04/2005 23:40

it may take longer to work by chance but it sure is less embarrassing for her.
what about guys from her work? does she fancy anyone?
also, she must not strta thinking she has to have the first guy that shown above normal interest. she needs to make sure they're right for her.

Original poster

stitch · 20/04/2005 23:42

problem with guys at work, and social circle is they are either all spoken for, or complete twats.

OP posts:

Branster · 20/04/2005 23:42

this is not an easy one stich!
I know friends who have met the love of their life when they were over 35 (some with own kids already) but I also have a dear friend who looks like a model (well, she actually was a model), just turned 40, depserate to have a family etc, incredibly nice to talk to etc etc, yet she cannot find a man! Maybe it's fate??

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